Just a bit too good

The watercolour finished, viewed from every which way I could think of, tweaked and adjusted so that I was happy with it, I rang the client to say it was completed. We agreed a date and time for him to come and collect it and I got on with the next painting on my to do list....

He arrived on time, and seemed quietly happy with the painting. Well he had a big grin on his face. I think it had taken him back abit to see himself depicted in a painting. I smiled in understanding, I've seen that reaction before. I know he will spend the next few days looking and looking and looking at it until he grows to know it as well as his own reflection. In a way it is his reflection, but also it isn't. It's the face we all see, not the face he sees. When you look in a mirror it is by definition, and excuse me for stating the bleeding obvious, a mirror image. When you look at a painting of yourself, it's the face the rest of the world sees, and will seem a little disconcerting at first to the person whose face it is, a little out of kilter, well known, but slightly wrong somehow. But gradually, quietly, there is an acceptance that that is the "real me" and the love for it will grow accordingly.

As he was about to go I mentioned that I might put it on my blog, to show my latest painting, and asked the same question that I ask of anyone who has had their portrait painted by me, the "Are you happy with that...?" question. And he said straight away "If you don't show the face" and I laughed in understanding and said "Ah, it's too good isn't it - its too like you, that you don't want anyone down the pub taking the mickey of you posing for this naked".

 

So, here is the picture, because I want to show it as my latest artwork, because its in watercolours and they're far more difficult to do than oils, to get the nuances of tone right, as its so unforgiving a medium to adjust if anything needs adjusting.

But the face has been blanked out. And he is without name. Without age. Without geographic area.

But, I'm pretty sure that somewhere, some one is quietly sitting looking at this picture in its entirety and smiling gently to himself......

Hello, come in, take your clothes off.....

It was good to finally meet Fitzy this week after many emails back and forth and a few phone calls inbetween. I'd got a clearish few of him as a person, and a clear idea of what artwork he wanted from me, and a feeling about his thoughts regarding it. And I knew he was a little nervous at the thought of sitting for me. Its understandable!!! LOL But I try not to be too scary......... and I do know what I'm doing...........and I have had lots of experience of these matters.............. so ... I wasn't nervous, and I knew I had to allay his fears as much as I could.


Its like any new experience, the many thoughts in your head usually outweigh the reality!


So, we finally met, face to face. It was far easier for him to come to me, since I've got all my "tools of the trade" here. First tool ...... a hot drink! Tea for me!!! :) Coffee for him. And a chat, about anything really, because that communication is important for two people to get to know each other, you look at the body language, read the face, listen to the connotation in the voice, look at the eyes, and get to know about the person better. It makes for a good working relationship, for me, certainly. Because if I'm going to paint someone I like to know abit about them, it helps to be able to put that image of the person into the pose for the artwork. I'm not just creating an image, I'm looking for the essence, or soul of the person, to put that in too.....


So, on to work. Fitzy wanted three pieces of artwork doing - he loves the "Living flame" painting and wants a painting of himself done in that style. So, I needed to take photos of him to work from for the painting. It takes a long time to do that style of glazing painting, so its totally impractical to work from life for that painting. So, you would think taking photos would be easy, and it wasn't! Because I had to get the light right, and make sure I picked up the nuances of muscle tone, make sure I'd got all the detail in that I wanted.


Then on to the second piece of artwork that he wants - a Fantasy Willie painting. Infact he will be my first fantasy willie, which I'm very excited about! But because of that, I wasn't fully sure what I was looking for in the photos. With the fantasy fannies, they are abstract in shape to start with, so its easy enough to hide the image in the abstraction. But, a willie is more obvious! So, it took a few photos until I was happy with the image I'd got, and how I was going to create a painting from it! Success!!!


After a short lunch-break, it was time for the main reason for the visit - the sitting, whilst I drew him. I know he's had health problems and the very pose itself was probably going to be difficult for him. We discussed a standing pose as opposed to a sitting pose, and decided on the latter. But when I asked his thoughts on a pose, and he showed it to me, I knew from past experience that he would be in agony within five minutes from it. We discussed ideas and quickly settled on a simple seated pose, that would be comfortable for him, and would show to good effect his long legs. He also wanted a white on black drawing done, and to set up the lighting for those is a bit challenging, as I had to make sure that the light was creating interesting shapes on his skin, without lighting all of his body. This usually entails a low light off to one side, and although I have proper lights on proper stands, it turned out that the light itself had to be on a book, on a larger book, on a low stool, to create the correct lighting to satisfy me!!!! It might look very odd, but it worked!!!! LOL

On to the drawing............... I started with a blank piece of black card, and with a conte pencil in one hand, and a rubber in the other, I started. I know I'm a quick worker, but afterwards when I explained to Fitzy the thought process that had occurred through the drawing, I was surprised myself how much "thinking" I do. I first look at the pose, and work out the angles within it, I look at the blank paper and envisage those angles on it, I measure with my pencil, to make sure that the body that I'm drawing will fit on the paper (I sounds silly, but I've seen enough amateur artists miss out the feet at the bottom of the paper because they've not done this simple exercise!). Then I start to draw, to get the basic overall shape in, check the measurements again, and if need be adjust anything. Then I start to build up the body shape, gently drawing in all of it, slowly, bit by bit, until its all there, and then use the rubber to remove the parts I don't want. These are the bits that cause the interest. The pencil and the rubber working in conjunction with each other, to create the effect I want. And all this is done whilst the model sits still. And it helps enormously if the model CAN sit still. And Fitzy could, beautifully! He's a natural! So that helped greatly, that I could see the tiny details that I needed to put in the drawing to make it interesting.

Whilst all this is going on, I played my "art music" - thumping rock, bouncy pop, throbbing dance music, it all helps me to work quickly and easily and for the creative energies to flow. No music, and I'd be a lot slower!!! Fortunately Fitzy liked listening to it too, and said afterwards that it had helped him to get through the sitting, whilst he played a musical quiz in his head, as to which band was singing which song! He only needed one short break, but was able to sit long enough for me to produce this drawing. Its called "The thinker". I had originally thought that Rodins "The thinker" might be a good pose, but Fitzy thought it might be too reminiscent of Bruce Forsyth! MMM...I know what he means!!! LOL Anyway, here is the image I did of him.......

We sat chatting afterwards, about all sorts of things, and that was good to do. I know exactly how I'm going to do the paintings now and can't wait to get started on them......


Since then, Fitzy has emailed me to say a lot about his experience of being drawn by me, and is happy for me to quote some of them here:


"I was drawn to the title of one of your recent blog entries “Empowered” and it certainly was an empowering experience, but really it was so much more than that, I felt a great sense of achievement in becoming part of something that will last, well longer than me really.


I also found it a rather liberating experience as well.


.....your mention of a friend that works as a therapist, and they thought your Fantasy Fanny paintings could work well in a treatment room as a means of improving body image and perception about an intimate area of the body..... Anyway, that struck a chord with me as I have always had a very negative view of myself for all manner of reasons .... but I do feel so very positive about what I was able to achieve on Thursday and this is thanks in no small part to you. Now whether there will be any lasting benefits of course remains to be seen, but for the moment at least I really do feel very pleased and proud about what I have achieved and your drawing of me really is so much better than I could of ever hoped for, so thank you so very much for that and it was worth it at any price.

That reminds me of something I said to you a while ago when I joked about paying you thousands of pounds and do you know what, it really would have been worth it.

The day really did have such a profound effect on me and for that I will always be grateful, so thank you very much".

So, it looks like I didn't scare him, too much, and he, like my previous sitters, have found it a very positive and uplifting experience! That's good then!!!! That makes me happy.

Stuarts words

Having received Stuarts article for the local paper, and spoken to him today, I was sorry to hear that the local paper aren't happy about publishing it. Its a shame, as it made me laugh outloud in a couple of places. But, I would like to post it here - and he has given his permission for me to do so. So at least someone gets to read it!!! I write it here in its entireity:

WHAT A POSER

It was Sir Arnold Bax who said that you should try everything at least once during a lifetime, with the possible exceptions of incest and folk dancing. On December 3rd last year I took his advice.
At 2pm on that afternoon I could be found in a room sitting in an armchair clutching a book with a view of the garden through the window. To my left a log fire crackled and the strains of a Beethoven Opus could be heard.
A few feet in front of me sits a beautiful, blond haired woman.
Nothing startling there, you may think.
What is surprising, however, is the fact that I am naked. Not a stitch on. I have even removed my socks, something that few Englishmen would do only in the most extreme circumstances. Even my watch has gone but I do retain my spectacles.
You have guessed it, the blond woman is Mrs. Jackie Adshead, a professional artist, who is doing two life drawings of me. Jackie is a very versatile artist who specialises in erotic art.
What possessed me to pose nude, you may ask. A few weeks prior to this my wife and I had attended a life drawing workshop held locally. We both enjoyed the day but I have very little talent as an artist. I was, however, enthralled by the model who could adopt difficult poses and hold them for long periods. He was certainly a master of his craft. "I would like to try that", I thought as I have few hang-ups about my body.
I mentioned this to the tutor who said that she could probably find someone to give me the chance. A short time later she put me in touch with Jackie.
Initially I spoke to her on the phone and she came over as a confident and efficient woman with a sense of humour. She said that she would be pleased to fulfill my wish to be portrayed nude in the next few weeks.
On Monday December 1st Jackie rang to ask if I would be available for a sitting at her studio on the following Wednesday at 1pm. "I can certainly do that" I replied, "I have very little on that day". "A few minutes here and you will have nothing on", she chuckled.
I turned up punctually if apprehensively, for the appointment. I wondered what she would look like. I was hoping that she would be a plain, dowdy woman.
I rang the doorbell and a few seconds elapsed before the door opened to reveal a woman with remarkably blond hair and beautiful features. She was a striking looking woman, not what I wanted. I was invited in to her home where she explained what she did and showed me examples of her work. She is certainly a very good artist.
She asked me what I would like done and I requested two drawings using conte crayon on A3 paper. The poses were of me sitting, as previously indicated, and one of me lying supine on a couch. They must be explicit as I did not want a coy representation of me. After all, Newhall men don't do anything half cock!
She explained that the fact that I would be nude meant nothing to her. She could as well be looking at a milk bottle. "Thanks for that", I thought.
During this conversation my confidence grew due to Jackie's confident business like manner and friendly approach. In short, we got on very well.
When the moment of truth arrived I had no inhibitions of removing my clothing. Self confidence is not my main trait but I strode to my chair to assume the pose chosen with assurance.
It did seem strange to be sitting in a room without clothing, with a lady present. After only a few minutes I had grown so accustomed to nudity that I had to look down to confirm my state of undress. The sight of certain familiar bits and pieces assured me that I was totally exposed.
As the drawing was underway we had an interesting conversation and found that we shared several mutual interests and a similar sense of humour.
Jackie suddenly looked up and announced that the drawing was complete. Although it had taken about 1 1/2 hours the time had flown by.
At that point we had a break for a cup of tea and a leg stretch. As it was to be only a short recess I did not trouble to don any garments. My confidence was now so high that I stood talking to Jackie without any embarrassment and also took a walk down the hall to the toilet. I vividly recall hurrying back and swinging into the studio.
Jackie informed me that the second drawing would not take as long as she had got my body shape. Is the technical term the "angle of the dangle?"
On the resumption I took my supine pose on the couch making sure that the position was comfortable. Having settled myself Jackie called out, "Could you lower your right leg please? I cannot see your genitals". When I was a teenager and a regular at the "Rink" dance hall I would have been elated if a girl had made that request. Unfortunately that was over 50 years ago.
As she had prophesied this drawing only took just over the hour and the time flew by.
And so my debut as a nude model came to an end. At the age of 72. It's never too late! I had enjoyed the experience, surprisingly, but I did appreciate Jackie's efforts to make me comfortable in the role. It was a strangely liberating event for me with no feeling of vulnerability which I had expected.
The drawings are magnificent and rate amongst my most valued acquisitions. She has done the "family jewels" proud. Generally women like them very much but men are generally sniffy about them.
Incidently I met Jackie in the street a few days late and she recognised me clothed. She is also a good friend of mine now.
Stuart Haywood.

Dear Jackie....

I've had a letter from the elderly chap I drew last week saying how much he and his wife love the drawings, and thanking me. He was nervous before he met me but said that his misgivings were entirely misplaced, as my confidence, good humour, talent and friendliness assuaged all his fears! He said that he thought he would feel vulnerable once he was naked but that was not the case and at no point did he feel uncomfortable which speaks volumes for my manner. He found it a remarkable experience and one that he will never forget.

I'm touched that he has taken the time to write to me, and touched by his words.......

Good etiquette

Its an odd profession, being an Erotic Artist. I recognise it as being odd. This week for example, a man I'd never met before came to my house, and within an hour of walking through the door, he's stark naked. That's got to be odd, hasn't it? He also announced, before he got naked, that the only woman to see him naked, was his wife of 48 years. And now me. So it was a big thing for him to do. He said he felt trepidation before he arrived. I can understand that. It may be normal for me to be around naked people, but not everyone else is used to it. But after an hour of us chatting, and getting to know each other, he felt comfortable about taking his clothes off, and I politely turned away whilst he did. He settled in the seated pose we'd previously discussed, and we chatted whilst I drew him. And by the time I'd finished the drawing, he felt totally at ease, to the point that he was happily naked whilst we discussed the next pose and went straight into it. This pose was his choice, as he wanted a lying down pose. So he lay as he had envisioned the pose, and asked me what I thought of it. I said quite matter-of-factly "Well, I can't see your genitals in that position" which amused him, and he shifted his position slightly, so that I could. He sniggered about that comment, as I drew him. And I said that I had presumed that was the point of the pose, that I could see them, and draw them accordingly! And he agreed, it was! We chatted alot about many subjects, he's a very interesting man whose lived an interesting life, and likes to try new experiences, which is why he finds himself in his 70's naked in my house!

He rang me the next day to say how pleased he was with the pictures I'd done of him, and the experience of it. Which was good to hear. He said he'd been in a local shop that morning and said to the shop assistant who he knows quite well "I was in this woman's house yesterday and she said to me, 'I can't see your genitals with your leg in that position'!!! "......... Mmmm... I think he's going to be getting a lot of mileage out of this new experience! It also turns out that a very good friend of his is another artist who I know quite well, and they are going to be having dinner together with their wives before Christmas, I can imagine that over the soup he's going to be saying "I was at this woman's house the other day and she said to me.... "I can't see your g....."!!!!

Exploring to find new depths

A different model for me this week - a male one, and that means I've got to re-think the pose and how I want it to look. And the end result is another drawing that I'm not 100% happy with - it may need a bit more work doing on it and then I'll be happier with it. But sometimes a drawing is just an idea explored to see what happens. I like the lights and darks in this one and there's movement in there, a focal point, something about to happen, something that has just happened. I like the way the boot is not actually on the back of his hand but looks like it might be. I like the way he's pulling it towards him and the thought of what he is maybe going to do next.

Mmmm... perhaps I'd be happier if the picture had more passion in it..... What do you think?