Let it free if its not for you

Sometimes things that you think are within your grasp are taken away from you. Sometimes it takes you by surprise and sometimes its out of your power no matter how much you think you're doing the right thing to get it. So, this was the case last year when I went to the local farm shop and talked with the owner about hanging some of my paintings there. She was keen on the idea, liked my art very much, had even been actively looking for a local artist to hang some paintings and was all for it. She just needed to hang some picture hooks. I went back week after week and the hooks weren't up but were going to be - imminently! Then we had the problem with "insurance" and the insurance company not being happy with paintings with glass hanging on the wall because of children running around and maybe harming themselves. So it was decided that it was better not to have my paintings, and they'd do without artwork. Fair enough. And funnily enough, a few weeks ago when I went they had some artwork on the wall. Ok, it wasn't for sale, and was possibly screwed to the wall, but it wasn't my artwork (neither was it as good as my artwork!). So, I shrugged it off, and got on with other things. There wasn't much else I could do.

This week something else was taken away that I thought was a "given". My spiritual healer friend has decided that she doesn't want her self-help book on unicorns illustrated now. The book has been two years in the writing, has only been completed recently, and we have on various occasions discussed me illustrating it for her. We were both looking forward to the creative partnership of her words and my images being published. But she now feels that the book doesn't need illustrating. Fair enough. It's her book and for her to make the decision. And its not for me to argue the point (too much!) - she is my closest friend, and will remain so, so we're not going to fall out over it. I know she's not comfortable with some of the erotic artwork I do sitting against "spiritual" images. But I paint so many varied subjects, so many different things, and maybe that's part of the problem. I do TOO much to fit into a niche. I know I'm good at what I do, and others like what I do, and my art sells. But I don't fit into a title - I do erotic art, but I'm more than "just" an Erotic Artist". I also "do" landscapes, and fantasy, cats, people, and figures. All I want to do is paint pictures and sell them. The subject matter is VAST.

But, this has also got me thinking - there is no reason why I can't still paint the unicorn pictures I have been planning in my head. There is no reason why the pictures won't make beautiful paintings, that people may want to buy, there is no reason why I may not at some point write a book - about my art, for instance, that will have a chapter on unicorns, a chapter on the fantasy fannies, a chapter on landscapes, one on tigers, one on mermaids, one on erotic art, one on surreal art, one on erotic landscapes, etc etc. I have enough subject matter to write a book already, and I enjoy the writing process very much. And it seems to be well accepted in return. I plan at some point in the future to do it. Not now, and maybe not for a few years, but its on the mental "to do" list.

So, I can only be true to myself - and paint what inspires me. Whatever it is. And listen to what other people ask me to paint for them. Its all fantasy, one way or another.

MMm........ Maybe I should retitle myself "Fantasy Artist"!!!! :)

Attraction of spirits

Well so far its been a very good year for meeting some absolutely fascinating and scintillating women (and they know exactly who they are, because they read this blog!) and this week has certainly been no exception!

My new friend the spiritual healer came to see me last night to discuss my illustrating the front cover and chapters for her new book on spiritual healing. We talked for several hours of unicorns and angels, signs, and our beliefs, and I think we spent all of ..... oooh....let me see.........five minutes.... actually discussing the book illustrations, although we quite quickly went off at a tangent talking about who our favourite artists are - and found that we have a few in common, particularly Josephine Wall and Salvadore Dali. But the rest of the visit was finding out about our mutual fascination with each other - always a joy with someone you feel an attraction to, on whatever level. And it turns out we're very similar in many ways. But the thing I find most thrilling and exciting about our connections with each other is the fact that her father and my mother actually dated each other many many years ago. And that got me thinking - what if our parents had actually married and had children - would that make us half sisters - or to take it that extra step forward - could she and I actually be two halves of one person?? Mmmm.......deep stuff, that. And added to the intrigue, not only are we the same zodiac sign, our birthdays are within a week of each other!

She's one of those people who I can sit and look at and never tire of looking at, or tire of listening to. She's full of interesting tales of interesting people. We certainly explored alot of our separate pasts, as women do, and looked for comparisons. Although the spiritual side of her which rules her is something I know little of, there seemed to be a lot of her viewpoints I was happy with, and interested to know more about. Equally, she was interested in my creativity and at looking at my artwork, and since we sat in my studio to chat, was interested in viewing the first stages of the erotic landscape I'm currently painting, and the first pussy portrait that is sitting awaiting completion. Infact I wondered why her eyes kept darting to something behind me as we chatted, and it was only when she asked hesitantly what the brightly coloured image was of - and laughed when I told her - that I realised what she had been looking at!! Fortunately she had read my blog so knew the background story, so I didn't have to explain too much about the whys and wherefores of why I was painting fannies!!!

As we talked, she got me questioning some of my beliefs, which is a good thing, if it can be channelled towards helping my creativity. And I know I questioned some of hers, because I feel the need to understand more than I currently do of some of her beliefs. My mind is open to her, and I feel I have a lot to learn on this subject. I'm looking forward to the next instalment of this tale.... I think it might be interesting...................