Stepping in the right direction

Now I've got the internet back I thought I'd be doing dedicated blogging on an almost daily basis - but instead I find I've gone a number of days without turning my hand and head to blogging. But that is mostly the fault of that addictive of communicational things - Facebook. I'm hooked! I love it! It's great to catch up with friends again, and see what they're up to, and lovely to hear from them too! I'm back in the world, and I love it!

And I've started a drawing, too. Not an erotic one, a townscape. I can't say I'm hugely excited by it, but the discipline of straight lines, vertical lines, vanishing points, compositions and tonal values through texture and cross-hatching in pen on cartridge paper is absorbing, and will get me back into the mind-set of producing technical art before I start on the fun stuff again - the EROTIC stuff! Far more interesting!!!

As well as that I've been working on an updated artist statement - which is basically an article saying who I am, what my art is about, how I produce it and what my motives and inspirations are. Keeping it succinct and interesting is the main thing, so I know it'll take a bit of fine tuning before I'm happy with it.

I've also had the usual batch of interesting conversations this week, with interesting people. Some fleeting aquaintances met in a bar, some more solid in my life. The fleeting aquaintances tend to say things that amuse me. But perhaps that's because they find me amusing too - for instance the man who playfully slapped my bum as he told me "You're a VERY naughty girl, aren't you Jackie!" to which I just grinned and didn't bother to argue with him. If that is how an Erotic Artist is perceived, then so be it.  Having said that, his girlfriend painted pictures of sheep, so perhaps it was a step too far for him!!!

I've also had an indepth conversation with my usual male model who has decided he is mentally and physically ready to pose for me along with one or two female models. This is, I know, a big step for him, and I deeply appreciate that he is happy and trusting of my artistic decisions and professional manner. Now, that is going to be interesting to set up. It's finding the right female models to pose with him, that's going to be a little tricky. But, not impossible! And just think of the artwork!!! Mmm..... very tasty!


And I think all of this has reminded me of a  very useful lesson to learn in life -

"Don't worry, it's only kinky the first time............"  

Yep, that's a useful one to learn!!! I'll tell him, when I see him next.... LOL

Having my cake with the nude boys

Eating cake with friends is a nice occupation. But it adds a frisson of amusement to all concerned when you know that you've seen them in the nude before. It amuses them too, to know that that is the case. And I suppose it's twice the fun when you introduce them to each other, clothed, and in public, and they know they share a common factor. The nudity. And the fact they've posed for me and I've drawn them. A common bond.

(And its for you to decide whether the fact that it was lemon drizzle cake was of importance to the proceedings. Either for the lemon. OR the drizzle! LOL )

But, it's all quite normal for me!

And nice that they both turned up for the exhibition I was part of over the weekend.

It was good to be part of such a diverse art group and interesting to see what  the others had painted - wild animals, pretty flowers, and verdant landscapes.

And then there was MY stuff.

A selection of nakedness, bright colours, surreal landscapes and spiritual forces!!!

Including this one - the Stonehenge picture was finished in the week, and I'm happy with parts of it, but am undecided about some of it. I think it may be improved by being re-painted in oils. That way the colours of the unseen energies could be depicted in slightly more subtle tones. Having said that, I love the way the clouds have created their own mystery within their formation. But that was because I started with the poured on paint on wet paper that I love so much. It creates its own magical shapes within the paint and I use that as the basis for the rest of the painting. I like the way the light is shining around the stones, and I've painted them in dark forbidding tones to give the feeling of strength and solidity within them. They are firmly anchored to the ground, and make a nice contrast to the lighter clouds above. The watercolour painting is called "Awakening the unified energies" and shows the power that still lies within Stonehenge. Power to conjour the unseen energies, felt deep within them, lying dormant, awaiting their summons.................

Stuart wrote to me after the exhibiton to say how much he enjoyed it, and enjoyed seeing me again which I thought was very sweet of him. He says posing for me has given him more confidence than he's ever had. And I'm delighted that he feels that freedom from the art. It's freed his spirit.

Or perhaps it was the cake that did it................. :)

Letters sent from the heart

As I had expected I had a missive from Stuart this week describing his feelings about our drawing session the other day and his thoughts about the next one.... the salient points are here.....

Dear Jackie     Thankyou for the beautiful drawings you created yesterday. It was an enjoyable and interesting afternoon if rather arduous. I did not realise how exhausting posing can be. I suppose that, at my age, my stamina is not what it was. Well I am a septinagenarian......Next week I would like to concentrate on the pose concerning long johns....as this will probably be my last as a top model, I would like to make it memorable and amusing......thank you for your diligence in this matter. For me it has been a wonderful experience. I find you the most easy person to get on with making so easy the removal of clothes.    Love Stuart.  


And this followed on from an email I had this week from my usual male model who also felt the need to extol my virtues after our last drawing session...

Good morning Jackie and thank you for another wonderful drawing!!


It just makes my head spin!!!

Once again I must thank you for the fabulous emotions the picture evokes, especially on a personal level. Our meetings are so wonderfully relaxing and I always look forward to them, excited about the drawing but also to share some time with you. I wonder how the Mona Lisa felt to see her painting? The knowledge that it is you in the picture is a tremendously powerful emotion. For a normally quiet and modest person, it is a huge sense of achievement to stand before you, the focus of your attention. For such a wonderfully skilled artist to spend time with me and to be a small part of your work is such a priveledge. I enjoy every moment. When others see the pictures you have created, they see a male form, beautifully drawn and certainly there is that warmth about them - the 'feminine touch' as you said. I wonder what they see? Powerful images certainly. Do they see me as the generally reserved kind of chap that I am, or because I am naked, do they see a more brazen type of character, eager to show his 'bits'? No matter how often I look, I think they see the real me ... the drawings are so tender that there is that sense of quiet allure about them, all things showing or not.


This drawing, perhaps more than the others (because of their more explicit nature), would stand well in any gallery and it makes me immensely proud to think that it could be seen in a public gallery without any problem at all. Proud because of the quality of the work (you really should see some of the poor efforts I have seen about my travels) but especially proud of the moments we shared creating the work. Somehow "Thank you" doesn't seem enough.

I am sure I will see you soon for another drawing and I look forward to that.
K



Aw, I'm really touched by both of these letters. I sometimes forget what I do for other people when I do a drawing of them. Here I am reminded, and deeply touched at their kind words.

Revealing the importance of the craving

Its been a while since I drew my male model but we were finally able to get together this week for another drawing session.

After our usual initial cup of hot sweet tea and chat about any updates in our lives we were ready to start. I made sure the room was warm enough as this week has been particuarly cold. So, fire lit, easel set up with paper and drawing implements to hand and we're ready to go.

He asked me what pose I had in mind, and I eyed his shirt and stated that a pose with his shirt partly un-buttoned might be a good idea. He started to unbutton it, and then on the spur of the moment we decided between us that his undone jeans might be a better idea. Ok, then, undone jeans. And that led to him taking off his underpants since they were "in the way" and that is how I ended up drawing him with his jeans half off, and no shirt at all!!!! LOL

We chatted as I drew him, the background beat of "Bad Company" in the background adding to the artistic flourishes (I DO like Paul Rogers!). And as I drew him, he stated that on the way to my house he'd had a thought  and a grin to himself that within an hour of coming to see me he'd be naked in my company. And said that he wished various other women in his past life had asked him to do that too!!!! He made me laff with that comment. But, joking aside, we both know its not sexual, its just.................well..........art!

The drawing went well and I was happy with it when it was finished. We both stood contemplating it afterwards and he made the comment "There is no better compliment than someone drawing you" and I thought about his words. I suppose I'm so used to doing it that I sometimes forget. That to be looked at, and for the artist to take what they see and use their talents to enhance and create a work of art from it, taking the essence of what they are, and adding it to the essence of what you are, to make a third being - a piece of ART is such a special thing. I sometimes underestimate the importance of it. But, no one else in my life seems to. They all KNOW.

The drawing, after due deliberation,  is entitled "Reveal the craving". the craving is both within the man in the drawing, and the viewer themselves. His left arm is hidden infront of him so the viewer can only guess at his craving, but the fact that he is gently dropping his jeans shows us that he wants to interact with us. And certainly, I think that those peachy male buttocks are certainly creating a craving within the viewer too! MMmmm...... :) 

Fully satiated

Sometimes it's difficult to make arrangements to have a drawing session with a model, it's like any other business arrangement, where you have to find compatible days and times to suit both parties. But once done, its easy to keep to that arrangement. But also it has to be borne in mind that sometimes the model might be expecting business calls of their own, and might want to keep their mobile switched on during the time they are with me. It's not a problem......... we can work around it.

Since the last three drawings I've done of him are telling part of a story, I wanted to carry on that aspect of the series. The first drawing "Opening gambit" shows a man offering himself with no complications, relaxed and at ease. The second drawing "Feel the need" shows him lying on a settee, still relaxed but with his hand lying on his upper thigh, the need within him rising. Which leads to the third drawing "Caught in the act" as he is half turned away from the viewer, as he starts to masturbate, the need within him quite obvious. The amount of interaction with the viewer for them to decide.  So...............how to depict the fourth drawing? I discussed my thoughts with my model. The most OBVIOUS pose would be to show him at the point of orgasm, with nothing left to the imagination, but I thought that that in a way would coarsen the series. I didn't need to draw the most obvious pose, I could do it in a far more subtle way - at the point when he has already achieved his orgasm, whether or not he was on his own (and that is for the viewer to decide how much they have interacted with him............). And to show him lying face down on a rumpled bed, the hint of a dint in the pillow next to him of maybe where another has just lain............. that would complete the series in a far better way. Of course, the picture on its own just looks like a man sleeping, and that in itself is a nice enough image.

So, the pose was easy, the model was happy, as he could just lie down and try not to fall asleep (the snoring might have put me off!! Ha ha!). It took me a few minutes to sort out the lighting so that I was happy with the effect, then we're off - a simple pose, but saying a lot when viewed with the other drawings. We settled down to the drawing, chatting, and sharing the same humour helps, listening to music, and the odd tutting from me as I try to get the lines to look right on the page. I'm never aware I make noises until someone in the room comments on my sighing, tutting, or gently cursing!

The picture progresses, and I'm happy. I'd almost finished it when his phone rang. He apologised as he answered it but I knew he'd been expecting a business call, and I was more than happy to immediately turn off the loud music, and to keep quiet as he answered his call. Perhaps it's my wicked sense of humour, but it amused me GREATLY that I had a stark naked man in my room having a serious conversation with someone who hadn't got a CLUE what was happening  at this end as they discussed business matters. Oh the joy of mobile phones. And that made me wonder how many people I'd spoken to in the past who might have been doing something equally naughty and I hadn't got a clue at the time! LOL

Back to the pose after the call had ended, and I'm pleased with the way its gone. The light catches the body well, at shoulder and hip. His face is hidden, the front of his body is hidden, but he is in repose, and the image tells the story I wanted it to, with subtlety. I've called it "Satiated" as I think that sums it up well and shows he has done more than *just* sleep.  I love the way the dark areas around the body tell enough of the story, the lost and found edges that make the picture look more appealing. And I think it's a fitting end to the series of drawings............

Caught in the act

The last two drawings I've done of my male model have begun to tell a story, so I wanted to explore the natural progression in my next drawing of him.

He arrived on a bright but very cold day, snow was still lying on the ground and everything felt chilled. After our usual cup of  hot sweet tea and lively chat we discussed the pose. I knew I was asking more of him than he might have been happy with, but we discussed it in detail and he agreed that he was happy to pose in the manner I described. Neither of us were embarrased about it. But why should we be - it was a natural pose, for a lot of people..........

There was only one disappointment to start with, and that was that I had to cut out the lovely natural golden sunlight flooding through the window. I know from past experiences that if I had started drawing with the low level winter sun streaming through the window, it was going to fade fast and the light caressing the model would have gone with it. So, curtains firmly drawn, and the artificial light had to be arranged, and then manoevered for best effect.

The pose was set up, and I walked around him looking intently this way and that to decide which angle looked best, then I was ready to start! Bad Company blasting out of the cd player, and we're off!!!

The drawing went well, we chatted, and the warmth of the fire kept him warm on this cold day. We talked of many things, and there was an ease between us. He's told me before that he finds it very comfortable to be naked in my company and I take that as a huge compliment, as he's never posed for anyone else before and says he's not sure that he would want to. It shows the rapport we have, and I'm greatly touched by it.

I worked hard, and got to the point where the picture was finished, almost, except for the face, and I tried again and again to decide how I wanted to depict the facial expression, and then it dawned on me! It doesn't need one. You know what he'd doing. You know if you like it, or not. You know if he's looking at you, and is giving you an invitation, maybe, to join him. I don't need to draw the face, because you KNOW what is on his face already.

So, here's the drawing. You look at first and see a man, you admire the way the light shines on  his firm bottom and shapely legs. You see that he is turned away from you and notice his right arm is loose by his side. Then you look further and see his other hand, and see what he is doing, and see the movement of the muscle in his left leg, and the way the foot is slightly raised, as if he is about to turn, and face you. And you know EXACTLY what look is on his face................. especially when you find out the drawing  is called "Caught in the act". But you add the next part yourself, of what happens next, because that is what the picture is all about.......


When I'd finished it, and showed it to the model, he was as delighted with it as I was. I know he feels the same way as I do about doing these drawings, its not about sex, even though that is what he is depicting in this picture - its about the art, and the creation of it. We both stood there, looking at the finished drawing, that had only existed for a few hours. Both mute with understanding of what it stood for. It was "him" but not the view he has of himself. It was an art form, a creation, a sensuous piece of work, that depicted a man in an erotic pose. And I had created it, from a blank piece of paper, of him, as he stood infront of me. I didn't draw everything I saw, I made conscious decisions about what to put in, what to leave out, what to enhance, and that all went together to make the piece of art.


Later on, he emailed me to thank me for the day....

Jackie, thanks again for another fabulous drawing and a wonderful experience. I am amazed at how natural, comfortable and at ease I am being naked in front of you and always humbled by the dedication in your work, knowing it is me on the canvas. It sparks so many emotions and strangely for what the images are supposed to portray, sex is not one of them! It is an overall feeling of well-being, being human and it always feels 'right'. Thank you.

I am absolutely delighted with the drawing and thank you so much for the wonderful feelings this one (and the others) create for me. I am still in awe that someone of your ability takes the time to make me feel so welcome and is prepared to use me as a model; after all I am just an ordinary guy. I cannot find words to describe how incredibly humbling I find the experience and yet it somehow inspires something inside to do with personal achievement and knowing more about yourself.It certainly feeds
my spirit too and the 'high' posing gives is unlike anything I have ever experienced - whether it is the overcoming of nerves or perhaps doing something we are conditioned to think of as being naughty ..... whatever it is, I thank you.

Jackie, I would be honoured for you to use any of my comments - they are heartfelt and warm with the deepest admiration for your abilities as an artist and as someone I trust explicitly. The care you take to make sure I am ok with the pose, the surity of what you are creating - everything comes together to make me feel safe in your hands (so to speak!!).

Aw, now I'm humbled as well.............

Looking back - and forward

Well it's been a funny sort of year - certainly art-wise I've not done as much as I'd have liked and yet when I look back I have actually achieved an awful  lot - I've continued with the Fantasy Fannies abstracts, painting more of the brightly coloured and highly popular Queyntes and Tarses in acrylics. That in turn led on to the innovative "Living flame" style of painting - translucent colours glazed over each other creating pretty colours to dramatic effect. As well as that I explored  making other abstracts, playing with colour and shape and creating fabulously exciting  paintings like "Interplay", "Wishful thinking", "Camouflage" and "Black jacket".

The "Fantasy Fannies" were also featured very favourably  in Jade magazine which helped to raise their profile as did the radio interview I did at Erotica.

I've also done the "S & M" watercolour painting - hiding the initials within the landscape, so only the people in the know know its there - I really enjoy hiding jokes and secret messages within my paintings and the people who commission them love the joke of it too - the ultimate conversation piece on your wall!

I've been told that I have a reassuringly friendly and professional way of drawing people that puts them at their ease, so that first time nude sitters feel relaxed and comfortable in my company - and the experience is not at *all* as scary as they expected!!!! That's good to hear, then!!!! LOL

I've sold paintings to USA and Canada, and exhibited at Erotica at Olympia, London, for the second year running and feel more established there as an exhibitor. It's hard work, but good fun, and I want to do more art fairs next year as I haven't yet found a gallery that I like the look of to sell my work, and who, equally, likes the look of me. Perhaps I need to go to London to seek my fortune in that direction.................like Dick Whittington ........and his cat! :)

I'm still busy with the local art group that I'm connected with, as well as the Guild of Erotic Artists, and get a lot of help, advice, networking, support and satisfaction from being connected with them. Through them I meet lots of artists and photographers and people generally interested in art and the creative spirit, and that helps in turn to feed mine. Plus, I get some intriging conversations, usually of a very non vanilla subject matter!! :)

I've met some interesting people - quite a few men have offered themselves to pose for me, including one from San Francisco who occasionally comes to England on business and is very keen to be part of my creative output. And  a few others who I may be able to use at some point but the most important one was at the end of the year when  my new male model came into my life and after chatting to him for a while I felt that we could do some work together, and I'm delighted that the drawings of him I've done so far are of a high standard and I hope that it continues in that manner. The fact that he likes the same rock music as me, helps considerably!!! (if he's been a Westlife fan, I'm not so sure we could have worked together! LOL).

Stuart with his outgoing personality and desire to help was a good friend to me throughout the year, and through him I did the talk to his local writers group which in turn led to me being offered a solo exhibition at the library next summer.

And added to the interesting people, is the publicist who has recently contacted me. He doesn't live in England but did for a while, and has a lot of contacts. We've had a few preliminary conversations and I like what we've discussed so far but its very early days yet and may not be exactly what I'm lookiong for. But, if it goes the right way, and its too soon to say yet, I may be painting some very interesting and exciting erotic art next year...............watch this space! :)

So, into the new year, and I've already got a very interesting commission to do - for a male witch - a "Goddess" painting - seven heads of the same goddess, in whatever style I like, in whatever medium I like. But.......each goddess has to be recognisable. This one has got me thinking, and now Christmas is out of the way I can spend more time concentrating on it, because this is a big one and needs a lot of deep thought and focus. Also, I want to put some "magic" into the painting, somehow. As this isn't an ordinary painting. It's a special one, for a special person, for an extra-special reason, and that unique specialness should show within it. So, that makes me think that I may end up painting it twice - firstly as a practice painting to get the creative juices moving, and then as the proper one, the one when I dig into my spirit and pour it into the painting, that's when the magic appears........... and that's what I want to build on next year, making magical paintings for people. The sort that talks to your spirit, your soul, the sort that you want on your walls because its an extension of who you are.

That's what I paint.

Remembering good friends

This is the time of the year when we think of good friends, old and new, and want to wish them a happy time of good cheer...............

And it's always nice to be remembered by those we hold dear........

Today I spoke to Stuart who I drew just over a year ago and who became a good friend through the experience of it - he wished me a Happy Christmas and commented on how "perky" I sounded. He knows I've had a lot of personal problems recently, and expected me to be down, but I'd had a couple of lovely communications sent to me earlier that I couldn't be low in spirits........

The first was a beautiful poem from my new male model, he'd signed it and framed it for me and given it to me for Christmas. Such beautiful words that touch the heart in the way that poems do - the last verse being:

"The power of the artist is to create;
Images for the mind to see.
There is no greater compliment,
The image? That, is me."

How lovely is that? Gorgeous words and much treasured. I thanked him from the heart and said that the framed poem would be proudly displayed in my studio and is greatly appreciated.

The second communication was a long email from someone who really loved the two new drawings I've done of my male model - and was full of praise of the work I've done on them - he says -

"........These drawings show much more than any of your others. There is a warmth and sensitivity that to me represents a genuine friendship, a bond between model and artist. This model is a natural in your company (hard to believe this is his first drawings) and brings out the very best in your work. He trusts you implicitly and you take great pleasure in drawing him. Please do not interpret my next comment as anything other than professional, but the warmth and detail in these drawings, more than the men in your others, suggest that for a woman, this model is sexually very attractive (As a gay man he certainly is!).

......I must agree with one of your bloggers, (Blazing Scarlet) and the description is "stunning". For me, you have captured the beauty and grace of the male form, yet retained the masculinity and the physical strength of the model............"

Aw, I'm really touched that he liked them so much! But I know I put a lot of hard work and effort into them, so I'm pleased that that shows in the work itself.

And it seems that my artwork has inspired others to pick up a pencil and try their hand at art - someone who likes my abstracts wants to see what they can do in turn....so the art flows on into others, a wonderful gift!

And added to that I've received a very welcome present today from across the seas from someone who has bought art from me in the past, and who I know values greatly the artwork I do, and that makes it all the more special too.


So, thankyou to the people who value my art and the work I do. And who take the time to tell me about it. I always appreciate it.

And thankyou to you for reading my words and the comments you make - some to my face, some by private email, and some here on the blog.

So I'll take this opportunity to wish a Happy Christmas to you and yours and may the spirit of the season gladden your hearts as you celebrate with those closest to you and think of friends near and far...................

Feeling the need

The second time he took his clothes off for me he was far more relaxed. He'd enjoyed the first experience so much that he told me he'd found a new hobby! He found the experience of sitting naked in my company to be liberating, and thoroughly enjoyable he said, but I wasn't to think that he would do it for just ANYBODY - it was something he was happy to keep for me alone. And I was very touched by that sentiment. Because I know its not easy. And he's not done it before for anyone else.

I don't think I could do it, and sit still for that time, and I'd  be sure to get an itch or feel a draught. So because of that I'm aware of my models needs, of making sure they feel happy and relaxed and enjoy the experience as much as possible. It's in my interests to do so - because a happy model will sit still for as long as I need them to. But its more than that too - its having a rapport with the model. Since you're sitting in the same room together, albeit one of you naked and the other one drawing the nakedness. It helps if you actually like each other. It doesn't have to be a stony silence. It doesn't have to be clinical and detached. Its better for me if I feel relaxed, and at ease too. A happy artist makes happy art. So, if there's a bit of chit-chat that's nice as well.  If there's some music to help me draw that helps too. If its got a good beat to it, that helps  enormously for me. If the model likes the same music, then that improves the whole thing. And when the model announces after listening to Bryan Adams that it was ok but what he really likes is Paul Rogers then that makes me a VERY happy bunny!!!!!! YAY!!!! We like the same music! And added to all that, it helps if you have a similar sense of humour. Something to smile about, and share the smile together. And having an ease of personalites helps too .............So when you're hesitating over the pose and you're not quite sure how to voice your concerns and the model says "Do you want me to move my cock, Jackie?" that helps a lot too!!!!! :)

The pose this time was a nice relaxed diagonal one, with the model semi lying on a sofa. His weight resting on his left arm, one leg slightly curled under him, his right hand lying on his upper thigh, his face turned to the viewer but the expression enigmatic. He is certainly aware of the viewer. But then you find that the title of the drawing is "Feel the need" and you think "What need would that be then?" and you look a little closer and realise that its that right hand that's about to do something. But what? What need is rising within him? MMmmmm....?

Bearing flowers

He arrived bearing flowers. Beautiful white roses. As he walked through the door he kissed me, a peck on the cheek. There was an understanding between us.....

An easiness pervaded  the room as we chatted and I made him tea. But we both knew he wasn't here for the chat or the tea. There was a more pressing reason. One that couln't be denied or delayed any longer.

It was time.

I lead him into the other room. He looked around and knew what was expected of him. I described my desires and he nodded in agreement.

I turned away and by the time I had turned back, he was naked. And ready. And waiting for me.

But I knew it was his first time, and I wanted to make it as easy as I could for him.

I looked at him for a while before I made a move, then I raised my right hand and gently caressed the paper infront of me with the pencil. The first mark was the start, and I carried on, my hand moving over the paper, my eyes moving between the real him and the one I was creating on the paper infront of me. We still chatted, and the easiness was still there between us. And at the end, he stood and looked at what I had created and he was greatly moved by it and told me so. Because his perceived view of himself was not the one I had drawn. But I had only drawn what I had seen. And told him so. He said he had wanted to be drawn for some time, and wanted to see how the world views him. I've heard this said before. And I know he had searched for a while before he found me. But he said he knew he had made the right decision in choosing me. And I'm glad he did, because I think we will work together again. We both enjoyed each others company and I liked the ease between us.

The fact he likes rock and particularly AC/DC helps though! LOL

This drawing is my first of him, but hopefully not my last. He thoroughly enjoyed the experience, and thanked me for making it so pleasant for him. And is certainly keen to try it again. So I obviously didn't scare him too much on his first experience of life drawing.

And here it is, the drawing. I love doing these white on black images and find them far more sensual because of the effect they create. Its called "Opening gambit" because I feel there is more on offer that may appear at first glance. A naked man. A relaxed pose. But on closer inspection there is a glint of something ......................... a piercing.