Saturday 27 March 2010

The big question

The man from 'Frisco was keen, very keen. I knew he wanted me to draw him, when we met, I could feeeel it, within him. And on our second meeting, a year later, he was equally keen. But, he's decided to wait, a bit longer, until he has the chance to bring someone else along. Someone special. His wife. So that they can both be drawn by me, in possibly a foreplay pose, he said, or a mutual masterbatory pose, maybe. Ok, I'll wait then. He's got the need in him. And its in his wife too. So, I know they'll be back. When they're ready.

..............................................


The goddesses went home today.

To their rightful place. But I shall miss them and their beautiful faces. When the male witch collected them, he was sooooo happy to see them again, to own them, to take them home, to look at them, and stare at their fantastic faces. His joy was palpable. Which delighted me and filled me with  the deep pleasure of a job well done. But then, as I wrapped them up for him,  he took me by surprise as he asked me WHY I called myself an Erotic Artist and how I'd got into it. I explained about always being an artist, then starting attending  life drawing sessions some years ago and by "leaving out" bits within the drawings it made the body look far more interesting, and therefore deemed erotic because of it. And that I have always painted landscapes, fantasy, tigers, people, dogs, horses, in watercolours, oils and acrylics, and usually by the time I've explained to someone all that I do, they lose interest. But, when I say I'm an Erotic Artist, I ALWAYS get their attention, and they ALWAYS want to know more about me and what I do. So, that's how I describe myself, even though I suppose all my art is actually "sensual" - that is, of the senses, rather than purely erotic. The goddesses painting was painted in a sensual way, and he agreed when I said that. I said that I'd happily paint landscapes if that would bring me work in, but I seem to get more work by being an erotic artist. Funny, but that's the way it is!!!! LOL

And then he asked me the million dollar question. The one that's really got me thinking.....

"Ah, but what do YOU want to be known FOR, as an artist?"

And that's the thing. I know what I've DONE, I know what are my best pieces, the most creative, the most expensive, the most difficult, I know what I enjoy doing best. But what do I WANT to do, what will be THE thing that I shall be most pleased with? Is it the fantasy fannies? the erotic art? the erotic landscapes? the fantasy pieces? Or something else?

 That's the question. A HUGE question.

And I think, this year, that I'm starting to form an idea of what it IS.

Its an amalgam of a lot of what I am, of what I've done, whats deep inside me, and what I want to do. Its putting ALL of that together, and creating a series of paintings based on it. A collectable series of paintings. That will appeal to everyone.

That's what I need to think about, to build on, to plan for. He nodded as I explained, and listened as I talked about the person I am, and what I need to do this year regarding it. He nodded, and then he said he was getting a message for me......................

based on what he read .............

within me..... is ...........

...........that I need to mature.

He said he didn't know what that meant, exactly. For me.

But, I said, I do.

I know exactly what he means.

And what is needed.

4 comments:

Vi said...

That's good that you know what you exactly want to do and hope you achieve it!

Jackie Adshead said...

Vi - Thankyou, I'll try my best!

Joanna Cake said...

I've been having the same sort of cathartic experience recently in terms of my blog. People keep calling it a 'sex blog' and I get a bit uppity about that because I just feel I'm so much more than just a sex blog... in the same way that you are so much more than just an erotic artist.

I find the whole labelling thing very trying and tiresome because the problem is that it's the sex aspect that seems to get people's attention so you can't just not do it... and I wouldn't want to exclude it totally. It's all part of what I am

The sum of the parts.

I'm glad you've found a path to follow that will allow you to express yourself entirely x

Jackie Adshead said...

Joanna - Yes you are certainly FAR more than a sex blog, as indeed I am far more than just an erotic artist. I agree that the minute you have the sex aspect involved people are certainly interested (understandably!) but what we both do is far deeper than that.

As for the path I've found, I'm only just at the very begining of it, but I certainly think its the way forward for me.

I hope your cathartic experience is helping you find your way forward, too.