Thursday, 26 February 2009

An embarrassment? Me??

I forget sometimes that I can inadvertently cause embarrassment to people - especially some people I know.......

On Saturday I went out to dinner with some close friends, well actually they are more like extended family, and as we did the "How've you been? and how's the family?" catch-up questions, I was told by the woman that she had had to side-step some difficult questions that her father had asked her recently. He knows me well enough too, and she had told him, in passing, some weeks ago, that I was exhibiting in London. This caused her a lot of problems. Because she wasn't expecting him to be SOOOO interested! Where in London? he wanted to know? Which gallery?What sort of subject matter? What sort of paintings? and then after the exhibition, he asked how I'd got on and asked what sort of people went there? And which paintings I'd sold? She found herself changing the subject quickly, to get him on to something else. Because she knew, and HE didn't, that I was exhibiting at Erotica at Olympia, and the art was erotic, and the buyers were buying erotic art, and I'd taken my "Fantasy fannies" paintings to show. This made me hooooowwl with laughter!!!!!!! Because, this is an extremely capable and confident woman in her late 50's who is suddenly side-stepping the awkward questions from her father in his mid 80's!!!!!!!!!!! Of course, he didn't know ANYTHING about the erotic art, and presumed that my art was of the landscape, portrait, animal type, that he probably, vaguely, thought I do (Well, I do, as well, but I DO DO the other erotic stuff TOO!!!!!!).

And that reminded me the other week when I was with another close woman friend, and she said that she had had her parents over for lunch recently, and her mother had gone around her house to view some new decorating she'd had done. And as she had had a look around, my friend had SUDDENLY remembered that she has one of my paintings hanging on her wall upstairs. And a cold wave of panic enveloped her as she thought of her mothers reaction if she saw this painting. So as they walked around upstairs, she quickly changed the subject, and managed to manoeuvre them downstairs out of harms way so that the picture couldn't be viewed. And this made me howl with laughter too - because this is also an extremely capable, confident woman in her late 50's whose mother is in her early 80's!

But whereas these tales are amusing me, I can also understand that its easier for them to avoid the subject to avoid the embarrassment.

I think I sometimes forget that others get embarrassed at some of the work I do. They like my art, and are happy with it in their lives, its just that its easier not to involve some others in it (like elderly parents!).

Sometimes I draw people, and they are embarrassed at the thought of the image I'm doing of them. But I've drawn a lot of non vanilla subjects, its the nature of being an Erotic Artist. But the thing is, I don't think "This is sexual, and maybe a bit kinky and maybe I'm a bit embarrassed" - I think "Mmm....... where is the composition with these items, where is the light coming from, where are the negative shapes, what colours should I use, where is the focal point, and would it be better if the feather was stuck in her hair, rather than where it is................?

Which reminds me of a joke:

What's the difference between erotic and kinky?
Erotic is when you use a feather during sex, kinky is when you use the WHOLE chicken! :)

10 comments:

Spiky Zora Jones said...

hahahaha...I love the joke. I'm afraid my girl is the same way about artwork...erotic art she would not ever let me hang on the walls or even in my office.

What would people think of us...um, let me see. Two women living together and sleeping in the same bed...kissing. If that don't bother them...should erotic art? hehehehe.

hehehehe. I think it's funny too.
fab post sweetie.

Ciao.

nitebyrd said...

I don't think I'd ever be embarrassed to have anyone see one of your erotic paintings. They are just erotic, they are works of art.

I'd be more embarrassed if I had a painting of Elvis on black velvet in my home! Something like THAT certainly isn't art.

That joke made me laugh out loud!

Jackie Adshead said...

Spiky - Yeh, glad you like it, its one of my favourite jokes!

Yes, I know some people aren't happy with erotic art on the walls, regardless of what exciting sexual things happen in the bedroom! But I think people are relaxed with the thought of two women living together, so you should maybe fill your walls with paintings of erotic women together! To get the point across!!! Tee hee!

Jackie Adshead said...

Nitebyrd - Thanks, yes, I feel the same - art is different and more acceptable as erotic because of it being art.

You mean you HAVEN'T got a picture of Elvis painted on black velvet in your home? WELL, I'm sooo disappointed to hear THATTTT!!!!! LMAO
But, seriously, I know what you mean - naff art is more embarrassing to people who know about art, than something erotic depicted in art. That's a really useful and interesting thought!!!

Delighted you like the joke - it always makes me laugh too, and I know it!!!

Fitzy said...

What a great post!

Do you think part of the reason for people's reluctance or embarrassment about admitting to having erotic art on their walls at home, or to let certain people see it or knowing about it, is much the same as when we were younger?

Let me at least try to explain that a little. What I mean is that when we were children/younger, the perception is that no one liked to think of their parents as having a sex life for example, so perhaps now that we are in turn older ourselves, we somehow feel that perhaps we should not be displaying our own sexual interests and desires on the wall in such a public manner?

Even more so if the work in question is actually of the person, and is recognisably so?

It certainly sounds as though it makes for some great fun stories for you, and no doubt the odd embarrassing moment or two for your friends as seen from your post, so I can see why you find it such fun, because it is of course all in a day's work for you. Which also might be another reason why you would never dream of what you do, or see being embarrassing.

You also make a very good point that a person commissioning you considers their own embarrassment foremost at the thought of stripping, or dressing up in something in front of you and what you might then think of them, but as you rightly point out you have seen it all before, you are also looking at different things, plus you have only known this person since the time they contacted you/made the request, so you only know them as someone willing to strip off, dress up, or do something else equally erotic for a work of art.

Perhaps it might be different for you if for example you oldest friend (assuming they haven't sat for you already of course) came over and said right, I would like you to paint me whilst (I don't know........ I am now trying to think of something outrageously fitting to insert) suspended naked from a chandelier whilst cracking a whip with one hand whilst biting the heads off Jelly Babies with the other.

I love the joke as well, thankfully you will pleased to hear that I don't have a chicken, although I do have a feather boa! lol

Jackie Adshead said...

Fitzy - Thankyou, I'm not sure of the full answer to this, as I love erotic art, and sometimes forget that others don't put it on their walls least other people in their lives "judge" them as being pervy (in their eyes). But yes, I think if the art is recognisibly of that person, its giving a view into their sex life that they may not want others to see. But then, that's why people put them in their bedrooms where most of their visitors don't view them, only the select few.

Yes, it does sometimes make for fun stores - two examples of which are here! But, yes, I sometimes foget that others get embarassed for things that I don't!

And yes, that was actually the point I was making, having recently had the conversation (with you, actually), that I've seen a lot of things before, and only look at it as an image for drawing, and not as a sexual image - although the image will look erotic when I've finished it, it isn't erotic to me whilst I draw it.

Now, that's amusing me greatly - the thought of my oldest friend (a man, by the way!) being in the pose you describe! And no, he hasn't sat for me already, and I'd be amused at his comments at this suggestion!!! But, to answer you seriously, I would still only look at the image to be drawn, and would concentrate on that, whilst I worked. But I think I may look at my friend in a new (positive!) light, if I new they were a little kinky under the vanilla exterior!

Well, a feather boa is a start... a good, erotic start..... :)

Fitzy said...

I agree it is sad that people feel the need to hide their works of erotic art due to the misguided few that consider it to be in some way pervy or something. But as you rightly point out, I am going to discover that having a recognisable piece of oneself is going to prove an interesting dilemma, and the bedroom would indeed seem to be the most likely of homes for such work.

I have begun to appreciate over the last 6 months or so, that erotic art really does have it's own beauty and not just for the obvious reasons that some would assume, as for me I feel it really does have a passion and soul all of it's own that I find is sometimes lacking from other works of art, but perhaps this is all down to the artists involved in such work being more committed to their cause.

It must be lovely not to embarrass so easily, although if you fell about laughing or turned bright red when your model walked out it wouldn't do much for their confidence, or your business for that matter! lol

Well I am pleased that you would look at your male friend in a new and positive light, so that is good news then and I am sure that he will be equally pleased. You can tell him I will even send him a bag of Jelly Babies if that will help! lol

When I first read the opening post, it did cross my mind that this might have been in part aimed at me, but I thought it was a little presumptuous of me to assume! lol But what you have said really has helped to put my mind at rest with regards to my ideas and the way in which you approach your work, so thank you very much.

Here's to a little kinky under a vanilla exterior! And you had best work out what I will need to do with my feather boa! lol

Jackie Adshead said...

Fitzy - Thats one of the reasons I like erotic art, for its passion and soul, that some other types of art doesn't have. Having said that, I try to put those aspects in my more vanilla art too.

No, indeed, it wouldn't be good for my business if I got embarrassed easily! But I am professional, and part of that is making the client feel at ease.

I'll tell my friend of your kind offer of the jelly babies when I next see him, thanks!

I'm pleased that this post has helped you, and that it's given you an insight to how I work.

I've done a few paintings and drawings of feather boas, so I can think of a few already!

Indigo said...

Yeah Jackie I so love that joke, the rude one's are the best. I don't get embarressed at all.. I have quite a few erotic paintings on my walls, am proud of them too... just waiting for the vicar to call for tea!! I agree with spiky, especially about the two women sleeping together in the same bed... hehe!!

Jackie Adshead said...

Indigo - Glad ya like the joke! And I'm delighted to hear you've got erotic art on your walls!! Long may it continue.