The big question

The man from 'Frisco was keen, very keen. I knew he wanted me to draw him, when we met, I could feeeel it, within him. And on our second meeting, a year later, he was equally keen. But, he's decided to wait, a bit longer, until he has the chance to bring someone else along. Someone special. His wife. So that they can both be drawn by me, in possibly a foreplay pose, he said, or a mutual masterbatory pose, maybe. Ok, I'll wait then. He's got the need in him. And its in his wife too. So, I know they'll be back. When they're ready.

..............................................


The goddesses went home today.

To their rightful place. But I shall miss them and their beautiful faces. When the male witch collected them, he was sooooo happy to see them again, to own them, to take them home, to look at them, and stare at their fantastic faces. His joy was palpable. Which delighted me and filled me with  the deep pleasure of a job well done. But then, as I wrapped them up for him,  he took me by surprise as he asked me WHY I called myself an Erotic Artist and how I'd got into it. I explained about always being an artist, then starting attending  life drawing sessions some years ago and by "leaving out" bits within the drawings it made the body look far more interesting, and therefore deemed erotic because of it. And that I have always painted landscapes, fantasy, tigers, people, dogs, horses, in watercolours, oils and acrylics, and usually by the time I've explained to someone all that I do, they lose interest. But, when I say I'm an Erotic Artist, I ALWAYS get their attention, and they ALWAYS want to know more about me and what I do. So, that's how I describe myself, even though I suppose all my art is actually "sensual" - that is, of the senses, rather than purely erotic. The goddesses painting was painted in a sensual way, and he agreed when I said that. I said that I'd happily paint landscapes if that would bring me work in, but I seem to get more work by being an erotic artist. Funny, but that's the way it is!!!! LOL

And then he asked me the million dollar question. The one that's really got me thinking.....

"Ah, but what do YOU want to be known FOR, as an artist?"

And that's the thing. I know what I've DONE, I know what are my best pieces, the most creative, the most expensive, the most difficult, I know what I enjoy doing best. But what do I WANT to do, what will be THE thing that I shall be most pleased with? Is it the fantasy fannies? the erotic art? the erotic landscapes? the fantasy pieces? Or something else?

 That's the question. A HUGE question.

And I think, this year, that I'm starting to form an idea of what it IS.

Its an amalgam of a lot of what I am, of what I've done, whats deep inside me, and what I want to do. Its putting ALL of that together, and creating a series of paintings based on it. A collectable series of paintings. That will appeal to everyone.

That's what I need to think about, to build on, to plan for. He nodded as I explained, and listened as I talked about the person I am, and what I need to do this year regarding it. He nodded, and then he said he was getting a message for me......................

based on what he read .............

within me..... is ...........

...........that I need to mature.

He said he didn't know what that meant, exactly. For me.

But, I said, I do.

I know exactly what he means.

And what is needed.

The story so far

It seems that if I'm not being creative painting a picture, I'm being creative putting words together to describe how I'm creative with producing my artwork. So, since I've finished the erotic landscape now, I've been busy over the weekend thinking about what I'm going to write about myself for a new book I'm going to be featured in, along with other artists. What to put in, what to leave out. What's going to be interesting for people to read. How to keep it succinct and informative. How to describe my creativity, which paintings to feature that show my versatility and subject matter. I have to consider how my feature will compare with the other featured artists and try and get my personality across within the words. Mmmm...... So, how do I identify myself, and describe my journey so far, what inspires me, what I paint and why I paint it, the way I paint it, any funny stories I have connected with it and what I think may be interesting for others to read. I'm not sure exactly how much of being a professional artist is down to painting, and hopefully selling my art, and how much is actually down to promoting myself, so that I can sell my art. Each needs the other and works in conjunction with the other. I need to think which avenues to choose that promote me in the best way I want to be promoted. But I think this particular book will be very helpful in doing just that. But I just need to get the words right.

Am I that scary?

........ So, my friend said to her friend:

"I'm seeing my friend later, she's an erotic artist".

"Oh, a neurotic artist?"

"No, an EROTIC artist"

"Oh"

....... and then she changed the subject.

(Why does this amuse me?!)

The latest model

Who'd want to be an artists model? Certainly, there aren't that many people who fancy the job. Not many people are happy taking their clothes off for other people. Especially people who are going to look intently at them. Examine them in minute detail. And then after they've done that they're going to put all the details down on paper infront of them, showing all the parts of your body they you may not be a hundred percent comfortable with. Warts and all ....... so to speak! So, who would want to do THAT for goodness sake???? Well.......... it appears that some people do, and they actually enjoy doing it. And yes, I know that people pose as life drawing models for various reasons - some of them financial - because a life model can earn a reasonable rate of pay for sitting there in the buff, doing nothing in particular but keeping still (and BOY is THAT hard work!!!). But other people do it for far more involved reasons than basic cash. They do it for the love of it - they adore getting their clothes off for someone else and definitely get a frisson of excitement every time they stand before a room full of clothed strangers, knowing that all the eyes in that room are focused on THEM. They are the Star of the Show!!!

But deeper than that, there's another group of people who enjoy the creative process, and want to be part of it, but just don't know how to. They're not artistic, they're not particularly creative, they can't draw to save their lives, but they really really want to do something arty. So, they decide to aide the artist in another way - they become life models. They are the focus of the artistic process - they are the basis of the end product - their body is frozen in time, portrayed upon a canvas, immortalised in paint to live on in perpetuity for the world to see. And whilst you could say that they are being altruistic in some ways, they are also fully aware of their selfish needs in this. Its fulfilling their desire for being the creative focus of someone else.

And then there's the next group - the happy amateurs, who are doing it for a bit of a laugh, a lark, a bit of fun. They just pick it up and do it on the spur of the moment, something else to add to their "done that, bought the tee shirt" scenario, something they can laugh about down the pub with their mates, and tell their grandchildren about when they're old and grey.

And I suppose taking it to a different direction all together, there are those people who get their sexual kicks from the fantasy of being naked with a load of other people, and imagine the hot and frenzied passionate no-holds barred gang-bang orgy that might.......just......... happen .........if certain things go their way, and who probably go home bitterly frustrated and incredibly disappointed when they realise that actually the artist only really did just want to draw them for a couple of hours, and have a cup of tea and a digestive biscuit and talk about their herbaceous border.

But, to go to to another side altogether, there's the sublime relationship between artist and their muse - not just a model, but a person who truely inspires the artist. They have a deep and lasting love affair, not always of a sexual nature, but certainly one of a deep and significant type, where the artist does their best work because of the relationship and feeds from the artistic flow that comes from it. That's the pinnacle of the artist/model relationship. One that we all aspire to - and is so hard to attain. Its a thing of beauty when it happens. Something to be valued because its just so rare and special.

Winning

I spent all morning yesterday sorting out three paintings to enter into a local art competition. The pictures were already painted and framed, I just had to sort out the details for the stipulations for entering them in the competition - on the back of the painting had to be the name of artist (I knew that bit!), media and price (I always do that anyway), and contact details (does that mean just a phone number, or address as well? - ok, I'll do both), and on the front there had to be all the details again, written on a label, attached with string, so that the label can hang down infront of the painting. Ok, I did that. Then I had to put cardboard protective corners on each painting, and as the bloody things wouldn't stay on, had to attach them with masking tape, wrap all three paintings in bubble wrap, put them in my carrying bag, and fill out the form. Name, address, names of paintings, media, price and size - what on earth do they want size for? And in inches or centimetres? I work in inches, but I bet they work in centimetres, and I presume they mean the outside size of the frame, and not the size of the actual painting inside the frame? Find a tape measure, measure them, and put the figures on the form. I still can't think why they want the measurements - they've got the paintings, what difference does having the measurements figures make? Pack the whole lot into the car and drive to the venue (a new one for me, although I've entered this competition before, it was at a different place last year). I found it easily enough, and handed my paintings in, paid the hanging fees, they didn't want the bloody cardboard protective corners I'd so carefully applied, so I had to remove them all again and got the bloody masking tape stuck to all the bubble wrap, had a brief chat and came away again. So now I've got to wait til the end of the week to see whether they've been accepted, or rejected, in which case I'll have to go and collect any rejects next weekend, and the ones that have been accepted will be hung and judged along with the others in due course. It'd be nice to win the top prize, or even any prize. Last year I didn't win anything. This year I've got different pictures, and I rate a couple of them, the third might be a bit weird for the judges, but we'll see. None of them are erotic. I was supremely pissed off last year when I saw one of the paintings that won a "distinction" prize. As it was an absolute and exact copy of another artists work. She runs local art workshops and paints in a particular style, and the subject matter is of a particular type, so very easily recognised, and the painting that got the award last year was a direct copy of her work, most probably done on one of the workshops. So was I angry? Yes, I bloody was!! That my artwork which was unique, individual and not plagiarised, didn't win against a direct copy of someone elses work. I almost said something at the time to the organisers, but thought it would look like "sour grapes" on my part, so didn't. Do I wish I had? Maybe.


But, as far as winning is concerned - I won the top prize in a local art exhibition a few years ago, and that was a brilliant experience. There were three categories, and an overall top prize, which the judge judged on "If there was a fire, and I had to run out of the building with just one painting, which one would it be?" - and that was the prize I won, with one of my tiger portraits "Burning bright". Infact the judge liked it so much, he bought it from me afterwards, which doubly made my day - I sang at the top of my voice all the way home!!!!!!! Yay!!!!!

Promotion promotion promotion

Discussing with a local pub landlord last night about my being part of a forth-coming art exhibition he wants to hold in his pub one day in August I realised that I'll actually be part of six exhibitions held locally during August. That's fine, I can fit them all in, and as they're spread over the month, I'm confident I can work out the logistics of shunting pictures around to each venue. But will it be worth it? Will it bring in any sales for me? Will it promote my artwork? Conjour up future commissions? I live in hope that it will. I have to. Its a lot of hard work though, setting up an exhibition. Hanging around to talk to people, to promote what I do. Or else I just drop off my pictures at a gallery, and someone else does the setting up, and I go home, and fervently wait, in hope, with fingers crossed. And when I return somebody might say - oh someone was in asking after you earlier, they hoped you'd be here. And you think, bugger, I've missed a sale through that. But if I went and sat, and sat..... and sat..... at a gallery (and I've done that, on many occasions!) no-one comes in, no-one is interested, until perhaps five minutes before the end of the exhibition, when someone will come in and for the next half hour they'll tell you ALL about their brothers neighbours cousin who is a brilliant artist - have you heard of them? (I never have, but I smile sweetly at them). And then you go home, without a sale. And then you'll talk to someone who's interested in art, and visits art galleries regularly, and they ask where you exhibit, and why haven't they seen your work before? And you wonder why they haven't either, when you do your best to push your art, and exhibit where and when you can, and they've never even heard of you! So what do I do wrong I ask myself? And the answer is probably - nothing. Its just the way it is, trying to sell art. You live in hope that you can paint a picture that someone will like, and want, and want to pay for, and have room on their wall to hang it on. That's why I'd rather do commissions, because then I know I'm painting something that someone actually wants. Exhibitions are basically just advertising the fact that I paint, and what I paint, and how I paint. If I make a sale, its a bonus. Its also good to see what other artists are doing, and meet them, have a chat and compare notes.

So I'm not expecting to sell many pictures in August....... but I live in hope!

Getting turned on to drawing

The recent comments by Honoranddesire and Hornmaleuk have made me consider what people suspect happens between an artist and a model during an art session, especially when its an erotic art session. Its always the thought and question, underneath the surface isn't it? What happens when you're drawing a naked person, and you fancy them? Part of me, like most artists, considers that its a professional working relationship, like doctors, when you just happen to work with naked people, and you're trying to do a job........ but, there is the other side, when you get to know the model a bit more, and they become a personality, a friend, and then maybe a lover. But, drawing is using a different part of the brain, and I need to concentrate, arrange the composition, lighting, decide which medium I'm going to use, get my easel up, set up some rock music to paint to, make sure the model is comfortable with the pose, and is warm enough, and doesn't have a spot light shining in their eyes, isn't going to get cramp in five minutes time, whist listening with half an ear to their problems, and trying to organise them into the pose without seeming heartless to their concerns, and I'm not wearing my best clothes, I'm in old jeans and a comfortable tee shirt, so that if I spill paint down me, it won't matter. But if I'm getting ready for sex, I'd dress differently, take more care, and wear something slightly provocative in a revealing or clingy way, something that makes me feel hot, would feel calmer and would be looking for signs and giving signs, in my conversation, or gestures, or demeanour. So perhaps the model is ready for sex, because they have an empty mind, and are sitting there stark naked, but the artist isn't ready for sex because their mind is full of ideas and organising things. Mmmmm..... that's a really interesting thought.

I think we have a special relationship with our models, and they understand that too. And I've definitely had some interesting times and some very non vanilla moments whilst drawing naked models! I think as figure artists we're open to people, and the models are open to the artist, so its a potent mix to start with. Plus I also think that models are a particular type of person too - who like being naked infront of fully clothed people, who are exhibitionists (unless they are just desperate for the money and can overcome their inhibitions for financial reasons), and want to be viewed and stared at and have their sexual fantasies at the same time, so perhaps the poor artist doesn't stand a chance! (smile).

I know at the end of a drawing session I'm mentally whacked, because I've been concentrating so hard, the model is happily chatting away, and I've gone quiet, whilst I'm packing my art materials and easel away, so perhaps that's when there's a shift in the relationship, instead of the artist being in control of the model and the situation, the model is fresh and lively, mentally alert, and can take over and start to control what happens next.........

Ever so slightly pissed off!

I always am, after an exhibition, when I've not sold a painting. You'd have thought I'd have stopped it by now. I've had enough experience of them, for goodness sake. But I don't. I still experience that low, that dip in my good spirits. I can't help it. I know its only a small local exhibition along with other artists, and not a big important one, and that I'm a good artist, with talent (because I'm told often enough, by various people), and that its just such a small percentage of people who walk through the door to view the exhibition, who actually want to buy, and have some wall space they want to fill, and money in their pocket to pay for it. I know all that. And still I get a slight depression over it, because of all the hard work I put into a painting, a hanging of paintings, an exhibition, the expectation and feeling of excited anticipation, and then it comes to nothing ...........
.........But ............when I sell a painting............. that's a totally different feeling altogether! That feeling of euphoria is the best feeling in the world! I'm on a natural high for days, its like winning the lottery and all birthdays rolled into one! That someone likes my painting enough to want to buy it, and wants to hang it on their wall so they can own it, and view it for ever more, and don't want to spend the rest of their lives not having it around them. I love it! They're buying part of my energy - part of me, the energy I put into painting an image, the talent I have, the expertise, the effort and ability - all of that rolled up into a picture to hang on their wall.

Sensuous sensuality

It struck me whilst I was painting a picture the other day that I paint far quicker, and with more confidence, and produce exceedingly better results if I paint whilst I've got some loud music with a sexy, raucously rocking beat blasting out in the background. It makes a noticeable difference to the quality of the painting. I think faster, make more informed decisions quicker and produce far better results. And then I went on to think what a sensuous experience painting is for me anyway.... beyond the obvious sense of sight that's needed to produce a painting, I adore the feel of a new piece of crisp watercolour paper on my fingertips, and of a brush or pencil in my hands. I love the arty smell of my studio with the underlying odour of turps and oils. And although the only part of taste that I might experience in the production of a painting, might be the pungent taste of a good idea, all of it goes towards the ultimate and rewarding sight of a good strong painting, that hopefully follows on to feed the senses of the viewer, and then evokes other sensual experiences within them. Especially as an erotic artist, I want to induce the other more hidden pleasures of lust, desire, sex, passion and sensuousness from my erotic depictions of skin, I want to emulate the desires within the viewer that I experience when I draw the flesh infront of me.....