The smell of the greasepaint

My friend the local historian, Stuart, rang me this morning. We chat regularly, every couple of weeks or so about things in general, flowers in particular, and any snippets of news either of us have. He's featured in the local paper next week and wanted to tell me about it, and also wanted to inquire whether I'd be interested in accompanying him at a talk he's been sort of asked to do (but it needs confirmation, it's only a verbal request at the moment) to a local ladies group "sometime next year". It's only for half an hour, and he will talk for half of it, and I could do the other half - like we did a couple of years ago when he did the talk about posing for me, and I accompanied him to tell the group a little more about myself. It's our double act! I said I'd more happy to do it again, whenever the "sometime next year" actually is.

He asked me what I'd been up to, and I told him about updating my new website, which is being created as I speak, although its all behind the scenes stuff at the moment, and not live. I'm enjoying doing it with my webmaster, tweaking and creating, designing and fine tuning.

And the rest of the day has been finishing off a watercolour painting that I'm hoping to exhibit soonish, at the end of August. I finished it off, and started another one, as I was in the momentum of it, and had the fresh idea for the next one forming away as I completed the first. I like it when that happens, it means I'm in the mental flow of it. I won't show the finished one to you yet, but I'll wait until the other one is completed and show them together. They're both the same subject matter, just different aspects of it, done in different styles.  And I'll be interested to know which you like the best.......

Right, now I need to go and wash my hands, which have blue acrylic down two of the nails, and somehow, I've got it in my hair as well, and I didn't even know until my man pointed it out to me when he saw me at the end of the day. That show's its been a good painting day! When I've got so excited and passionate about it, I didn't even know how or when I managed to smear it on me as well as the canvas!!!

Going up in the world

I had a real good painting session yesterday on the Royal Crescent of Bath painting that is my current commission. It's taking longer than a painting would normally do, but that's because of two reasons, which together make a larger practical problem. Firstly, its in oils, so its taking ages to dry between stages, and secondly, its a block canvas, which means that I can't keep it vertical AND stand it on a surface if all of the sides are wet with drying oil paint. So, you would think, put the canvas horizontal then, and that would be the logical answer. Except that's not how you paint pictures. If they are painted lying flat on a horizontal surface the verticals in the picture get lengthened to compensate the eye. Painting it on the vertical, or at least a strong diagonal will help to view it better for painting. But, a picture isn't viewed from close up, its viewed from a few feet away, so the artist should always stand back a bit every so often to make sure that it looks good still from that distance away, and that the tones are right, the shapes are right, there aren't too many "coincidences" (that's where things in the foreground fit exactly into something that is in the background, like if  a cloud shape is exactly the same shape of a tree its behind,  or if a house roof in the middle of the picture ends exactly where the horizon ends, that sort of thing) and that it just "feels right" to the artist.

So, all in all, the picture has to be painted vertical, and from a distance a way. And I can't do that, because of the wet paint.....

I'd done as much as I can, up until yesterday, and I stood contemplating the picture, with a mug of tea in my hand (one of my best thinking times, whilst drinking mugs of tea!!!) and I was itching to get on to the next stage, and knowing that it might be a week or more away before I could do anything whilst the paint dried. MMm..... that's not good enough, I want to paint it NOW, whilst the momentum is there, whilst I feel like doing it, whilst I'm in the floooooowwwww....

I know!

I've got an idea!!!!

The obvious one really!

And easily remedied...

....I'll stand on a chair, whilst the painting sits on my work surface on the flat, and I can both let all four of the sides dry, because they're not being affected, and see the whole of the painting from a distance, because I was far enough above it, to see the whole picture from a distance of four feet or so away. YAY! Ingenious!

And because I was in the flow, and able to carry on with my momentum, and was playing the right sort of rock and dance music that gets me going, the painting went well, the colours were right, the paint went on thick, and fast, and now has movement within it, with the texture as well as the flashes of colour put here and there.

Who'd have thought it! My best painting aid this week, was a chair!

Explanations and updates

New friends came to visit last night to have a drink with me and my man and chat about life, generalities, specifics, people, work, families, hobbies, and all other diverse subjects, and have a bit of a laugh as well, as is usually a case of a social visit. They hadn't been to my house before, but they did know I am an artist and about the piece of art I am currently working on.   So, it was nice when they sat in my lounge, drinks in hand, and he immediately commented on my art hanging on the walls. Most of them are landscapes of one sort or another, although a couple of them are somewhat surreal. He really loved them, and said how talented I was which was very kind of him, and went on to say that his father is a watercolourist, so that made the compliment even more of one, if he had some understanding of the technicalities of painting. His favourite picture in the room was "Midnight Blue" as shown here, and he said he really loved the deep blue of the sky in it, and he nodded in smiling agreement when I said that I wanted to depict the feeling of a couple going out for a drink in Venice, and almost being able to hear the muted sound of music coming from a bar nearby (as in any music, not the one with Julie Andrews, nuns, jack boots and the goats!).

 I indicated one of my favourite pictures - Enigma -  the one of faces on a black stormy background and asked them both what they could see in it. They both looked at it, from a distance, and shrugged, as they couldn't see anything, then she said an interesting thing. She said "She's a lighthouse, and its a sea picture". I looked over to it, and tried to see what she was seeing. He could only see the faces he said. and she replied "You've got to look deeper than that, beyond the surface..." And went on to explain that the woman with the brightest face at the bottom is a lighthouse, and the others are lost at sea, and she's leading them back. Wow! I'd never looked at it like that before. And that is why I love this picture, because other people see such diverse things within the art. Things that I never intended, but they see them as clear as anything. How wonderful!!!

We spent a pleasant evening, and it was only after they were about to go when she said "I want to see the picture!!!!" and I knew she meant the one I'm currently working on - of the Royal Crescent in Bath with the spiritual, surreal, abstracty feel to it, and limited colour scheme. I took her to my studio and she and he stood before the picture, and the smell of oils and turps filled their nostrils as the room is rank with it. They stood in quiet contemplation of it, as I explained the thoughts behind it, whilst trying to keep my fingers off it, as its still wet and drying slowly, as oils do. They loved it, and could see how it was evolving, and how the picture is developing. I need to make it more dramatic though, and lighten the whites, and darken the darks. It also needs more movement within the picture, as it is depicting a windy day, and it needs more leaves blowing around in it, and more depth of interest in the grassy areas. But, I'm really pleased with the way its going. It's just that I can't work on it as fast as I'd like, as I have to wait for bits to dry before I can work on the next stage. Not helped by the fact that it's a block canvas and each of the four sides have to be painted as confidently and completely as the front of it. But, I think its going to be a good one.... its going that way!

Searching for secrets

After yet another forced delay, I've got back to the painting I've been working on for a couple of weeks now.

The erotic abstract that looks just like an abstract, unless you know where to look.

I've taken the original full image and drawn it out as a simple line drawing and it's obvious what it is.

I've taken that drawing and hidden the lines of the form within the tones of light and dark, and its less obvious as it what it is.

I've taken that image and drawn it as a black and white image, colouring in the shapes with greys,and its far less obvious again, as it what it is.

I've taken that image and done a couple of small paintings with full colour in the design and I think the image is hidden enough.

Its so hidden that even I am having difficulty working out some of it! LOL

So, I think I might have a little wager with you, when its done. To see what you can see in it.............

Like an old familiar lover

I fall into its arms like an old familiar lover
I've missed it so.
A few days away from it and my heart aches to touch it,
to feel it again under my finger tips.

It waits, in silence, slumbering but not asleep.
Waiting, and longing, to be touched again.
And I return, knowing it is calling me.
And I have to heed its call.

To reach out to its heart,
and join mine to it.
I stare at its beauty
and know I am bewitched.

But there is more.
More to add.
More to flow between us.
The magic is still there.

Pulling.




.............. I've worked late into the night on it, this watercolour of the goddess painting. And I'm pleased with the way its flowing. There will be more to add when I next work on it, but sometimes I have to be away from it to get my next piece of inspiration. And that certainly seems to have worked this time - as its created poetry in me too!!!! For the first time ever!

Powerful stuff.

And start again

I've been working on the erotic couple in the living flame style of painting all week, solidly. It took me ages to find a pose I was happy with, and then I drew it out, and checked that I was happy with the drawing. Started the painting................ was happy with the way it was going, worked long hours on it, and then when it was almost done, I took a break, stood back.............. and started seeing the things I wasn't happy with........... the woman's arm was too thick, the colours were too strong, her head wasn't right, the hair was too dark, his hand didn't look right, his bum didn't look right. There were some good bits, but too many bad bits for me to work around. Nothing else for it................I'd have to start again. Sigh.

So, again I started looking at other images, but there was nothing I liked as much as the image I'd got. Ok, then. Start again with the image and make it so that you DO like it, before starting the painting. And that's what I did. And made sure I was happy with it before starting the painting. And made sure the colours started off pale so that they could build up in the subtle way that they are supposed to. And you know what? It looks SOOOoooo much better than the original one, already! But that's the way it goes sometimes - that the first painting has the thought processes in it, but the second one is the better one, the one that has the problems dealt with, so all I need to think about is the painting. So much better!!!! its flowing..... and that's how it should be...........................F.............L......................O.....................................................................W

Its all in the mind

Since Fitzy and I discussed the "living flame" style of picture I'm going to paint of him I've been itching to get started on it, and thought it would be easy enough since I've already done one, and done it only a few months ago, so the technique of it is still fresh in my head. I know I have to keep the colours fresh and alive and keep it all subtle. Easy enough, I would have thought, although there is always a lot to think about to produce a picture no matter what is involved in it. And this is the working painting, as the finished piece is going on a larger canvas, so I'm painting the working painting on board to make sure I'm happy with it, and then will transfer the finished piece onto the larger canvas. It means painting the picture twice, but I want to put the "thinking" into the first painting and the "doing" into the second, which means the finished piece will be better and not look overworked. It'll keep it fresh and alive.

So, to start work, I've drawn it out, and am happy that I've got a good likeness, so all I have to do now is colour it in. Ok. Easy enough you would think.............. and yet it isn't! I need to think where the light is coming from, I need to look at the tone, and I need to portray the form within the painting. And I've got the original "Living flame" image to look at to replicate the effect in Fitzys painting. Right, music on, and start..................................

............................... and I worked on it all day......... but, for some reason, it didn't flow................. that lovely time when the whole aspect of painting it F...L...O....O.....O....W......W........S. It just didn't happen. It might be due to the fact that it rained all day and the world looked grey and wet and miserable, maybe the ions weren't right in the air, maybe it was the fact that I had a few interruptions and couldn't fully concentrate on it, maybe I wasn't happy with the music I was playing, maybe I was out of kilter with my energies, or maybe I just needed to start with a working painting for the working painting! LOL

This has happened to me before, though. Not often, but enough for me to know how to deal with it.

I don't get uptight, depressed or annoyed over it. There's no point. I don't think that I've wasted all that time and not got a good picture at the end of it. I know it for what it is. It is the thought process at work. And I did the best I could with those thoughts and made a painting. Its an "ok" painting. But............. I know I CAN do better. A lot better. I can change the colours slightly, tighten up the tones and form, and move the colours to create better effect. So I'll do it again. And the next one will be better, because I've already had the initial thoughts for the painting, and the next time these will be extra thoughts, and they will be more positive, upbeat and forthright, and they will be more dynamic. And the choice of music will lift me, and then the painting ........................ should.............. Flooooooooooooooooooowwwww........................

All that is me

After the last blog post I've had a few further discussions with my friend regarding my art and the expectations some people have of what I do. His reply is that he is interested in my vision rather than my interpretation of some body elses. He loves my art but doesn't wish to guide me because I am the artist, not him or anyone else. He feels that the art has to come from me, my mind, and my experiences, for it to be of value. And only through what I produce is my vision revealed. So its my vision and interpretation he is looking for. He feels that if he were to tell me how to paint then it wouldn't be my picture anymore, because I'd just be just like a version of a camera. He wants my name in the corner of the painting to mean something as interpreted my me.

And sometimes I forget this - I know I have to ask someone I'm painting a picture for what they want, what colours they like or don't like, what colour scheme suits them. Some people prefer oils or watercolours, or have an idea of a size in their minds. And I want to please the person who I am hoping to sell a commission to - so it makes sense to check that they're getting what I they want! :) But after I've checked the technical details, its down to me - to my vision of what i see in my mind, given the information a buyer has given me. That is when I produce the "art" as compared to the "image".

And that's the way it is with the latest painting - another Fantasy Fanny - I've got the photos, so I've got all the details of shape and colour. I've got the technical ability, experience, and materials. So, now its down to artistic ability. And over this last weekend I started the painting. Working out the best composition, drawing out the shapes, working out the tones with the lights and darks. Working out the colour scheme to fit into the bedroom its going in (pride of place, over the bed!! no less!!!!) and then................ I look............. and I see the colours before me in the photograph. I see purples and pinks, blues and ................. I put some loud rock music on....................... and start listening to the beat, feel it move within me................. and I look at the colours again........... and start to see them emerge ..................... the pinks merging into oranges, magentas, yellow ochres...........lemon yellow, cobalt blue, pale blue, maroon, purple, sage green.......... the music carries on, building up in the studio, and in me, and the siennas appear............then bright oranges, lime greens, scarlet and turquoise.................. and this is the painting forming. And ..............This is me.............. painting it.

Balancing act

As an artist you'd think I spent most of my time painting - and yet........ I don't. Yes, I do spend a LOT of it painting or drawing but the majority of my time is actually spent doing things that are part of being an artist - updating my website, writing this blog, looking for new work, making sure people know what I do by either advertising, or telling them, or finding good ways of promoting what I do. Or buying new art materials, finding good places to buy frames, talking to gallery owners and asking for feedback re my paintings, going on art workshops or courses to learn new skills and techniques, talking to other artists, finding perspective buyers and chatting to them, answering their questions and queries, finding good places to exhibit locally, and having to steward them, having a social life that revolves around art and artists. So when a friend who dabbles in painting by copying a picture he's found in a magazine, said airily and rhetorically to me "Painting's soooooo relaxing isn't it?" he was amazed at my denial. NO IT BLOODY ISN'T!!!!! Its bloody hard work!!!! Even my holidays are spent looking at the local landscape and wondering if it would make a good backdrop for a painting - my "holiday photos" are always taken with the thought that I could use them for a painting somewhere. If I've got time to sit down and read a book, I feel that it ought to be a art reference book. My spare time should be spent going to more galleries and exhibitions than I probably do........

And yet, I painted a picture this week, and was happy with it, its exactly what I wanted it to be. But that doesn't just happen. I have to work at it. I have to THINK about it. And that in itself is tiring. At the end of a painting session I'm mentally whacked. I always say that producing a painting is nine tenths thinking about it, and one tenth painting it!

But I'm not moaning - its the way it is. I don't HAVE to do any of it. I could sit at home and watch telly all day and do fuck all art. BUT I don't........ I CHOOSE to do this!

Its been a hard day...........................I'm tired.

Rebirth

Since overpainting the "Naked desire" painting in oils the other week and being astounded at the vast and improved difference from the original acrylic painting of it, I've been wondering if there are any other paintings I've got that I can give the same treatment to. And lo and behold - there is! ...........

Early last year I painted a watercolour of a white horse in a bluebell wood, and although it was exhibited a couple of times locally, I didn't sell the painting. And looking at it now I'm not at all surprised! Its a very mediocre painting, of a mediocre subject with no depth of tone to it and nothing exciting happening within the painting. So, when I cast my eye on it last week, after looking through my dusty file of old paintings (filed under "not good enough to frame and too good to throw away") it struck me straight away what I wanted to do to it to change it. Wow. Instant idea! So, I did a little pencil thumbnail sketch , showing where the strong tones were going to be, and where I was adding the interest and got on with the painting of it. And d'you know what???? ........I think its one of the best paintings I've ever done! I'm mesmerised with the result! I can't believe how MUCH better it is from the original. Its astounded and totally amazed me! And it was me who painted it!! But just incase I was getting too carried away, and to get a second opinion, I showed it to my spiritual healer friend, since the subject matter is now two unicorns and not a single horse as before, and unicorns is very much her subject (as she's writing a book on the subject and I'm going to illustrate it for her when she's finished writing it). So, I took my new painting along to show her, unveiled it and waited for the response (and if it had been crap, she'd have definitely told me!) and she sat there, and looked at it, and looked at it and when she eventually tore her eyes away from looking at it, she announced that it was probably the best painting of mine that she'd seen. Ok, then, she likes it!!! YAY! LOL. So, we both sat there looking at it in companionable silence when she said "There's a THIRD unicorn in there" and just as she said it, I could see it too, she didn't need to point out where, it was there, if you knew where to look. HUGE WOW!!!! I've painted a "magic" picture, something with such a wonderful piece of serendipity in it, that within the paint techniques, I've inadvertently painted a secret unicorn. How wonderful is that!? (I've done it before but it was some years ago, and strangely enough that was with fantasy horses!) And even more amazingly upon the back of the hidden unicorn is a shadowy figure, possibly of a woman in medieval dress. How lovely. This morning my spiritual healer friend informed me that to her the shadowy woman is a Sylph, a beautiful and mysterious fairy-like spirit of the air. Wow again!

And you know what, the best bit is - last week through my spiritual healer friend I cleared a whole load of negativity that was forming around me, and almost immediately afterwards I started this unicorn painting and knew EXACTLY how I wanted to paint it, and how it was going to look. And it looks EXACTLY the way I envisaged it. EXACTLY. And this morning my spiritual healer friend informed me that looking at my painting has inspired her for the next part of her unicorn book. Isn't that wonderful, when creativity begets creativity, and the circle is complete.

Anyway, before you think I've lost the plot completely - look at these two paintings and see if you think the same as me - one of them has magic and a mystical feel to it, the other is ....well.... boring!

The new painting is called "Love at first sight" because the two unicorns are obviously meeting for the first time in a glade in the forest. The sunlight filters down between the trees, casting patches of light and shadow. I used mostly strong Eygpt Violet and deep Touareg Blue for the darks, and added Viridian Green and Quinacridone Gold for the interesting depth of the mid tones, and using a white and warm cream gouache for the unicorns and patches of bright light. There is a pale ethereal light around the unicorn on the right, as it trots into view, out of the light. The focal point is the unicorn on the left, since the light is pointing at it, but the trees and branches point towards the right hand unicorn too, whilst the mossy hillock with the three tree trunks in the middle of the painting is splitting up the painting, showing the distance between the unicorns, but because of the way the painting is constructed, you know they're going to go and nuzzle each other in a minute.....

And to add as a postscript - I don't know if you'll see the secret unicorn here as the image isn't of the best quality for loading onto blogger - but if you look carefully, its in the top right hand side corner of the painting.

Moon struck

I went to an art workshop yesterday. I go to them regularly and always get something from the experience. The tutors are different in their approach and subject matter but they're invariably happy to pass on tips about their painting techniques. This workshop was no different. The guy who did it though, was worried that if we didn't all follow his demonstration painting, step by step, and didn't go home with a clone of his painting, that he wasn't doing his job properly. It took quite a bit of persuasion on my part to get the point over, that whilst I could understand that the way to learn his methods was to copy them BUT for ME to ENJOY the experience, I had to put my own artistic input into it, or else I would feel TOTALLY frustrated and uncreative. I know for me to feel happy within myself I have to create, it's what I do. So, with what seemed to be against his better judgment, he let me do it......

The painting he wanted us all to copy was of a white waterfall, with a deep blue pool below it, tall brown rocks all around, bright green trees and bushes, all done on a nice sunny day with a pale blue sky. If we'd chosen a turquoisey blue sky the waterfall would have looked like it was on some tropical island, if we'd chosen a duller blue it would have looked like it was in a North American or European forest. When the guy started painting his picture, I was instantly interested in the technique, as it was done in oils, and a wet in wet approach (the wet paint is applied to a wet surface and creates a different effect because of it - particularly ideal for water effects in painting). He painted the sky, then the waterfall and pool below it, then the rocks, then added trees and bushes. But as I watched him, the thought came to me as to how I wanted to paint it, and what I wanted to add to the painting.......

So, here's my version of it, with my creative input. I painted the sky at night, and added a large moon. I painted the waterfall, and kept the colours of the pool dark, the reflected moonlight showing in the ripples of the water. This meant most of the rocks would be kept dark as the pale moonlight wouldn't highlight them, and the trees were kept dark too. But then, I needed a focal point to add interest to the painting....... and the obvious thing to me would be a unicorn, standing there pale and mysterious in the moonlight. And that was when the title of the painting came to me - "Moonstruck"! Yay, I like that, it summed the whole thing up for me. And the lovely thing about it, was that there were a lot of other people there on the workshop and everyone who stood and looked at my painting smiled broadly and said "Oh, how lovely, a unicorn!" and one person even asked me if unicorns had ever actually existed, which I thought was a lovely idea......

And then the tutor saw it, and said "Oh, Pegasus" and I explained, that no, it wasn't! Pegasus is a horse with wings, this is a unicorn, different thing altogether!

But after the workshop I had a chat with the tutor, and by then I'd seen more of his work, and realised that he was actually a very accomplished artist, who might be turning out cloned paintings for the demonstration, but was very talented in his own right with what else he could paint. I was impressed! I told him that I'm an erotic artist, and he was immediately interested in that (why am I not surprised!!!) and said he'd look at my website. I told him that normally I would be adding a naked woman or erotic couple to the type of paintings he produced, and infact want to do that at some point, there's something very erotic about waterfalls somehow. I don't know why, they just are!

And, then he showed me some more of his art and it turned out that he liked erotic art too! But was concerned that on the level he works at, that he might get complaints if he showed paintings like that.

So, I came home a very happy bunny, I'd produced a dramatic and mystical painting I was really happy with.

I'd got friends coming for dinner three hours after I got back from the workshop. And it struck me, as I chopped onions, added them to the frying pan, chose my herbs and spices, peeled mushrooms, added tomato puree, and all the delicious aromas fused together, that cooking is all part of the creative process for me too. It's a very pleasurable, sensual experience for me. My friends obviously thought so too - since they commented on how nice it all was, and wanted seconds!

So, I just need to find someone who wants to buy a unicorn painting now....................

Happy blog birthday!

Today is my first blog birthday! Yay!!! A whole year of blogging - Wow! I never realised when I first started how much I would enjoy it and what friends I would make through it.

And what a lovely way to celebrate it by finishing dj kirkby's erotic painting! And she's as delighted with it as much as I am, so that's two of us happy! Its been an interesting way of painting a picture, since all of the planning has been done by email. Its certainly been a very interesting painting to do because I had to first find out exactly what dj kirkby was thinking of when she suggested it, and that took quite a bit of time of emails back and forth as we both asked questions of each other and explored possibilities. Then I drew a few sketches and sent them to her to make sure I understood what she had described to me. She told me her thoughts. More adjustments were made, and I sent her some more detailed drawings. Again, she wanted changes and adjustments, and I found it quite a challenge to do what she had asked, but I worked though it and had a moment of pure creative brilliance (even I was impressed with it!!) and came up with the final design, and even the title for it, all within the space of one evening. Wow! And I know when that happens I'm on the right track, because the creative ideas flow and that means the painting will too. And dj kirkby was delighted with the result too - great stuff! From then, I just had to work out the colours and send her a working painting so she could see the final colours before I actually started the painting itself. And all this took a couple of months, on and off. But then, and only then, I could start the painting. But when I finally started it, I knew exactly how it was going to be laid out, the exact colours, the tones and where they would be, the interest, the artistic tricks that make the painting look interesting and as I painted it, it flowed and I could concentrate on getting the paint down and hopefully making it all pull together as a whole painting. I finished it and send a copy of it to dj kirkby and she requested a couple of final touches, which I did after checking with myself that it would add to the painting and not deter from the overall feel of it. And now its done. Finished. Another WOW! I've sat and looked at it since I've completed it, and would be very happy to have it hanging on my wall. I've put many long hours into it, both in physical design and in mental thought. Does it illustrate that? Yes it does. It's a clever painting. It both looks like an erotic couple AND it looks like a landscape. That's a huge challenge to do, but I've done it! And today's the day it's finished, born on the blog, and finished on my blog birthday! A good sign!


And cos I'm in a good mood, and I'm sure dj kirkby won't mind, I'll show you a few bits of it. You'll have to wait a while til I'll show you the whole thing, cos it was to be a secret until then. But, as a taster, here are a few poignant bits.........

I have standards you know

I saw my friend last night and amongst other things, she showed her usual interest in my latest creative outpourings and asked to see what I'd done this week. I showed her both the artwork for the erotic landscape I'm currently working on and the vanilla river scene I painted over the weekend at the workshop I attended. She really loved the river scene, particularly as I had added a unicorn on the far bank of the river and went into raptures over it. I dismissed it as an inferior piece of my work which surprised her. So I had to explain...... how can I get excited about a painting I'd done at a workshop when it was one of those step-by-step days when the tutor shows his painting, then paints part of it, for instance the sky. And we all paint the sky in the same way he has. Then he paints the hills. And we all paint the hills in the same way. Then he paints the trees etc etc and at the end of the day all the people in the room have an identical painting to take home. You might wonder why I would go on one of these workshops but I know that the painting is not actually the end product, the LEARNING is! So I learnt new ways of tackling landscapes and tips for painting BUT the picture I brought home is not something I am proud of. It can't be. Its just a mediocre painting of some other artists choice, that I have copied. The only bit of "me" that I put in it was the unicorn! I can't exhibit it. If I sell it I have to say that its not actually my work. I wouldn't be proud to admit it was mine even. The only way I can do anything with it is to go over it with pastel or acylics to radically change it so that it has my creative input in it. So I file it with the others under "learning" and get on with my proper art having learnt a new trick or two about how to tackle a certain subject matter in watercolours, and having had an enjoyable day spent with other artists.

But when I showed my friend the working painting I am currently working on for the erotic landscape, then I can get excited! REALLY excited!!!!! Its all my own work. The concept works so well. The picture is clever in that it is both an erotic couple AND a landscape. And how clever is that, to incorporate the two that they work in conjunction with each other? I've spent three months on and off thinking about it, planning it, discussing it with dj kirkby and now I'm at the point where I'm finally working out the best colours to use for it, the tones, the use of light and shade. I may have to do two, three or four working paintings before I'm happy with the end result and then, and ONLY THEN, can I start painting the actual painting. Now..... THAT'S exciting!!!

Speaking a different language

A woman rang me last week, wanting a painting doing of her house as a present for her husbands forthcoming birthday. I asked her the usual questions - what medium? watercolours? Oils? pen and ink? She didn't know. What size? She wasn't sure. Was I framing it or her? She thought she would get it framed. She asked how much it would be. I said I couldn't answer that without more idea of what she wanted exactly. She asked if it would be over £100 and I said "Yes". I asked her if she had a price range she was considering and she said "No". She said she wasn't sure what she wanted and asked me to go and visit her to see the property and give her some more idea of what was the best way of creating the picture as she knew nothing about art. I arranged to go and see her the next day. I arrived, she gave me coffee, we chatted about a lot of subjects and got on well enough, she showed me where the painting would hang and I worked out the size the painting would be to fit the area and told her its dimensions, then we went outside to look at the property and I gave my opinion on the layout and how best to capture it in a painting, as a watercolour, and described it to her, telling her what I would do to paint the picture, and suggesting ways of enhancing the image from what I could see infront of me. She listened and understood. I showed her a painting I had taken with me, of an old building in watercolour so that she could see my style and what I do (since she hadn't come to me through my website, and I knew she didn't know I was an erotic artist, I felt it better to show her a traditional painting rather than direct her to my website and probably shock her with my, er, less traditional work!!). She liked the painting I showed her. She asked how much for the painting of her house and I gave her a price. Her face immediately dropped, and she said very curtly that she'd be in touch. Ok, I said and came away. She hadn't rung me after a few days so I rang her, pleasantly, and asked if she had had further thoughts on the painting "Yes" she said "I don't want it". I asked pleasantly if it was the price that was the problem. "Yes, it is", she said. I said that I could perhaps drop the price a little for her, (since I wanted the job) but that I had asked her last week if she had a price range and she had said no she hadn't. I asked politely if she had a price range now? And she said no she hadn't and very curtly dismissed me.......



..... Ok, then what did I miss in that? Um...... nothing. I had checked with her first if she had a price range and she had said no she hadn't. She said she knew nothing of art, and would be guided by me. I gave her my considered opinion and she didn't like the end price. Why didn't she? She obviously had got a price in her head but wasn't going to tell me what it was. Was she expecting the whole job to be done for 50 quid? No..... cos she asked if it would be more than a £100 before I went to see her. She said she knew nothing about art. So that's where the problem lies - she knows nothing about the creation of art either. And there do seem to be two sorts of people in life - those who think artwork is a wonder to behold, that anyone who can paint a decent picture is wonderfully clever and anything they produce is awesome and to be "Wowwed" over. And there are the people at the opposite extreme who seem to think that art is just churned out easily and has no great worth, and can't understand that it involves a whole lot of talent, learning, practice, mental capacity, ability, time, and materials.

So, am I sorry I lost the commission? Yes, I am, I quite fancied doing the painting and would have made an excellent job of it. Ah, but would I have done the job for fifty quid? ER, no! I value myself higher than that. So I know my value.............. even if the woman doesn't value it!

Clear heads

Due to a busy week and other things getting in the way I've not been able to do much work on the second dog commission this week and the Christmas deadline's looming..... And none of this helped by the fact that I've had a stinking cold this week and felt like shit!! But, part of the joy of being self employed is that jobs have to be done for deadlines no matter how you feel! So..... today I thought I ought to at least try and get some of the painting done even if it was something easy like a bit of the background, (cos in theory I shouldn't be able to cock that up, even if I did feel way under par). So, a cup of tea in one hand, and a paintbrush in the other, I stood and looked at the painting and realised virtually straight away that I'd been going wrong in the first place by thinking that I should use gouache paint! I'd chosen it as I needed to paint virtually every hair on a hairy dog, I needed to use a medium that could paint light on dark (unlike watercolours) so had opted for gouache to do the job, but didn't like the effect I had achieved so far (I couldn't have been THAT ill then, if I could tell that straight away!), so my only option then was to use acylics as a fast drying watercolour medium that would show the gouache under-painting clearly but give a better overall result. I quickly did a glazing wash over with the acrylics and instantly felt a whole load better about the painting, to the point that within a few hours it was completely finished! Wow! I certainly hadn't expected to finish it today. And that surprised me too. Because I started painting feeling bunged up, and full of cold and not thinking straight, and ended up still bunged up and full of cold, but with a totally clear head, aware of my creativity working properly and finishing the picture and even being very proud of the end result. So, another Wow!!! Perhaps my well-being just needs to be creative to get me feeling better!!



So... here it is - the finished painting. I'm not sure what sort of dog it is - a bit of everything I think. But I'm really pleased with the painting, and hopefully the recipient will like it too ...... I think I've captured the dog nicely especially the large soulful eyes....

Letting go

I've had two emails today from recent buyers of my artwork and its poignantly reminded me again of what it's like to create a piece of artwork - either as a commission or as an exhibition piece - and to sell it to someone. If its a commission I know what I'm painting as the client has specific ideas and I just have to find out what they want and create it for them. If its a painting for an exhibition I paint something that I hope may appeal to someone, as the idea has appealed to me somehow. But either way the painting is created and either short term for commissions, or sometimes long term for exhibition pieces, the painting will be stored somewhere where I see it regularly. And I get used to seeing it, and I like looking at it, and get pleasure from it. And then, suddenly, its sold. Its gone. I don't see the original anymore. I can see a copy of it but not the real thing.......

..... and then today I get an email from the buyer of the erotic landscape of New York, the painting I've entitled "Towering passions". He came to meet me and collect the painting at the weekend and he just wanted to say a big thank you for the painting and to say that he'll miss looking at it when it goes as a Christmas present to its intended recipient! And I realised that he was going through what I did - getting pleasure from the painting being in his view for a short space of time before it went to to hang on someone else's wall full time.

And then later on today I got another email from the USA - from a fellow blogger who has recently bought another of my paintings, and who received it this week, and wrote to say thank you and to tell me she is delighted with it. Which in turn delights me. I love it when one of my paintings goes to live where it will give pleasure to the people who now own it.

And the really nice thing too is that I'm meeting some lovely people through my art and the circle continues when my art brings people to me, to commission one of my paintings, or I advertise my art and the people come to me through that .... because it turned out that I know the buyer of the erotic landscape, although I had no idea who he was when he commissioned the piece. I had no idea who he was when he walked through my door at the weekend, it was only when he told me his connection with someone I know from years ago that I realised exactly who he was!! What a joy to meet him and say hi. What a powerful pull art is, to bring people to me, and for my art to be pulled to them through the images I depict.

Why I don't watch much telly

I saw my hairdresser earlier today, we had the usual chat about what we'd both been doing recently and she went on to ask me if I'd seen various programmes on television. I smiled and said "No". I think she thought I must be a bit boring because I hadn't seen the latest blockbusters. But I went on to explain that I'm usually busy with art even at night when most people are sitting down to watch the soaps. Afterwards I thought about the jobs I've got on the go at the moment - and made a note that they are as follows:

1. New York erotic landscape oil painting to paint by Christmas.
2. Erotic landscape in oils to paint as soon as I can.
3. Dog pencil drawing to draw by Christmas.
4. I've got to write my talk for the forthcoming WI talk on being an erotic artist.
5. I've got my website to update at some point.
6. I've still got the Pussy Portraits to do, but they'll have to wait until the Christmas commissions are done.
7. I've got someone coming to see me, who wants to discuss illustrations for a book she's writing on spiritual healing.
8. I usually design and make my own Christmas cards, and haven't even started on a design yet, and its November tomorrow, which means time is ticking on.
9. Plus I'm in discussions with other people regarding other off-shoots off my artwork, and that needs to be updated on my website, when I get chance.

And that's just the main stuff. And only relates to art. But don't think that I'm moaning, because I'm certainly not! I love the fact that I'm so busy at the moment, and that I have a load of work to do, and will happily take on more commissions for Christmas if they're forthcoming. Because there's that adage that if you want a job doing, you ask a busy person, and I'll fit it in somewhere. ...........But ........if you ask me if I've seen the latest edition of your favourite soap, the answer will definitely be a resounding "NO"!!!!!!

Work in progress

I'm making progress with my two erotic landscape paintings, after what seems an interminable age of nothing happening (to me, at least!). I now have a clearer idea of what dj kirkby wants for her erotic landscape, and separate to that I have now had the initial sketch ok'd of the other painting of the New York skyline so I'm ready to start painting it. And itching to get going on it!! The image has strong horizontal lines, broken up with strong vertical lines within the centre third of the painting. The viewers eye sees these strong geometric lines and is happy. But, hidden within the painting are the more rounded shapes of two lovers, she on top of him, he prone below her. It will be obvious, when you see them, as to what they are doing, and yet, it will take the eye a while to see them, as they will be painted in a subtle way, using the same colours as the buildings they are superimposed over. And whilst the contrast of the buildings will be stronger than the contrast in the couple, they will be hidden. This sketch is only a simple version, the finished painting will be brighter, with more depth of colour and contrasts in it. But it takes a while to find the couple, even so.

There's so much to do when starting a new painting - there's the initial idea, the thought process of how to convey that idea on paper, the thumbnail sketches to complete the thought process, choosing the right medium - whether watercolours will be better for their fluidity and movement, or whether oils or acylics would be better for the brighter and stronger colours and the ability to overpaint. Then the layout of the image on paper, making any final adjustments to that. THEN the actual applying of paint can start! (this is why I say that to produce a painting, nine tenths of it is the thinking part, and only a tenth is the actual painting, no matter how difficult it is to paint). And whilst I'm painting, I'm still thinking, still trying to work out if things could be better improved with the addition of something, or the deletion of something else, whether to change the colours, or add a dash of interest somewhere else. And I know when its actually finished when I look and look at my painting and can find absolutely nothing to improve upon. Then its done!

I was talking to an artist friend over the weekend, who I have not seen for a few months, and she was asking what projects I'm currently working on - so I told her about the two "erotic landscapes" and went into detail about how I was going to do them, and what was involved. She knows the two paintings are going to be a challenge to do, and made the comment that as an artist you're selling part of your soul. And I know what she means - we are producing part of what makes us artists, the creativity that is so deeply ingrained within us, that we have this need to create and produce artwork, and we advertise it for the world to see. Its like showing part of your inner self. And she asked me, where do you begin to put a price on that...................?

People watching

When I'm out and about I tend to look at people with an artists eye - thinking how I'd love paint them if they're exceptional in anyway. The other night in the local take-away there was a stunning looking blonde girl who'd come to collect her order, and I could hardly take my eyes off her - she was gorgeous, with blonde shoulder length hair, neat features, snub nose, large dark brown eyes and very slim petite body. I just wanted to paint her, she was so lovely. Fortunately she didn't catch me staring at her, although the way she looked, I bet she was used to everyone looking!

A day or so after that, I was doing my supermarket shopping, when I noticed an electrician sitting perched on top of one of the tall fridge units, intently looking at something out of sight above the shoppers. He was drop dead gorgeous too, so I couldn't help but stare at him. Dark hair, good looking with a cheeky grin, dark eyes and an athletic body. Sigh. Very nice. He was busy doing something I couldn't see, but as it seemed so incongruous that he was being ignored by everyone, I felt I should speak to him, caught his eye, and asked if he was for sale too? His eyes twinkled, he smiled, and said he could be. Gulp (wishes do come true!) and said it was a pity he didn't have a twin because then I could have two for the price of one! Temptation indeed. That made me laugh!! What I could do with twins!

I've got a half finished painting of a nude woman in my studio, and have been looking at it for the last couple of years, wondering if I should finish her off (in a painterly sort of way, I mean!) and what I should do to do that. I'm not fully happy with the painting, as there are aspects of it that need more detail putting in. I like the idea of the subject matter - the back view of a woman, with her breast in silhouette, her full buttocks resting on her feet, as she suggestively runs her fingers through her hair. The painting is called "Without a care" - technically, its all done, but there's just something making me think I can do more to improve on it. So, I'll leave it on show, until I get a brainwave. I tend to leave paintings lying about my studio as a reminder of things to do, but just occasionally, I think I need to have a tidy up and put things away.

I'm also half way through the first pussy portrait which I am itching to get on with and finish off, and get on to the next ones. I want them to have a connecting theme, and that works best when they are all painted chronologically close together. If I struggle too much with this first painting I'll end up doing it again once I've got going on the other ones, and got into momentum with them. So..... I'm off to do some painting.........

Whats in a title?

I visited one of my favourite galleries yesterday, always a joy, and lovely to see their latest batch of paintings. Some I really liked, some were mediocre, a lot of them were tastefully arranged young women with only the hint of nipple on show - any bums, crotches and full breasts were covered artistically (and disappointingly) with a cloth (unlike my drawings!). But what I was struck by was the naff titles of the paintings - they were something along the line of "garden", "beach at sunset", "picking flowers". And didn't, for me, involve any emotion in the painting, as they were actually of a beautiful girl, or a couple of pretty girls, within the garden or beach setting - so, if they had been something along the lines of - "Julia in the garden", then I'd have instantly had an affinity with "Julia", or if they had been less personalised but perhaps invoking an emotion - like "picking flowers for mum" or "Sunset thoughts of my lover" then I'd have been happier with the painting. But, I suppose for a lot of people, once they've bought a painting and hung it on the wall, what does it matter what the painting is called?


I can agonise for days over the title of a painting, sometimes taking longer to think of it than it actually took to paint it! And on the whole I like my titles (I'm not saying they're the best in the world, because they're not, but hopefully they convey something into the painting through them). Although the fanny paintings that I'm currently working on will be called something along the lines of "fanny 1", "fanny 2", "fanny 3" etc that is ONLY to protect the identity of the person behind the painting, and not because of any inability to think of a title on my part.


I have painted lots of watercolour paintings of tigers. I love tigers. I love their bright dramatic colouring, their stripes, their menace, and the whole cat thing about them. So the first tiger painting I did was quite naturally called "Burning Bright". The next one I did was called "Tiger bright" then followed "Spitting mad" since the tiger was all teeth and fury. After that followed "The tiger within" since the tiger looked like it was looking though a wall of water at the viewer. Then came "Cool regard" as the tiger was looking quietly at the viewer, and then came the jokey one which I called "Tiger spotted" since there were two tigers in the painting, one all regal and majestic in the foreground, and the other was approaching from a distance, having spotted him, and it amused me to call it that, as tigers aren't spotted, they're striped (as well you know). So, all tiger paintings, all with titles I was happy with. Then came the painting I did of a tiger swimming. I was really pleased with the painting, it had gone beautifully, looked good, and was technically well done, showing the body of the tiger submerged beneath the green waters. But what to call it? I went though all the titles I could think of ....... tiger swimming, tiger in water, water tiger, swimming tiger...... none of them worked.......... so in the end I called it "Sea for cat" being a pun on the phrase "C for cat" and it amused me to call it that. But I had chickened out of the title I SHOULD have gone for...........it was so obvious, so deliciously apt, so totally RIGHT, and yet I didn't use it!! So, now you're wondering what it is, what I should have called this painting of a swimming tiger?



Yep, its........................................ "Wet pussy"!!!!!!