Making an exhibition of myself

I made the acquaintance of a new friend the other week, and liked her very much. Since then we've chatted on the phone, and texted, a little, as you do when you get on. I knew a little bit about her, and her background, I'd met her man, knew what he did, and bit by bit, you build up a picture of the person, as they build up a picture of you. But, whilst you're doing all of that, you're doing other stuff too. The stuff that makes up your life, as they do the stuff that makes up theirs.

And I've had a really busy week, this week, as I've got a lovely commission to do for the woman who came to pose for me at the begining of the week, I've got to put some ideas together for a guy in San Francisco who has sent me some erotic photos and is waiting for my response of how they can be made into a painting of him, I've made a lot of new friends via Twitter, including a friend from a few years ago, who I met through blogging, and as well as that I'm updating my new website, with a large batch of emails back and forth between my webmaster and me, regarding his ideas, my ideas, the website layout, the best way of displaying the images, and a whole list of other questions between us too!

But, I would like to think that I've also got time for my friends.

Especially the new ones. When you're still finding out about each other.

So, it was great to hear from my new friend when she texted me earlier, and made reference to the fact she'd looked at my website, and suggested I look at her website. Which I did, later on this morning, expecting for some reason, to find that she was selling tee shirts from it (a slight mis-understanding with her surname in the web address gave me that impression!).

So... I looked...... with an open mind.......

And what I found.... astounded me..............

And that doesn't happen often!!!! :)

I sat there, reading her website, with my mouth hanging open,  and HAD to ring her straight away!

And on answering it - I told her I was flabbergasted!

She asked "Oh.....Why....?"

And I responded

"I didn't know you were an ARTIST too!!!!"

And she laughed, and agreed she was, which meant that we spent the next hour both of us all fired up, talking about creativity, art, erotic art, models, posing, art workshops, and art motivations, art experiences and all things connected.

And it was only during that conversation, when I relayed to her about me being hugely impressed with the places and countries she has exhibited in, that I realised that I hadn't created my own page on my new website for my OWN exhibitions!

Duh!

So, when Ieventually came off the phone, all bouyed up with talking about to a fellow female artist, I sat down and made MY list of places and dates of where I've exhibited..... and was surprised...... at how many places there were on that list!

Chilled to the bone, but warm to the heart

It might have been a miserably cold, grey day, but the positive feedback I've had at the exhibition has kept me warmed through!

I knew there would be a lot of artwork there, there always is. And probably more there this year than in past so I knew that there would be a lot of my arty friends there, both old and new, either exhibiting their work like me, or just there to view the artwork. Smiles of greeting, and "Hello Jackies!" as I went around, knowing all the faces that spoke to me, but one - a fat faced man I knew I didn't know but he seemed to know me. I disregarded him as mistaken and carried on around the show, bumping into him again an hour or so later, as he smiled again at me, and said a clear "Hello" to my face, and I felt he felt he knew me, so wondered how he thought he did, and then I saw his wife, who it turned out was a friend of the woman I bought my house from last year, who I had met there a year ago, so he was right, he did know me, and well remembered me into the bargain!

I loved seeing the new paintings on show there, and discussed some of them with a fellow artist as we went around,  agreeing on what constitutes good art, and bad, whether quick acrylic abstracts are better than traditionally painted watercolours and discussing the merits of both.

With an other artist friend we discussed erotic art, and the difference between that and life drawing and she said I'd like the burlesque drawing session she goes to every month or so. That sound's like fun!!!

I was pleased to see I'd sold a pencil drawing, that always makes the whole hard work of exhibiting, worthwhile. But it wasn't til I chatted with the woman who runs the show and she told me it was the guy who opened the show who had bought it, the Chairman of the local County Council, no less, and I told her he'd got a good picture, as it had won an award earlier in the year when I exhibited it with another art group, also at Ticknall.

As I was packing up my artwork after the show, another art acquaintance I've known a long time,came up to me specifically and made the comment about how much my art had come on in the last few years. She said that it showed in my art, and nodded at the pencil drawing that I had sold, and said that she had thought it was a photograph when she first saw it, and could appreciate the work that had gone into it, and I nodded, and agreed, it had. She said "You've got to have to paint every day for a talent like that!" and I said that I don't paint or draw every day, but certainly every week, I do, and she nodded at me, knowing that for art to be successful, you have to hone your skill on a regular basis. 

For Four Fores

My friend K called to see me this week, and as always it was really good to see him, to have a catch up chat, our usual shared laughter over mugs of hot sweet tea and to hear his interesting and informative latest news.  We'd got so much to say to each other and it was good to sit outside in the fitful summer sunshine whilst we talked. I offered him another,  rhetorical....."more tea", since I know he drinks as much of the beverage as I do,  and he accepted with a grin, and said "Ill have a look at your latest effort whilst you're doing it" I turned back to him "EFFORT?????!" I queried. And he explained patiently to me "It's not a masterpiece until its finished, until then it's an "effort"!" "Ok" I acquiesced with a smile, although he was on iffy ground as far as I was concerned, I've not thought of my art as "efforts" for many years. They invariably turn out as I expect, and are always pieces of art from the first pencil line. I consider the word "effort" in this case to describe amateurish attempts at artwork that may or may not become a finished painting.  So, I don't consider my paintings as "efforts", not at all! It's a good job he's a good friend, for me to let him get away with that comment!!! LOL

But I was more than happy to show him the watercolour painting I'm currently working on for Stuart, of the interior of the Bothy at Calke Abbey. And he agreed with me how detailed the painting is! I'm really pleased with the way it's progressing, and the drawing out that I've done of it. It was always going to be a difficult picture as I'm painting from half a dozen photos to make a whole room, although the photos can't capture the whole room all together. It's half painted, by now, and I may use a fine black sketching pen to pick out the detail afterwards, I'll know for sure when I see how the painting has progressed and see how much it may be needed. And the surprising thing is - I'm loving doing it! Its great fun, and very challenging to draw all the tools, and paraphernalia of an ancient garden shed.

Today, a guy I have only met a couple of brief times before, came to my house on an unrelated to art matter. He and I stood chatting in the kitchen as we drank tea and coffee together (not mixed you understand, that would be the worst of both drinks!), and it was only in passing during the conversation that I mentioned that I'm an artist. "Aaaarrre you an artist?" he asked in wonder, and I nodded at him, and agreed that I was. I went on with the conversation, and skipped over the artist part. It was only when he was leaving the house, that he looked at the artwork on the walls and asked if I'd done it. "Yes!" I said. "What, ALL of it?" he asked, and I agreed with a broad grin that it was indeed all mine. He peered at one of the big cat watercolour paintings that I'd done and asked me how long it had taken. I appraised the picture he was indicating and said "MMMMmmm.. about 12 hours for that one" and he was flabbergasted at that answer and shot back with "Is that all...?" and I answered with a bigger grin "Well, I know what I'm doing!" and he nodded in understanding, especially when I went on to say a bit later on that a painting actually takes "12 hours AND forty years of experience" - THEN, he understood!!!!  :)

And the reason for the strange title for this post...? Well, this is the four hundred and forty fourth blog post...... so I thought it worth a mention....... don't you...?  :)

Another fanny on the horizon

I had a really long chat with my good American friend from across the seas last night. Well, nowhere near the sea as far as he is concerned, and nor me either come to think of it! And although there were many miles between us (and a lot of ocean!) he could have just been in the next room to hear his voice.  We talked of various things, and people in our lives, and have many similarities and similar interests in common, which is probably one of the reasons we get on so well. But, the first thing he wanted to mention, with some intenseness of urgency, was the last painting I did, of the Royal Crescent at Bath and the various people depicted within the oil painting. He reads my blog, and follows my art with avid interest, and was aware of the latest painting I was working on, but until I showed it here, he hadn't got a clue as to what it was reeeally going to look like (any more than anyone else had, other than my description of it here, which didn't fully describe it other than the bare bones of it). So, when he saw it for the first time here, he was taken aback by the colours, the feel of it, and the detail, and the work that had gone into the painting. I think I sometimes forget that because I'm working on it, and describing it in words to people, that really they don't fully comprehend what it will look like, until they actually view it. I know when I have a painting to do, whether it's for a commission, or for an exhibition, I have a definite and intense thought of how to start, how I want to lay out the composition, what colours I shall use, the tones, and siting of the lights and darks, and where the focal point will be, but after that I work on it as I go along. MMm..... no, that's not exactly right, as that sounds like I haven't got a clue as to what I'm doing or how. And I have.

Let me explain it a little better......

I spend a lot of time thinking about my artwork, nine tenths of painting it is the thinking aspect of it, no matter how many actual hours I put into painting it, it has far more thinking put into it. And that thinking will start with the practical ways to start it, but I don't have a finished picture in my head (unless its exactly a copy of a photograph depicting a place, or person in which case it will look like the image I'm working from!). But after that, once I' ve started, I will be thinking whilst I'm painting, I will be thinking when I have a tea break, when I'm having my lunch, or a walk, when I am watching TV at night later on, even if I'm out with friends in the quiet moments between conversations, when I am in bed falling asleep, and when I wake the next day, and so on, and so on, until the painting is finished. In in all that thinking, I will be assimilating ideas, working on colours, on the design, on the textures, and thinking of previous paintings I've done, and the experience of all of those, and using all that artistic talent and my huge experience to paint this painting, and add the artistic bits that make the picture more interesting and dramatic. So, its no wonder people don't have a clue as to what my painting will look like, since its all in my head, until it gets transferred from there, down on paper or canvas.

Towards the end of our conversation, he asked me what my next painting would be. And I smiled, and said that I wasn't fully sure. But, that wasn't actually true, because I know what I shall paint next, it's the one after that I'm not fully sure of!

Because, the one that is next, is one that I have been wanting to do for some months. One that I have been waiting impatiently to do. One that I shall LOOOVVVVVE to do. As its one of my favourite subjects.

And the subject matter?

Oh, I think you can guess......

It's another Queynte.        
To add to the collection of  "Fantasy Fannies". And I think you might have  clue as to what that will look like! But not the colours I shall use. Not the shapes within it. Not the end result....

Almost there

The response is good, the feedback positive. But it's not quite complete yet. A few more changes, and hopefully it will be finished then.

I always have mixed feelings about my art - I put as much as I can into it, of myself, invariably have positive feedback (actually, I can't remember when I last had negative feedback, other than someone being upset by their feelings over my Enigma painting because they didn't like the faces in it because of what it reminded them of - so, that doesn't count, as such..!). And then, when artist and client are happy, the painting goes to live with them. I always feel a little sad when it goes, but also am happy that it will give others happiness through viewing it, so it has to leave me, for that to happen. But then, I can look towards the next idea, the next painting, the next commission. And I am always excited at the prospect of that! 

But sometimes I see some of my paintings when I go to visit friends, and that is always nice for me too - like visiting old friends of my own! Twice this week, that has happened, and I like to see my art, and to hear from my friends how other people in their lives have looked at the paintings and been affected by them in a positive way. But art does speak to people, and I am always astounded when I hear someone say that they have never thought of art, or paintings, and don't have an interest in it. Surely, all of us have ONE painting that we want depicted, one thing that is the most special thing of all, to us, for us to look at daily, and get mental sustenance, inspiration, hope, happiness, pleasure, and a feeling of loving fulfillment from. It doesn't matter if that painting is a special place (whether its Naples, New England, Nagasaki or Nuneaton), thing (motorbikes, mangoes, military mustard pots or Ming vases), person (lover, lovers, loved, lost, or liked), or action (sky diving, skiiing, sailing the Seven Seas, sewing sequins, shampooing the cat), we all want something. I just want the opportunity to paint it for them.

I am pleased my contact in New Zealand is still interested in my career and where it is going. We spoke briefly this week on the phone, early morning for him, late night for me, catching up on each others lives. His affected stupendously recently by the earthquake there, and listening to his voice as he described it brought the enormity of it all into my life.  

Friends visiting last night were eager to see how the Royal Crescent at Bath painting had progressed since their last visit a fortnight ago. And I was more than happy to show them, although I explained it wasn't fully completed yet...

People come into my life, and some are affected hugely by my art. My life is my art. If I can affect them, through what I paint, I feel I have achieved part of my lifes plan. And, that's got to be a good thing, surely?

Explanations and updates

New friends came to visit last night to have a drink with me and my man and chat about life, generalities, specifics, people, work, families, hobbies, and all other diverse subjects, and have a bit of a laugh as well, as is usually a case of a social visit. They hadn't been to my house before, but they did know I am an artist and about the piece of art I am currently working on.   So, it was nice when they sat in my lounge, drinks in hand, and he immediately commented on my art hanging on the walls. Most of them are landscapes of one sort or another, although a couple of them are somewhat surreal. He really loved them, and said how talented I was which was very kind of him, and went on to say that his father is a watercolourist, so that made the compliment even more of one, if he had some understanding of the technicalities of painting. His favourite picture in the room was "Midnight Blue" as shown here, and he said he really loved the deep blue of the sky in it, and he nodded in smiling agreement when I said that I wanted to depict the feeling of a couple going out for a drink in Venice, and almost being able to hear the muted sound of music coming from a bar nearby (as in any music, not the one with Julie Andrews, nuns, jack boots and the goats!).

 I indicated one of my favourite pictures - Enigma -  the one of faces on a black stormy background and asked them both what they could see in it. They both looked at it, from a distance, and shrugged, as they couldn't see anything, then she said an interesting thing. She said "She's a lighthouse, and its a sea picture". I looked over to it, and tried to see what she was seeing. He could only see the faces he said. and she replied "You've got to look deeper than that, beyond the surface..." And went on to explain that the woman with the brightest face at the bottom is a lighthouse, and the others are lost at sea, and she's leading them back. Wow! I'd never looked at it like that before. And that is why I love this picture, because other people see such diverse things within the art. Things that I never intended, but they see them as clear as anything. How wonderful!!!

We spent a pleasant evening, and it was only after they were about to go when she said "I want to see the picture!!!!" and I knew she meant the one I'm currently working on - of the Royal Crescent in Bath with the spiritual, surreal, abstracty feel to it, and limited colour scheme. I took her to my studio and she and he stood before the picture, and the smell of oils and turps filled their nostrils as the room is rank with it. They stood in quiet contemplation of it, as I explained the thoughts behind it, whilst trying to keep my fingers off it, as its still wet and drying slowly, as oils do. They loved it, and could see how it was evolving, and how the picture is developing. I need to make it more dramatic though, and lighten the whites, and darken the darks. It also needs more movement within the picture, as it is depicting a windy day, and it needs more leaves blowing around in it, and more depth of interest in the grassy areas. But, I'm really pleased with the way its going. It's just that I can't work on it as fast as I'd like, as I have to wait for bits to dry before I can work on the next stage. Not helped by the fact that it's a block canvas and each of the four sides have to be painted as confidently and completely as the front of it. But, I think its going to be a good one.... its going that way!

The end of this year

I knew at the beginning of the year that it was going to be a difficult one. I didn't know at the time that it was going to be the MOST difficult one ever, for me. But then, what can you expect when life changing decisions are made, and need to be acted upon..............

So January started with the understanding that I was getting divorced. As soon as possible. But things don't happen in quite the way you expect. Various cogs need to be put in motion first, and some of those cogs are reliant on other people, and their decisions. And added to that I knew that the house that I loved and had lived in for twenty years had to be sold. That was a very difficult decision too. So, I started decorating to get it ready to go on the housing market.

As it was, the house wasn't sold to complete strangers, but my half was sold to another. Which should have made the selling far easier, and it would have done if Land Registry weren't being pedantic to the nth degree over which parcels of land I owned and didn't own. That took from July to the end of November to sort out. Five whole fucking months of arguing!

Whilst that was happening, I was looking for another house to live in, a lot smaller than I was used to, with less land, but somewhere that was right for an artist. I looked at every house for sale within a 15 mile radius in my (limited) price range, and visited four - three of which were hugely unsuitable for various reasons, one of which I fell in love with on paper, and even more so when I walked through the door of it. And deeper still when I finally bought it. It is the right house for an artist, it is the right house for me. I love the rural village it is in, and love the fact it is near arterial roads. Fortunately the vendors were patient people who liked me, and wanted me to have the house, although the "quick sale" we were all hoping for dragged on for four long months because of the Land Registry problems. But at least I was able to rent the house, whilst renting out my half of my own, much beloved house. But, in renting, there were limits to what I could do. I had to leave the house in the state it was in or else risk losing the large deposit, should the house sale fall through. So, I didn't hang any pictures on the walls, as my heavy pictures needed walls drilling and proper fixings put on the walls. And I wasn't going to unwrap any of the boxes I'd brought, or my carefully wrapped pictures, until I knew the house was going to be paid for, and mine complete. It had taken me weeks to wrap them all in the first place, and clear my last house of twenty years of accumulated clutter! And I didn't want to repack them and start again.

Added to this was the fun of buying a car (a new experience for me) - and I chose one that was perfect for my needs. Within four months of buying it, it had had its front wing totally mangled in a car accident that happened whilst I was sitting oblivious in a pub having lunch in a pretty Essex village, when someone managed to reverse with such force that his car shunted the Mercedes parked next to mine, and embedded it sideways into my car. I am so thankful that I wasn't between the cars at the time! The car limped back up to the Midlands, and was duly mended and looked as good as new when it was returned to me a couple of weeks later. Three weeks after that, my car was hit in EXACTLY THE SAME PLACE by another vehicle as he drove off a road into the side of mine. I just got out of the car and thought "Fuck, not again!". I bet the garage repair men thought they were going through deja vu when it was towed in to be mended for a second time!

Also, I had an exhibition to put on - at Burton on Trent library. It had been booked months in advance, long before I knew I was getting divorced, and moving house. The woman I'd organised it with offered to cancel it, but I said I'd go ahead, and did the best I could with it. In the end, it was a success and I have other connections through it - including going on Radio Derby to promote it, which was an interesting experience.

Added to this, it was seven weeks before I got the internet at my new address, for reasons that seem to make sense to telephone companies, but not me. It was four weeks before I had a phone put in, and that involved endless, exasperated arguments with the phone companies too. Not helped that mobile signals are intermittent at this address too. I also had to go out and find furniture for the new house, so Ikea has become my second home, as it is both cheap and practical with its furnishings (all of which have to be put together of course! although I liked doing that bit).

And then, just when I thought my life was settling down again, and I could start getting things straight, my mum died.

So, when people ask me, in passing.................. "Have you painted anything recently, Jackie?" I look at them. And smile, and say "Well, its been a big year ............."  ...and start telling them why I haven't painted anything recently..................

But I'm certainly not complaining about the year. Far from it. Its been a good year as well.

And I have done some painting............ although not as much as I'd have liked, they have been good ones. I did the beautiful and mystical Goddesses painting, and I did a selection of artwork for Stuart who continues to be a walking advert for me, telling everyone in his life about the pictures I've done of him. I've done some excellent drawings of the male model I met a year ago, and he has grown to be a good friend of mine too.  I've done a couple of landscapes which have been popular, and I've started to think about writing erotic stories too. And I've done the painting of the girl with the universe in her hair because of a woman I met.

But, more than all of this, she is my muse. She also, has become a good friend, and I love the fact that I inspire her creativity as much as she does mine. Meeting her has got me back into wanting to paint properly again. She inspires me.

So, its been a big year, a year of change, and challenge.

But, these have been the building blocks for next year.

When I can start again, afresh.

So,  I wish you well at the end of this year, and want to thank my friends for their positive help and support, and for listening when I've had a lot to deal with. I want to thank my readers for following my life through this blog, and for mentioning it to me when we meet in real life. I want to thank my true friends for their friendship. And I want to thank my man for being so wonderful, and being there for me, always.

My love, to you all .......

How do you see colour

I should have been moving house today. But, due to problems further down the chain, it's had to be delayed for a couple of weeks or so. But fingers crossed that it can all go through soon. Until that momentous day, I continue packing......

But the days of waiting are sometimes punctuated with pleasant surprises, and today was one of them. My good friend K turned up unexpectedly as he was in the area and wondered if I was at home. And I know he likes drinking tea as much as I do, so I'm sure that had part of the pull !

We've not seen each other for a while, and it was good to catch up with him and have a chat. He's very easy company and we share a lot of interests - he talked about his new job, his wife, and kids and we got onto the usual subject of art.

And one of the things he said got me thinking. He made a comment about people being colour-blind and said he wondered what colours they saw instead? For instance, is the red that he sees, the same as the red that they see? Or blues? Or greens? Infact, are any of the colours he sees the same as the ones I see, for instance. I thought for a while, and we discussed the fact that some people have a hatred for some colours - either through something within them, or through a learnt reaction (for instance it was years after I left school before I was happy being seen in a pale blue blouse and light grey skirt, as it was my school uniform, and I obviously still had some negative reactions to it, and I enjoyed my school-days!).

I had a friend years ago who hated the colour red. She adored pink. But not red. Now, why would that be? What was in her that had created that irrational reaction? Or maybe she'd had a bad experiece with the colour in her formative years (perhaps a nasty episode with a tomato in the spin drier? Or an aversion to blood maybe?). She wouldn't have the colour in the house and certainly wouldn't buy any red clothes or lipsticks. And I know of other people who hate particular colours - K said he hated to see women in dark purple, and yet he liked dark blue, which isn't far off in tone and colour. He said he hated brown too, and I agreed, I find it a dead colour. I love it as a colour though as in natural woods, and brunette hair colouring, but not particularly for home decor colour schemes, and clothes for me.  

So, all this leaves me, as an artist, with a problem. If I like colours, I'll use them in a picture. But, if someone doesn't like them, they won't buy the picture. And what if they see a particular colour in a different way to the way I see it? How can I paint a picture for them? Or do people who are colour blind just "read" it differently? If I painted a landscape all in greens, do they see the greens? Or do their eyes just "read" it as "landscape" and the colours are immaterial?

But then, I've had people go a real "Wow" over some of the pictures I've painted, because of the really bright colours. So, it obvioulsy "works" for some people.

And all in all, probably leaves me a little confused! But then, that's the joy of art. No one really knows..........
It's just finding that bit of magic that works within the picture - whether its through colour, or not.

Opening doors and slamming others

On deciding one warm and sunny night this week that a fresh pizza and glass of chilled wine at the local pub was a good idea, I was surprised as I placed my order when the pizza chef greeted me with a smile and enquired "How's your exhibition going?" I was taken aback, since I've not seen him for a few weeks. "How do you know about THAT?" I asked, intrigued.... "You emailed my wife and she told me!" he said with a grin, and I smiled back in rememberance. Of course I did! Along with everyone else I could think of in the area who might be interested....

So I wasn't so surprised later on that evening, still in the pub, when I saw another guy I'd not seen for a year, and he asked me the same thing! It's nice to know that the message is getting across and people remember.

And even nicer when my cousin from North Yorkshire rang me yesterday to ask the same question. This exhibition is giving people the opportunity to get in touch with me, which is lovely! It makse me feel all warm and smiley!

Infact, now I come to think about it, two women friends have mentioned it too when I bumped into each of them on different days this week. One of them was just coming back from a late lunch in town, and had a male colleague with her. She and I hugged in greeting and she introduced me to him, we shook hands and she mentioned to him that I'd got an exhibition on at the library and that she'd been but I'd not been on duty at that point (its sods law that I can hang around the library for three hours and not see anyone I know, but when I'm not there, they go!!!!). He looked at me with interest and said "So you've got your own crayons have you?" I smiled and said "I've got my own paint brushes as well". He said "But you could use your hands to smear the paint on" and I agreed and said "And I'd probably earn more money that way instead of painting properly with a brush!". He asked me a couple more probing questions about my work and when I said that I'd sold artwork to America, he commented "Well, its easy to sell oil paintings to the Americans!" followed by an aggressive "Gettttttttt a JOB!!!!!!!!!" I replied that I HAD one!!!! My friend decided it was time to get back to work and I said goodbye to her and to him and walked on. She's a really good friend of mine, but I wasn't sure about her colleague - whether he was being deadly serious and sarcastically critical and rude, or whether he thought he was being funny! I'm still not sure. But I'll ask her next time I see her. I found him to be aggresively rude for no apparant reason. Perhaps he speaks to everyone in that way!

Dirty little secrets

Its always nice when a friend asks if you're free to meet him in town for a meal. Its even nicer when you know that he doesn't live in this area but over two hours away by road but just happens to be coming up from the London area for the day. So, I was delighed to accept with alacrity. The fact that he was bringing a friend was a bonus. Especially when I knew who it was, as she was someone important in my life although we'd only met briefly once before.....

The day shone bright (and so it should for flaming June, EVEN in England.............!) and I met them at the appointed time, in the market place where there were busy bars and restaurants. I found them straight away and greeted them both with a hug and kiss. We sat chatting over drinks aboout the weather (how English!), the people in our lives and the lastest gossip. And then I was able to ask her the question, the one I KNEW I was going to ask her..............

"So, how do you like it then?"
And she replied with a big grin and said "I love it, I love it so much I've bought a mirror so that I can see it from both angles"
I smiled with delight and asked her if others had noticed her secret?
She shook her head "No, they haven't"
I was even more delighted to hear that. That was EXACTLY what I wanted to hear!
Infact a guy she knows had been standing really close to study it and he hadn't seen it. Not until my male friend had said "Are you looking for the filth?"
I guffawed with laughter when he said that, as I knew he was being provocative and amusing with that  pointed comment.
Because he was talking about this. This painting I did a couple of years ago which was a gift for the woman, something commissioned for her, and given to her by two close friends who know her tastes well and wanted to give her something special and unique. So they'd contacted me and asked me to do this painting for her. Its called "Towering passions" and is the skyline of New York at night. But hidden within the painting is a naked couple, making love. But most people don't see them, because they're expecting to look at the verticals and horizontals of the skyline and don't expect that there's a secret in there. A secret only a few know about. And that's why she bought a mirror, so that she can see it from all angles when she's sitting in her lounge. How good is that!!!!!!!!!!!!

De clogging

I suppose we all get clogged up with life some of the time....................Sometimes its the things we have control over, sometimes it isn't. Sometimes its the people in our lives, and sometimes its ourselves. Sometimes we can do something about it then and there, and sometimes we can't. So we have to work through it the best we can.

And the best thing to help me sort my problems out is talking to the close people I care for, and who in turn care for me. Their wise words are invaluable, their support, advice, listening ears, intelligence, empathy, and strength of verbal communications help me to move on through the difficult times and back to the light.

I don't like losing my way. Normally I know exactly where I'm going.

And when I'm clogged up, its not clear, and its difficult to be creative. And yet its hugely important for me so.

But yesterday, I cleared something. The "clog".

My channels are clear again. For the moment, anyway.

A new start. How exciting!

So, when my usual model came to see me last night, to be drawn, I knew I was in a positive frame of mind. She had also decided to declog me - in the throat and nose department at least, with her magical mixture of honey, lemon, grated ginger and boiling water to clear my cold. She also came bearing gifts - flowers and pears from her garden, and the most useful of all medicinal properties - humour. So, we chatted, we listened to music - 80s disco and then put some serious music on - AC/DC, and sat there as the music flowed through us, and I drew her. The pose came to me immediately, I knew exactly how I was going to do it, the lighting was easy to set up, I drew with confidence and the picture worked straight away............ my creative channels were open. And here is the result!

Its called "Open invitation". And is the lovely white on black that is so effective with the light on the body, but with just a bit of red to add interest. I love the feminine curves within this shape, lots of lovely flowing lines and patches of darkness against the light. It depicts a full breasted woman looking openly at the viewer with the start of a smile on her face, inviting you to join her, as she holds her panties between finger and thumb, just about to drop them, or maybe swing them around, as she teases you, as she interacts with you.............and as you join her..........to see what pleasures await...........

Friends and posing

I've been more aware this week than any other of the good friends I've made through being an Erotic Artist. In a strange way, they're all connected this week. Is the Universe pulling them all together for me for some reason? Well.... maybe MY universe is. I think that maybe the case anyway. Its making me look at each friend in turn and see the value I place in each one for their importance in my life. Huge value, each and every one, in their support of what I do, and how I do it. Its a validation that I'm on the right path to have such good friends helping me. And somehow I think its partly because I do the erotic art that I have these friends. If I painted flowers they wouldn't have made the connection with me. I know that for sure! :)

And, after a couple of days searching, I think I've found the image I've been looking for. I've been wanting to do an erotic couple in the "living flame" style of painting, and have been searching around for suitable poses. I didn't expect it to be difficult, but it turned out to be. Because I knew I wanted the couple to be upright for the painting, and that in itself can make the painting too symmetrical and boring. But, I think I've got it now..... a pose with some interest in it, sensual, erotic, and sexy..... yep, that'll do it everytime!!! LOL

All together now

I'd like to thank the kind commentators on my last blog post, at least I have a better understanding of what you all think about me. Its been most interesting for me to find out. I know I know some of you in real life, some of you I don't know so well, but I may know some of your real names as well as your blog names, so I feel I know you as people even if I haven't seen you in real life. I might have only met you once or twice, but I feel that you are all friends, if not friends in the traditional sense of sitting down together with a cup of tea or glass and wine, and sitting chatting together. Communication doesn't need to be face to face to work, or to be understood. Or for a feeling of trust to be there. So, thankyou. I really appreciate it.

I've met some good friends through blogging and certainly through my art. I suppose that's because the people who want me to paint for them, or want to buy my art from me, are on the same wave-length and that's how we become friends. I like that! Very much.

And I suppose that's how I became to have lunch with Stuart and his wife yesterday. We had a really lovely time, he's lively company, full of clever wit and banter. He likes the fact that I drew him naked, and is often quoting things about his nudity and my having seen him like it. It amuses him and makes me smile.

I suppose its all quite normal for me.

And my friend in America and I have been discussing the sex industry in Las Vegas quite happily too this week, talking about the pretty escort girls being advertised but not necessarily the ones that appear at your hotel room when you ring for a prostitute, about nudity in some of the swimming pools, about exotic dancers and call girls.

It all makes for interesting conversation.

So last week I was chatting to a guy in the pub. Someone I've met a couple of times, and who I like chatting with. And he and I were talking about our week and what we've been doing, things and people, the normal stuff. I told him that I had finished painting my first "fantasy willie" and he was interested to hear about it. Then I asked him what he was doing over the weekend. He paused. And quietly said "I've been invited to an orgy". I don't think he was expecting the answer he got from me, it took him aback somewhat. I looked him in the eye and said "How interesting! How did you get involved with that then? Where is it held? How many people are going? Have you been to one before? Can anybody go? What are the rules? Is it gay or just straight? " And he smiled gently and quietly answered my questions. He said at one point " I can't believe I've told you this!" and I smiled and said "Ah, but I'm not giving you the reactions most people would, as I am GENUINELY interested to know all about it!"

And I think it was at that point that he quietly said "Why don't you come with me then?"...............

Post script: I think I must be the only person who, when invited to an orgy, thinks of it as a marvellous business opportunity! The ultimate life-drawing session (presuming I can draw fast enough! LOL ) and the absolutely ideal place for my "fantasy fannies" to hang on the wall!!!! :)

Happy second birthday blog

I was going to say "Happy second blog birthday", but I've only got one blog, and "happy blog" sounds a bit overly joyful, so its "happy second birthday blog", whatever a happy second is - well, one way or another, you've got the drift - I've been writing my blog for two years now! Yay!!!


And I do love writing the blog, and receiving the feedback I get from it, either on the blog itself or in real life. And I love the friends I've made through it - I'm thinking of one in particular, and he knows who he is, on another continent, but who is very helpful and supportive of my art and what I do. And this week I've had a chat in real life with Fitzy who has been been supportive of my blog and art too - it was good to have a long chat with him and discuss the artwork he wants to commission from me, and I'm looking forward to meeting him at some point in the future, when we can sort out the logistics.


Other than than, I've started to draw out another Queynte, with a view to starting to paint it soon, so that's also exciting - as I'm never quite sure what they're going to turn out like until they're finished, which is odd for me, normally I know exactly what the painting is going to look like, but not with these fantasy fanny abstracts, which makes it more fun, and a bit more difficult for me, but they always seem to look alright in the end, so they work however they're created!


And my good mate Lucy Felthouse sent me a link this week for an article she wrote about her visit to Erotica in November - its here if you'd like to read her article.

So, what do you do when its your blog birthday - bake it a virtual cake and blow out the two candles? Ok....... I'll do that then! :)

An embarrassment? Me??

I forget sometimes that I can inadvertently cause embarrassment to people - especially some people I know.......

On Saturday I went out to dinner with some close friends, well actually they are more like extended family, and as we did the "How've you been? and how's the family?" catch-up questions, I was told by the woman that she had had to side-step some difficult questions that her father had asked her recently. He knows me well enough too, and she had told him, in passing, some weeks ago, that I was exhibiting in London. This caused her a lot of problems. Because she wasn't expecting him to be SOOOO interested! Where in London? he wanted to know? Which gallery?What sort of subject matter? What sort of paintings? and then after the exhibition, he asked how I'd got on and asked what sort of people went there? And which paintings I'd sold? She found herself changing the subject quickly, to get him on to something else. Because she knew, and HE didn't, that I was exhibiting at Erotica at Olympia, and the art was erotic, and the buyers were buying erotic art, and I'd taken my "Fantasy fannies" paintings to show. This made me hooooowwl with laughter!!!!!!! Because, this is an extremely capable and confident woman in her late 50's who is suddenly side-stepping the awkward questions from her father in his mid 80's!!!!!!!!!!! Of course, he didn't know ANYTHING about the erotic art, and presumed that my art was of the landscape, portrait, animal type, that he probably, vaguely, thought I do (Well, I do, as well, but I DO DO the other erotic stuff TOO!!!!!!).

And that reminded me the other week when I was with another close woman friend, and she said that she had had her parents over for lunch recently, and her mother had gone around her house to view some new decorating she'd had done. And as she had had a look around, my friend had SUDDENLY remembered that she has one of my paintings hanging on her wall upstairs. And a cold wave of panic enveloped her as she thought of her mothers reaction if she saw this painting. So as they walked around upstairs, she quickly changed the subject, and managed to manoeuvre them downstairs out of harms way so that the picture couldn't be viewed. And this made me howl with laughter too - because this is also an extremely capable, confident woman in her late 50's whose mother is in her early 80's!

But whereas these tales are amusing me, I can also understand that its easier for them to avoid the subject to avoid the embarrassment.

I think I sometimes forget that others get embarrassed at some of the work I do. They like my art, and are happy with it in their lives, its just that its easier not to involve some others in it (like elderly parents!).

Sometimes I draw people, and they are embarrassed at the thought of the image I'm doing of them. But I've drawn a lot of non vanilla subjects, its the nature of being an Erotic Artist. But the thing is, I don't think "This is sexual, and maybe a bit kinky and maybe I'm a bit embarrassed" - I think "Mmm....... where is the composition with these items, where is the light coming from, where are the negative shapes, what colours should I use, where is the focal point, and would it be better if the feather was stuck in her hair, rather than where it is................?

Which reminds me of a joke:

What's the difference between erotic and kinky?
Erotic is when you use a feather during sex, kinky is when you use the WHOLE chicken! :)

Let it free if its not for you

Sometimes things that you think are within your grasp are taken away from you. Sometimes it takes you by surprise and sometimes its out of your power no matter how much you think you're doing the right thing to get it. So, this was the case last year when I went to the local farm shop and talked with the owner about hanging some of my paintings there. She was keen on the idea, liked my art very much, had even been actively looking for a local artist to hang some paintings and was all for it. She just needed to hang some picture hooks. I went back week after week and the hooks weren't up but were going to be - imminently! Then we had the problem with "insurance" and the insurance company not being happy with paintings with glass hanging on the wall because of children running around and maybe harming themselves. So it was decided that it was better not to have my paintings, and they'd do without artwork. Fair enough. And funnily enough, a few weeks ago when I went they had some artwork on the wall. Ok, it wasn't for sale, and was possibly screwed to the wall, but it wasn't my artwork (neither was it as good as my artwork!). So, I shrugged it off, and got on with other things. There wasn't much else I could do.

This week something else was taken away that I thought was a "given". My spiritual healer friend has decided that she doesn't want her self-help book on unicorns illustrated now. The book has been two years in the writing, has only been completed recently, and we have on various occasions discussed me illustrating it for her. We were both looking forward to the creative partnership of her words and my images being published. But she now feels that the book doesn't need illustrating. Fair enough. It's her book and for her to make the decision. And its not for me to argue the point (too much!) - she is my closest friend, and will remain so, so we're not going to fall out over it. I know she's not comfortable with some of the erotic artwork I do sitting against "spiritual" images. But I paint so many varied subjects, so many different things, and maybe that's part of the problem. I do TOO much to fit into a niche. I know I'm good at what I do, and others like what I do, and my art sells. But I don't fit into a title - I do erotic art, but I'm more than "just" an Erotic Artist". I also "do" landscapes, and fantasy, cats, people, and figures. All I want to do is paint pictures and sell them. The subject matter is VAST.

But, this has also got me thinking - there is no reason why I can't still paint the unicorn pictures I have been planning in my head. There is no reason why the pictures won't make beautiful paintings, that people may want to buy, there is no reason why I may not at some point write a book - about my art, for instance, that will have a chapter on unicorns, a chapter on the fantasy fannies, a chapter on landscapes, one on tigers, one on mermaids, one on erotic art, one on surreal art, one on erotic landscapes, etc etc. I have enough subject matter to write a book already, and I enjoy the writing process very much. And it seems to be well accepted in return. I plan at some point in the future to do it. Not now, and maybe not for a few years, but its on the mental "to do" list.

So, I can only be true to myself - and paint what inspires me. Whatever it is. And listen to what other people ask me to paint for them. Its all fantasy, one way or another.

MMm........ Maybe I should retitle myself "Fantasy Artist"!!!! :)

Life, love and art

I went to meeting for one of the art groups I'm in, last night. It was good to see everyone again, the usual start of chit-chat and pleasantries, then on to the meeting, not very exciting stuff, but it needs to be discussed with the group. Items talked over, decisions made, the usual stuff of meetings. Then afterwards, the usual dash for the door for some and the leisurely lean back and the comment of "Do you want a drink?" as the rest head for the bar.

Then the proper chat starts - the "What have you been doing recentlys?" as we catch up with news and gossip. I was sitting next to a guy who is a big friend of Stuart - the chap I drew two life portraits of in December, and funnily enough I'd had lunch with Stuart and his wife earlier on that day, and Stuart had kindly sent a very useful and interesting book about local interest, to me via our mutual friend. So we had a chat about what a nice chap Stuart is, and about the experience of my drawing him, and how odd Stuart had found the thought of it , but felt very comfortable in my company very soon after my starting to draw him. Then we moved on to other topics. And usually it gets around to my erotic art - since no one else in this group does erotic art, and I suppose some of my stories are a little more colourful and interesting than the usual art stories! So I quickly got them laughing with a couple of saucy arty anecdotes, and then started chatting with the younger woman next to me.

I've known her for many years as an artist, but am only just starting to know her as a friend. Her fella came to join the social group later on, and he's someone I've known for a number of years too through another connection, so it was easy chat between us..... and as the evening wore on, we chatted and chatted, and were the only three left at the end, and we easily conversed on many varied subjects from vegetarianism (they are, I'm not), to erotic art, getting paid by clients, producing art, making people happy, celebrity and all the problems it brings, painting nature, working as an artist, relationships, finding yourself as an artist and I suppose mostly about life and love and art. And what totally wonderful subjects to discuss! I have felt for a long time that my art is "spiritual" (especially after having many long and deep conversations with my spiritual healer friend) - I don't mean religious, I mean spiritual - in the way that it is therapeutic to the buyer, brings them happiness and it feeds the soul. I suppose you could argue the fact that all art is like that - but I seem to be able to paint pictures that people can empathise with, probably because of the erotic/sensual subject matter. It was good to explain how much I've changed this last year as I've focused on my art more, and the pleasure I get from painting. She said she could see how much I had changed within myself as a person and becoming more creative as an artist. And I was touched that she had seen that. We talked about our personal circumstances, and the way we created art from within ourselves, the creative spirit and how hugely important it is within us and forms the whole basis of our lives. It was good to bond with my artist friend, and hear her views on life - because her personal circumstances have changed hugely within the last year, but I can see that she too, is more relaxed within herself, and with the way she communicates with her art with the people she works with.

Time to go, and not because we had finished conversing on this subject but because the bar was closing, so we walked together into the dark night, and said goodnight, but after a couple of steps she came back to me, hugged me and said "I'm SO proud of you, Jackie!" and I hugged her back and said I was proud of her too, and was so touched with her words.

Friends

My friend Stuart has sent me a beautiful letter this week telling me .....

"I am writing to you about why I am so enthusiastic to show the drawings to family, friends and strangers. My main motivation is my pride in having participated in the production of two such beautiful pictures. I believe that they are so good that it would be a great shame if they were framed, hung in our front room with few people seeing them. Most people who have seen them think that they are very good, once they have become accustomed to viewing a naked male senior citizen! Obviously you have great skill to make an old timer like me look so attractive without overdoing it. They are certainly me! I am also proud of myself for having the courage to pose nude before a lady I did not know. However, as Sir Malcolm Sargeant said, you should try everything once with the possible exception of incest and morris dancing. It ws my lucky day when I was introduced to you to draw me. Your drawings are now my most precious possession."........ Aw, isn't that nice!!!


And whilst we're on the subject of friends, the ever fragrant and lovely SpikyZora Jones has given me this Friends award! Aw, I'm touched!!!! Thankyou babe! I want in turn to share it with all those who read my blog regularly - well, those who I know about, because you leave nice comments!



I also want to thank my usual model for her help, enthusiasm, fun, friendship, inventiveness, and patience when we're setting up a pose. And understanding when the art "doesn't work" for whatever reason (my bad headache being the reason this week!) and positive and vocal support and the accolades when it does (which is most of the time) !!! Thanks babe - and I'll forward this "Friends" award to you in particular.

Am I that scary?

........ So, my friend said to her friend:

"I'm seeing my friend later, she's an erotic artist".

"Oh, a neurotic artist?"

"No, an EROTIC artist"

"Oh"

....... and then she changed the subject.

(Why does this amuse me?!)