Joking apart

I was recently reminded of an erotic art joke and thought I'd share it with you..........


An artist had been working on a nude portrait for a long time. Every day, he was up early and worked late - bringing perfection with every stroke of his paint brush. As each day passed, he gained a better understanding of the female body and was able to really make his paintings shine.


After a month, the artist had become very weary from this non-stop effort and decided to take it easy for the day. Since his model had already shown up, he suggested they merely have a glass of wine and talk - since normally he preferred to do his painting in silence.

They talked for a few hours, getting to know each other better. Then as they were sipping their claret, the artist heard a car arriving outside. He jumped up and said, "Oh no! It's my wife! Quick, take off your clothes!"


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And whilst I'm in the mood for joke telling........


How many artists does it take to change a light bulb?

Ten. One to change it, and nine to reassure him about how good it looks.

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How many modern artists does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to throw bulbs against the wall, one to pile hundreds of them in a heap and spray-paint it orange, one to glue light bulbs to a cocker spaniel, and one to put a bulb in the socket and fill the room with light while all the critics and buyers are watching the fellow smashing the bulbs against the wall, the fellow with the spray-gun, and the cocker spaniel.

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How many visitors to an art gallery does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to do it and one to say "Huh! My four-year old could've done that!"
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?



Fish.



 :)

Remembering good friends

This is the time of the year when we think of good friends, old and new, and want to wish them a happy time of good cheer...............

And it's always nice to be remembered by those we hold dear........

Today I spoke to Stuart who I drew just over a year ago and who became a good friend through the experience of it - he wished me a Happy Christmas and commented on how "perky" I sounded. He knows I've had a lot of personal problems recently, and expected me to be down, but I'd had a couple of lovely communications sent to me earlier that I couldn't be low in spirits........

The first was a beautiful poem from my new male model, he'd signed it and framed it for me and given it to me for Christmas. Such beautiful words that touch the heart in the way that poems do - the last verse being:

"The power of the artist is to create;
Images for the mind to see.
There is no greater compliment,
The image? That, is me."

How lovely is that? Gorgeous words and much treasured. I thanked him from the heart and said that the framed poem would be proudly displayed in my studio and is greatly appreciated.

The second communication was a long email from someone who really loved the two new drawings I've done of my male model - and was full of praise of the work I've done on them - he says -

"........These drawings show much more than any of your others. There is a warmth and sensitivity that to me represents a genuine friendship, a bond between model and artist. This model is a natural in your company (hard to believe this is his first drawings) and brings out the very best in your work. He trusts you implicitly and you take great pleasure in drawing him. Please do not interpret my next comment as anything other than professional, but the warmth and detail in these drawings, more than the men in your others, suggest that for a woman, this model is sexually very attractive (As a gay man he certainly is!).

......I must agree with one of your bloggers, (Blazing Scarlet) and the description is "stunning". For me, you have captured the beauty and grace of the male form, yet retained the masculinity and the physical strength of the model............"

Aw, I'm really touched that he liked them so much! But I know I put a lot of hard work and effort into them, so I'm pleased that that shows in the work itself.

And it seems that my artwork has inspired others to pick up a pencil and try their hand at art - someone who likes my abstracts wants to see what they can do in turn....so the art flows on into others, a wonderful gift!

And added to that I've received a very welcome present today from across the seas from someone who has bought art from me in the past, and who I know values greatly the artwork I do, and that makes it all the more special too.


So, thankyou to the people who value my art and the work I do. And who take the time to tell me about it. I always appreciate it.

And thankyou to you for reading my words and the comments you make - some to my face, some by private email, and some here on the blog.

So I'll take this opportunity to wish a Happy Christmas to you and yours and may the spirit of the season gladden your hearts as you celebrate with those closest to you and think of friends near and far...................

Feeling the need

The second time he took his clothes off for me he was far more relaxed. He'd enjoyed the first experience so much that he told me he'd found a new hobby! He found the experience of sitting naked in my company to be liberating, and thoroughly enjoyable he said, but I wasn't to think that he would do it for just ANYBODY - it was something he was happy to keep for me alone. And I was very touched by that sentiment. Because I know its not easy. And he's not done it before for anyone else.

I don't think I could do it, and sit still for that time, and I'd  be sure to get an itch or feel a draught. So because of that I'm aware of my models needs, of making sure they feel happy and relaxed and enjoy the experience as much as possible. It's in my interests to do so - because a happy model will sit still for as long as I need them to. But its more than that too - its having a rapport with the model. Since you're sitting in the same room together, albeit one of you naked and the other one drawing the nakedness. It helps if you actually like each other. It doesn't have to be a stony silence. It doesn't have to be clinical and detached. Its better for me if I feel relaxed, and at ease too. A happy artist makes happy art. So, if there's a bit of chit-chat that's nice as well.  If there's some music to help me draw that helps too. If its got a good beat to it, that helps  enormously for me. If the model likes the same music, then that improves the whole thing. And when the model announces after listening to Bryan Adams that it was ok but what he really likes is Paul Rogers then that makes me a VERY happy bunny!!!!!! YAY!!!! We like the same music! And added to all that, it helps if you have a similar sense of humour. Something to smile about, and share the smile together. And having an ease of personalites helps too .............So when you're hesitating over the pose and you're not quite sure how to voice your concerns and the model says "Do you want me to move my cock, Jackie?" that helps a lot too!!!!! :)

The pose this time was a nice relaxed diagonal one, with the model semi lying on a sofa. His weight resting on his left arm, one leg slightly curled under him, his right hand lying on his upper thigh, his face turned to the viewer but the expression enigmatic. He is certainly aware of the viewer. But then you find that the title of the drawing is "Feel the need" and you think "What need would that be then?" and you look a little closer and realise that its that right hand that's about to do something. But what? What need is rising within him? MMmmmm....?