Love accepted

It's a reflective time, and certainly a strange one.

People are wishing me a Happy Christmas full of good cheer and bonhomie and all I can think about is a funeral to arrange. Christmas seems a long way away.........

I open the cards that the postman brings, and am not prepared for what is there inside. A mix of  the expected "Have a Happy Christmas full of sparkle and  merriment" along with the sentiments of "So sorry to hear that you've got divorced but all the best for the future" and the "So sorry to hear the sad news about your Mum and we're thinking of you at this sad time" cards. I put them in two seperate places within the same room. To keep them apart. Happy and Sad.

Never the two shall meet.



But then, aren't they actually saying the same thing?

I think they are.

They are saying that people care, that they are thinking of me, and want to tell me so via a few words in a card. They are passing on love in various forms.

And isn't that what life is all about?

Death and illness are a huge part of life. But illness can be a terrible thing and hard to live with in the long term. Death will come to us all, its just hoping that we don’t suffer too much when we get there! We’re born, and we die, its just that we hope for some happy times inbetween – which is where love comes in. Love of life, love of things that make us happy, love of experiences and places, love of material things and less tangible ones. And love of people. That is the one that brings it all together – that is what life is ALL about.

I am ever the eternal optimist which has brought me joy, even when things are bad (like this year!) there have been lots of really good times too – it just depends on how you look at life. I avoid being around negative people as much as I can, as they will try and suck the positives out of you and bring you down to their miserable level. I look at the glass as always being “half full” rather than “half empty”. I am also a realist though – and know that you can’t have good things all the time (and how boring life would be if we did!) – but its accepting the bad and dealing with it when it arrives, but trying to avoid it the best we can in the meantime too. And looking for the silver linings in clouds as they are always there to be found.


So, a funeral is obviously a very sad time. But it is also bringing along with it the renewed bond of old friends and close cousins, uncles and aunts, and new friends too. All special in their own unique way.



Which brings me to the kindness of family and friends.
Thankyou my friends for thinking of me, I think of you in turn as I read your words, and that brings me close to you.



My Mum would have loved that.

And I do too.

Giving people what they want

Chatting with a male friend the other day, he made the comment that everything I do is sexy. "I wish" I replied and he said that as far as he was concerned, it was the case (and he's certainly known me longer than most people). So perhaps I am, I'd like to think I was (don't we all??) but he went on to say that I was "Psychoerotic" and since I was pretty sure he'd made that word up on the spur of the moment, I questioned what it meant - "Having the ability to plant the erotic in someones mind" he said. Mmmmm..... ok, interesting thought - I certainly like the description, so I'll keep it! So I've been thinking about what he said, and the thoughts appeal to me, that I have an ability to plant the erotic in someones head through my art. That's certainly what I strive to do. I like people, I like the interaction of people, I like to hint at sex, the erotic, the suggestion of pleasure.



But I can see what he means when I look at my latest drawing (done a couple of days before his comments, incidentally). I wanted to do a sexy image of a woman inviting a lover to join her. I particularly liked the idea of just a hint of interesting and intriguing bright red on an otherwise black and white image, it makes the image far sexier! The white high-lighting the skin of the woman's thighs and buttocks, as the rest of her body fades into the black background. She languidly lies back looking at the viewer, her smile an invitation to join her, as she gently raises a leg and pulls off her red panties. I loved doing the drawing, and needless to say it's called "Invitation"!!

So maybe he's right - I am psychoerotic - what do you think?

Getting turned on to drawing

The recent comments by Honoranddesire and Hornmaleuk have made me consider what people suspect happens between an artist and a model during an art session, especially when its an erotic art session. Its always the thought and question, underneath the surface isn't it? What happens when you're drawing a naked person, and you fancy them? Part of me, like most artists, considers that its a professional working relationship, like doctors, when you just happen to work with naked people, and you're trying to do a job........ but, there is the other side, when you get to know the model a bit more, and they become a personality, a friend, and then maybe a lover. But, drawing is using a different part of the brain, and I need to concentrate, arrange the composition, lighting, decide which medium I'm going to use, get my easel up, set up some rock music to paint to, make sure the model is comfortable with the pose, and is warm enough, and doesn't have a spot light shining in their eyes, isn't going to get cramp in five minutes time, whist listening with half an ear to their problems, and trying to organise them into the pose without seeming heartless to their concerns, and I'm not wearing my best clothes, I'm in old jeans and a comfortable tee shirt, so that if I spill paint down me, it won't matter. But if I'm getting ready for sex, I'd dress differently, take more care, and wear something slightly provocative in a revealing or clingy way, something that makes me feel hot, would feel calmer and would be looking for signs and giving signs, in my conversation, or gestures, or demeanour. So perhaps the model is ready for sex, because they have an empty mind, and are sitting there stark naked, but the artist isn't ready for sex because their mind is full of ideas and organising things. Mmmmm..... that's a really interesting thought.

I think we have a special relationship with our models, and they understand that too. And I've definitely had some interesting times and some very non vanilla moments whilst drawing naked models! I think as figure artists we're open to people, and the models are open to the artist, so its a potent mix to start with. Plus I also think that models are a particular type of person too - who like being naked infront of fully clothed people, who are exhibitionists (unless they are just desperate for the money and can overcome their inhibitions for financial reasons), and want to be viewed and stared at and have their sexual fantasies at the same time, so perhaps the poor artist doesn't stand a chance! (smile).

I know at the end of a drawing session I'm mentally whacked, because I've been concentrating so hard, the model is happily chatting away, and I've gone quiet, whilst I'm packing my art materials and easel away, so perhaps that's when there's a shift in the relationship, instead of the artist being in control of the model and the situation, the model is fresh and lively, mentally alert, and can take over and start to control what happens next.........

Drawing hornymaleuk again

Before meeting up with hornymaleuk again to draw him with my female model, I only had half-formed ideas in my head for poses for them, even though I had spent a lot of in-depth time beforehand considering it. I knew I couldn't formalise the ideas until I had seen the inter-reaction of the two of them together. They hadn't met before this occasion and knew virtually nothing about each other, except of their existence! And I wasn't fully sure how they would like each other as personalities. So when they met, there was probably an element of surprise for the two of them and, to enable them to get to know each other, I suggested a relaxing drink and a bit of a chat first, so they could get some social interaction before I threw them together in some compromising poses! Whilst I stood and watched how they chatted with each other, suddenly the ideas for poses came to me and I suggested the first one to them with a little trepidation......... as it involved her on her knees in front of him, whilst he sat in front of her, holding her head as she bent her head and focused on his groin area! They agreed they were both happy with that pose (Well, I knew HE would be, before I asked him!!!), so we listened to some loud pulsating rock music, as I set about drawing them......

I'd decided beforehand to use inktense crayons as I love the way I can use them as a proper crayon, therefore having the ability to draw with a sharp point, but when a wet paintbrush is painted over the top, the pigment immediately becomes like ink and gives instant coverage with enough tonal value to create a very fine light wash right up to intense depth of dark colour, which I find ideal for this sort of quick drawing.

The first drawing went well, which I was pleased about, as first drawings don't always do that, as it normally takes time to warm up and for me to get the right mind-set for figure drawing. I decided to use just one colour for this drawing, opting for a purple, as it gave me enough depth of tone needed for the image. I particularly wanted to see the lovely rounded shape of the female waist flowing down to her buttocks, the line of her back, and her right breast and nipple in profile, her right arm reaching around to lie on hornymleuk's left thigh, his left hand resting on the back of her arm, whilst his right hand rested on the back of her head, drawing her towards his groin as he watched the object of her desire and her facial expression. It was an easy pose for him to hold as an initial starter, as he's a novice to this, and I was delighted with the result which I've entitled "Getting acquainted" and that lead me on to the idea for the next pose.......

They were both happy to go for another pose, so this time it was the woman's turn for some attention.... This situation featured her lying on her back with her head thrown back in rapture, as he kneels below her, his face leaning in between her open legs, as her left leg is nonchalantly resting on his right shoulder. His head his hidden behind her thigh, as his hands grip on her upper thigh. Since this was more of a feminine pose, I decided to use a scarlet colour and again I got enough depth of tone from the inks to give me enough detail. The female model loved this pose and kept grinning at me, as I drew her. She was getting her own back from the first pose I put her in!!! This image I've entitled "Rapture"!

Again, I was delighted with the second image I produced, and was on a roll so suggested a third pose for them! They agreed to go again, but requested a short break first, so of course I agreed, and after that, we set up the third pose, more restful than the first two - the woman lying in the man's arms, her back to his chest, her legs open to the viewer, his arms protectively around her, her right arm resting on his thigh, her left arm reaching back to caress his neck. The image of two lovers at ease with each other, complete and replete. I used three colours for this image - black, blue and magenta - as I wanted to utilise a masculine colour and a feminine one, and to pull the diverse colours together, as the couple cuddle entwined together, the colours merging where their body's touch. I was reasonably happy with this picture but needed to do more work on it afterwards to get the right depth of colour for me to be happier with the picture. I've called it "Lover of mine". I know its not fully finished, but doing three drawings within a shortish space of time, was quite an achievement! I tend to consider my drawings an "idea" and try to capture the sentiment behind the idea as quickly as possible, being fully aware that were I to tackle the image as a full painting, an awful lot more time and detail would be utilized to give a far better working image. And before you start peering too closely at the man's visage, the features are hazy and are not hornymaleuk's, but a generic male face, to add interest to the picture.

So, a very successful first session with hornymaleuk and the female model together. They've both told me they're keen to do it again, so I hope that we can arrange that at some future point. I wasn't sure if he would enjoy the experience of posing, as I know it can be hard work, but he kept the poses beautifully as I drew the two of them, so he seems to be a natural!!

And as a post script to this tale, I must admit to a frisson of wicked amusement, and a huge inward grin, during the evening, to listen to the pair of them chatting with each other as I drew them in compromising positions, especially whilst he had his head between her open legs as she told him rude jokes.............!