Abstracted by the abstract

I go to a lot of art workshops. I've been to many over the years. I have learnt a lot, hands on, and always come away with more knowledge and more experience, which adds to my expertise as an artist. I always say that I can paint anything for anybody, and a lot of that is because of the diverse subjects using diverse mediums I have learnt at these workshops.

So, you would think that maybe I've learnt all there is to know, by now.
And you would be wrong. Very wrong,  to think that, because art is such a vast subject, that I don't think any artist could learn everything in one lifetime.

And you would think that going to these workshops for so long I must have learnt everything I should need to know by now, and sometimes I think that must be the case........

.....and then we had a day like the one last Saturday, which turned everything on its head. Totally.

I knew it was going to be a good one. Even before I went. It was about "Abstract". And that's a difficult enough subject on its own. But I do abstracts already, and enjoy them, and have painted enough of them for other people, who also enjoy them. But, what I have done in the past is the first step into abstracts, and that is when I've taken an image, a photo, of a tangible, solid thing (well, not too solid, in the case of the fannies!!! tee hee!!!) and made the realistic image an abstract in that I've changed the shapes, or the colours, to hide the image, so that those in the know, know what it is, but those not in the know (children and the more innocent amongst us) only see innocence in the art. And I must admit I love that aspect of the work I've done. So, I went along to the workshop with experience under my belt. But I also knew we were going into areas of which I hadn't got any experience, since I've never painted pictures of this new and more exciting subject matter.

There were 11 or so other people attending, and all women, I noticed. Don't men paint abstracts I wonder?

And during the course of this workshop we only spent two hours painting out of the six, and normally I would be tearing at the bit at that point, because as far as I am concerned, the whole point of being there is to paint and be creative. But this time, I didn't mind, not at all, as I was learning. Learning about abstracts.

About painting an abstract idea in an abstract way.

Sounds simple, doesn't it? Until you think about it, really think about it,  when someone asks you to paint "Happiness" and then put a colour to it. Just one single colour. And that was one of the easier emotions to do (for me, anyway!). The first picture here is depicting eight abstract notions - reading from left to right -happiness, sad, anger, misery, feminine, depression, elation, frustration. To start with we were asked to "make marks" with a pencil for each of the concepts. "Happiness" was easy for me, its a burst of wow followed by a large elongated circle rising up and reducing as it flows away. "Sad", "Misery" and "Depression" were more difficult as they're not emotions I dwell on if I can avoid it. And I found it interesting that I depicted "Anger" as a solid cube with bursts of high activity above it. But, of course, everyone else in the class had their own interpretations of each concept, and none was right, or wrong, just different in each of us. I liked the fact that femininity for me is bright, scarlet red, not pink and wishy washy. And that depression was muddy colours, and yet happiness was bright and cheerful yellow. How interesting, and revealing too! Psychologists would have a field day with this one!

The tutor went on to show us her ideas for painting more abstract ideas, like music, maths,  time, and motion. This got me thinking, and when we were able to start painting, with only two hours of the session left, I knew I wanted to paint "Time", but do it my way.

I stood and thought of the visual aspects of time - clocks, daylight, sun and moon, and then about clocks ticking, alarm clocks, the numbers on a clock face, but also the numbers that relate to months, years, weeks, and days. And started to come up with an idea for a painting, a working concept, that depicts time and all the things related to it. The picture here was conceived, drawn, created, and finished within two hours. It could be painted a lot better, and more subtly and perhaps with more ideas added to it. But as a working painting, its a good one. And it surprised me how involved I got in it. Because, whilst I was doing it, I let a cup of tea go cold. Now, that may not sound like much to you, but I love my tea, hot, sweet, fragrant tea. Nothing much stops me from drinking it, except being totally and utterly enthralled with a piece of painting. And that was the case with this picture. And not only that, but someone told me my shoe lace was undone, and I nodded in acknowledgement, but I was too busy to bend down to do it up, too busy to go to the loo, too busy to talk to anyone, or go and look to see what they were doing, too rapt in my art. Time was ticking, both literally, and in my painting.

We had to finish by four o'clock, a reminder of time and its importance. I stood with the others at the end and saw what they had painted, and felt a huge stirring within me. And when the tutor was thanked for the workshop she had given us, I added out loud to it, that I had been to many workshops there, but few had touched me as deeply as this one. And I meant it. Its deep. And its got me.

But then, its hardly surprising, when I come home, and I'm busy painting "Wind" in the oil painting I'm working on at the moment. Now, if that's not abstract, I don't know what is!!!!! 

Musical goodbyes from the heart

I've been to a lot of funerals. Too many of them, for sure.

But part of life is dealing with death.

I haven't arranged many funerals though - only my fathers, and this one for my mum. And whatever hymns we sang that day for him would have been chosen by her. Although the song that was played at the end for him was chosen by me as being the only song he'd ever liked, to my knowledge. And it can still make me cry if I hear it played on the radio, because it reminds me of him.

But this time, I am making the decisions for the hymns, and for the music to walk into, and out from. The hymns were easy enough - there is one funeral hymn in particular that always makes me cry "Lord of all hopefulness" and I've sung it enough times at other funerals. Its part of the saying goodbye, for me, so that was my first choice this time. The other hymn is equally sad, and traditional for a funeral.

As for the walking in piece of music, it has to be something by Mozart, as he was her favourite classical composer, and I've narrowed that down to one piece that seems most appropriate for this purpose.

But, it is the walking out piece of music that has given me the most problems. It had to be by her favouite singer - Frank Sinatra - but he sang so many songs it's been difficult to narrow it down. I remember various songs he sang  that were played in my childhood home whilst I was finding my own loud (!) musical interests (disco, rock, glam rock, and soul) but some of his old songs I still like to listen to when I'm feeling reflective and mellow. So revisiting them all now has been a blast from the past. But so many of them are totally inappropriate for a funeral, as they're about physical love between a man and a woman. I don't want any of those. And ideally I don't want the song the singer is most famous for. It would be ok if that was the only song, but there are so many that are more apt. It just took me a while to find them. Sifting through song lyrics and narrowing it down eventually to just three. I read them, and re-read them, looking for meanings, and every time I read one particular one, it made me cry.  I know that crying is part of the dealing with death, of the acceptance of what is, and what was, and what will no longer be. I understand that. But, these tears were for a different reason. They were happy tears. Tears for love.......... for love experienced.....for understanding love, for happy love.

And I know that when I hear it played at the funeral I shall cry.

Even though I chose it!

But it's right for her, and right as a celebration of her life, and what she was.

And the lovely thing is, that as I am ringing around my cousins - so many of them!- and they all remember her as the vibrant, attractive, fiesty woman that she was, not what she became in the last few years. And two of them told me she was their favourite aunty - which is lovely to hear. So, I've been revisiting her life through my conversations with them, which has been poignant but also refreshing, and lovely in its warm comfort. And I can hear the love they had for her. And I know the love I had for her.

So, the music is right.



Because it will make me cry.

Why is it what it's in?

They've gone. And to a very good home, where they certainly belong. But I still had a slightly sad moment when the dog pictures were collected this week. Only a bit sad though, not a gut-wrenching depression over it, you understand! I always get slightly emotionally attached to my artwork, even when I'm only creating it because someone has asked me to and I would never have considered painting it if it wasn't a commission. But, when I've put in long hours creating it, and sit back and admire it, and think with pride "Wow, I've painted that!" I can't help but be emotionally attached to it to a degree. But I also know that the painting will be loved and cherished where it's going to live, so that makes me happy too.

I was asked this week by a friend, who is not artistic, how I knew what to paint the dogs "in". Interesting question. And one what I can answer instinctively (although perhaps not too much considering that the "instinct" is based on many years experience and lots and lots of practice!). The dogs were painted in acrylic dry on dry (dry paint on a dry paper) as I had to pick up all the little nuances of colour and tone, and give the illusion of hair and fur. Its not a technique that I normally use but its just perfect for animal fur. Having said that I've painted a lot of tigers in watercolour using the wet on wet technique (wetting the paper first and pouring the paint on). That technique is lovely for creating swirling shapes and movement, and I use it a lot for the tango paintings too as it gives the illusion of movement, perfect for dancers. And I'm pretty sure when I do the illustrations for the unicorn book I shall use bright watercolours for the lovely mystical colours and shapes that add interest to fantasy paintings. And I adore using oils, although they take a lot longer, as the buttery texture merges and blends so well and the colours just flow, even though painted a different and controlled dry way they can be painted just as dots of bright colour on a contrasting colour well too. And I sometimes draw with pencil, giving lovely tonal depth to a monochrome drawing where colour can be superfluous to the overall effect. And then I sometimes use pastel or chalk to create chunks of colour in a figure drawing, utilising a fine point of the same colour for the details where they are needed. And when I want to be finely detailed in a picture of buildings, pen and ink is perfect for it. And then there's the joy of using mixed media, and just using whatever is at hand to make interesting textures and create movement and vibrancy in a painting (and usually getting very messy in the process, what joy!!). So, some subjects lend themselves to certain mediums. So, that's how I knew what to paint the dogs in - acrylics. Of course, if someone wanted a particular piece of artwork painted in oils instead of watercolour, or acrylics instead of pastel, then that's what I'd do. Its not that difficult to use something else, and it will certainly give a different effect by using differing mediums. And that's why I'm interested in the effect I'm getting painting over the acrylic painting I did three years ago, but in oils now. The tones are far more subtle for flesh and skin and the painting is so much better for the change. I'm working on the faffy bits now - the tiny details that make or break a painting. The toes, the colour under the arm, the sharpness of focus around the nipple, and particularly the hair. I want the hair to be soft and flowing, the sort you want to run your hands through.....

This is the painting I'm talking about at the moment. It looks so different to this now, already. And I've got some more work to do on it. Count this as the skelton to the finished painting - the same design, but filled out more. I don't even like the original title for it now, and will think of something more fitting for it.

And today I most definitely feel a colour. Do you ever feel a colour? Today my colour is gold with facets of lime green, and with sparks of bright cream coming off it. Yep, most definitely!