Earthy ideals

The paraphernalia of old potting sheds is something of a delight to a gardener. The sight of old clay pots stacked up high awaiting this years seeds, the well remembered spades and forks for digging, the old machinery taking the toil away from back-breaking labours, and over the whole pervades an earthiness of compost and old soil, of damp hessian, and the faint underlying odour of engine oil.  I love that smell, its all so familiar and welcoming.

But when all of that has to be put into a painting, it certainly is something of a challenge for the artist, and a feeling of accomplishment to actually achieve it.

And all of that was what Stuart was asking me to paint for him. His memories of the old bothy at Calke Abbey in South Derbyshire, the years he spent working there as a volunteer as the old house and garden were slowly brought to life again for visitors to view and marvel at the changes in time from the current new and shiny, back to the old, worn and decrepit.

Stuart took me back there a couple of weeks ago so that I could view it for myself, take in the atmosphere and take some working photos for his painting. He didn't give me many stipulations, other than removing some of the clutter on the floor, and to move a couple of the tools to different positions on the wall. Other than that it was as the photos depicted.

And that was what I drew, and then painted, and then went over with fine black pen to bring out the finer details of the drawing.

It sounds so simple saying all of that in one sentence.

But it wasn't at all easy.

It's the most detailed subject I've ever drawn.  And the details within it fascinated me. Particularly the textures. The grooves of the old wooden counter top, the peeling plaster, the faded blue of the aged paint, the sagging shelves, the missing draws in the seed cabinet, the cobwebs, and old bricks.

And within those areas there were odds and end of tools - the obvious ones hanging up - scythe, rake, spade, fork. But also as I looked closer I found two saws, a set of scales, two tiny keys, a spanner and a bird feeder, and even an old chair. 

And I drew all of them.

Because what he also wanted was for all of it to look interesting for anyone to see. Not just for his memories, but for anyone viewing it.

So it all went in.

I rang him last night to say I'd finished it, and we arranged for me to deliver it to him this morning. He asked me if I was pleased with it, and I said I was. He said an ominous "We'll see" about whether he would be......

The minute I arrived at his house, he welcomed me in, and demanded to view it straight away, he and his wife clearing a space so that we could view it. He stood back, looking at it, and said how like the bothy it was, except it was perhaps a little too clean on the floor!

He looked and looked then said he'd look at it for ages, and fall in love with it, and I agreed that was the way it should be with paintings, to gently fall in love with it from constant viewing, and constant liking what is seen in it.

After he stood and looked at it for a while he said  "Its better than I thought it would be!" and I smiled at him. He went on to say "I knew you're good at what you do, but you've made a better job than I expected!" and I smiled even more!

And just as I was about to go, after cups of tea and a visit to his garden to admire the latest blooms, he said "I've got to go and look at it again!" as he shot off to view his new painting. And as he and his wife stood looking at it in quiet reflection, he commented on the thing I knew to be the case, but others don't always see. He said "That view of it isn't real" and I agreed. It isn't. The picture isn't full reality as you can't see what has been drawn in one go. Because there is a wall and a doorway which are in the way, and the room seems bigger than it actually is, because of that ability to stand back to see it all in one go, particularly the items on the right hand side which are behind the wall and in a corner.

And that is the anomaly of art, and particularly of this painting. Although it isn't a totally true depiction, it is although a true feeling, a true memory, and the true remembrance, and true ambiance of that aged gardening room.

 And that was exactly what he wanted me to paint. And that is what he now has hanging on his wall.

Look and look again and look some more

It's going to take hours to do this picture. Hours of pencil drawing, hours of pen drawing, hours of watercolour painting, hours of looking at it to get the ambiance right. Hours of studying photos of it before I even start the work I've just described. Hours of peering into tight corners, hours of looking at colours, and shapes, hours of studying texture, and hours trying to put it down on paper.

And I'm gonna love every minute of it!

...and that's exactly what I told Stuart the other day when we finalised what work I would be doing on his painting for him. He wants it "to look interesting to anyone" and to have ambiance and atmosphere in it as well. I explained to him that a photograph only captures a split second in time, but it flattens shapes as it does it. A painting will bring out those shapes, will create more light where it's needed, and more dark to add depth  and interest to the painting. And this one will be about the most complicated thing I've done for an awfully long time. Each drawer in the seed cupboard has to be drawn, each seed word painted on it has to be written out, each plant pot, each shelf, each aspect of the clock and the tools on the wall has to be drawn. And some of the tools have to be moved around as well, just to add to the fun of it! And some of the pieces of gardening equipment have to be removed in the foreground, which will add to the fun again! It's going to be like drawing knitting, or a dish of cooked spaghetti, this hotch-potch of ancient garden implements.  

And looking at the photo here, you can see how much work has got to go into it, to depict it as a watercolour/drawing in pen and wash.

And I can't wait to get started!

Passing on the creativity

My mate the erotic writer Lucy Felthouse came over the other night for a drink and a chat, and I know most "business" meetings are boring - but ours NEVER are!!! Since we're never far away from what Lucy smilingly refers to as "smut"! (lovely word, so very evocative!). But when we're both in the business of selling erotic fantasies, what do you expect! I've not seen her for months so it was great to have a catch-up chat and ask about each others work and what each has been doing in our private lives... she's always amused when she thinks that a lot of people think she's actually done what she's writing about. I'm never asked that though, but perhaps people expect that one way or another, an artist creates an illusion......

By the end of the evening, when we were all "smutted out" and it was time for Lucy to go, she commented about me writing about some of the things I'd talked of to her. I could instantly feel the fire of desire rise within me! I wanted that, I wanted it a lot. I've always felt that I want to write, and the obvious thing would to be erotica, so, that's given me something to think about, too..... which is normal when Lucy and I get together!

And there must definitely be something in the air this week, because when I had a chat on the phone earlier with my new muse, to arrange the next drawing session, and told her that I'd stayed up til 2 o'clock in the morning drawing her because I was so inspired, and she told me that she was now also inspired to write some erotic stories too! I love it when the creative spirit feeds from other people's creativity! Absolutely love it!!!!

I'm really pleased with the drawing I've done so far of her. I needs a bit more work doing on it though before I show it here. It was difficult to even decide which paper to use to start with. I made the mistake of starting with a coloured textured paper, and tore it up before I'd done too much to it, to swap to a smooth white cartridge paper. She's so soft and feminine, that the paper has to match that softness. I decided to use dark graphite pencil in the end, rather than a colour, or a range of colours. Again, her beauty doesn't need to be gilded too much - just a single colour will emphasis that. But I know the more I draw her and the more I am used to looking at her, and seeing her, that I may branch out to other colours, other textured papers, other coloured papers, paint, bright vibrant paint, and large brush strokes. But, I am starting slowly at the moment.....whilst the passion rises within me again.

Be - mused

Sometimes you build things up in your head. And when you get the chance to check them out properly, they aren't what you expected. The disappointment sits heavily on your shoulders, and you wonder how you could have been so stupid to have expected things to be any different.

But, I like to look at things from all perspectives (ha, that was an artist joke!!).

I like to look at all angles, and face the good and bad in equal measure. But, I will always find the overall balance of good, because I am ever the practical optimist. But I know its not good to expect too much. Experience has shown me that........

She was waiting for me, in the pub, where we had agreed to meet. She and her man. It was a large, busy pub, on a Saturday night. We walked in, my man and me, and stood at the bar, searching faces. But we were spotted first, and waved over. They stood to greet us, and we said our hellos before settling down at the table. I made a point of sitting opposite her. I wanted to look at her......

We talked, of mundane matters, and important things. We talked of people and places, of times past, and present, we talked about ourselves, and our passions, our shared interests, our wishes and desires, of good things and bad. We ate a meal, and drank, and talked, the four of us. But there were still so many questions to ask, so we moved on, and carried on the conversation afterwards back at the house over more wine and a more relaxed atmosphere.....

She was happy to pose for me, and touched at my request. She had presumed on our first, previous meeting, that I wasn't serious about my desire to draw her. But I was. Absolutely, totally serious. When she understood that, she delightedly agreed that she would pose for me....... 


All artists look for the muse, the one who will inspire and aid the creative spirit, the one that makes you want to pick up a brush and paint. The one that fills your waking hours, and sometimes your dreams too.

And this one scares me.
And excites me.

In equal measure.

I am excited by her beauty, her transluscent skin, her cascade of dark hair, her sensual mouth, her soft enigmatic dark eyes, her look of fragility, her innate sexiness, her full womanly body.

I am excited by all of that.

But I am scared.

Scared that I won't do her justice. That I won't be able to capture the image I see of her, in real life, and translate her beauty from a three dimensional living being, to a two dimensional flat drawing on paper.

Scared.

But, I will .....try..............

If only they knew

We'd made the arrangement for today - for him to drop in for a cup of tea and a lively chat. I just wasn't sure exactly what time it would be, so I texted him first thing to find out. He texted back a time, and then rang me later to say he had a puncture and had to borrow another car, to get to work, but would come over later.

All fine, all normal for me. For us.

I've drawn him a few times before, but not for a long while, whilst I sort out my life. And it's good for me to have the practice session of life drawing, and although he originally thought he was just coming over for a cup of tea this time, (we're both big tea imbibers!) he was more than happy to sit naked whilst I drew him, and we chatted about the usual mix of subjects. Some sexual, some not. We have a similar dry sense of humour, so there's usually some laughter and comments to amuse us both with our meetings and the conversations flow in an easy and relaxed manner.

And all of this is perfectly normal, in my life.

He comes in, we sit and chat over a cup of tea, he takes all his clothes off, finds a pose we're both happy with, we continue chatting, and listen to the background music, I draw, we chat, and hopefully at the end of it I have a drawing I'm happy with.

All normal, as I say.

Except, today, there were phone calls to deal with.

Because he had a puncture, he had to arrange for the tyre to be mended, for someone to come out to the car. But the tyre replacement company weren't happy with the details he'd given them for the tyre - they thought the particular tyre shouldn't be on his particular type of car. So they rang him back. So, he had to answer the call. So then he had to ring to ask someone to check that the tyre was the right one, which they confirmed it was. So then he had to ring the tyre company back to tell them.

All of this whilst he's standing infront of me.

N A K E D.

But, they didn't know that. THEY all presumed he was a business man in a dark business suit. And indeed, he had been before he got to my house. And got his kit off. For me to draw him and think of erotic art.

We resumed the session. He resumed the pose, I resumed drawing.

And then my house phone rang........

"Excuse me Madam, but we are a market research company who are doing a survey for the local authority about people's leisure time, and we wonder if we could ask you a few questions about how you enjoy spending your leisure time, would you be happy to answer those questions.................?"

a big   P    A    U    S     E         from me.

"No. I wouldn't"

And firmly put the phone down.

They just wouldn't understand.................................. :)

Seeing what you hear

Most of our conversations so far have been by email. And there haven't been a lot of those - just the basic ones to make preliminary arrangements. But we both know the other has something we're interested in and intrigued with. I can tell that by the tone of the brief emails.  And the electronic message that came through yesterday was one I could have answered equally by email. It was regarding making arrangements to meet in the near future and have a drink and a chat and answer the many questions face to face over a pub table. She lives a good distance away and  its not an area I know, so I have to rely on her to recommend a place. But, although it could have all been sorted out through emails back and forth, I felt there was something better I could do.

 I could ring her. To make the arrangements.

What a novel idea! The telephone!

And better than that, she was in.

We started to chat, and agreed a day to meet that suited us both, and a time, and a place, but inbetween there were other snippets of conversations, about likes and dislikes, opinions, queries, inner strengths and weaknesses, and the possibility of things that may need some resolving. That's fine, that's part of what I need to know. I don't expect that my model is going to be plonked infront of me and I will draw her without any issues arising at all. If I wanted that, I'd draw still life!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Place bottle, and let it sit there until its drawn, no empathy with the subject matter, just a lifeless souless object placed on a cloth. But this is a human being we're talking about. A real person, living and breathing. With blood pumping through their veins, and thoughts rushing through their head. And if she's new to this experience, then it will seem strange to her, and she will have endless questions to ask. But this is part of the process, for me. I need to listen to her. I need to hear her thoughts. I need to know what she's thinking, what her issues are, what she is happy with, and concerned about. Because, that will give me the essence of her. It will show what she is, to me.

And all of this, is before we meet properly.

I've only met her once, briefly. But in that time I admired her outer beauty. And I knew then that I wanted to draw her. It was after we met that she agreed to pose for me, to be my muse.

So, when I see her the next time I will be looking at her with different eyes.
It will be with Artists eyes. And they look differently at things.
They look deeper, they look beyond the outer skin, beyond the superficial. They look within.

And all that information is considered. That knowledge is put together to make a whole. And that whole is then captured and put on paper. Well, that's what I'm hoping for. That's what my job is.  To paint what I see, and what I feel, and what I know. But at the moment, that information is picked up by ear.

I'm looking forward to meeting her again. It will be a social occasion, along with our accompanying men. But, something tells me, they won't get many words in edgeways.............................

But what's it like?

Some things have a definite answer. Particularly when it comes to time...... how long does it take to soft boil an egg? How long will it take to drive to Edinburgh? When's tea? How long will it take you to get ready? (well.. ok, that's EASY for a man to answer, but not a woman, certainly, its a bit more...er..... fluid!!).

So, when my new muse asks me how I will draw her, I can't answer fully. Because I don't know how long it will take.  Its not that I don't have the experience, because I have. Loads of it. Years of figure and life drawing. So, maybe that's why I know that I don't know (if you know what I mean!).

It depends on the model, it depends on the pose, it depends on what I'm trying to capture, it depends on how inspirational I'm feeling, and how inspirational the model is feeling. If they've had a shit day, the kids are playing up, they've got a full bladder, and want to get home to watch "Strictly come dancing", then they're not going to be serene and calm. And for me to draw well, I need a model who can sit happily for a while, whilst we listen to some rock or dance music, and whilst I draw them. So, I'll try my best to find a pose that is comfortable. And that the room is warm. And that they're not going to get pins and needles or cramp within five minutes of me starting. We all want a nice working environment to work in, to achieve the best we can of the circumstances. So, if the model has got some music that they really like, and they're feeling sensual and sexy, and are willing to sit for a bit whilst I draw them, then that's ideal. If we can arrange it. And that's presuming that the model can sit still. I've drawn some people who can sit still endlessly in a slightly difficult pose, with a bad back, on a cold day, on a hard surface. But I've also drawn people who can't. They can only sit for five minutes before they start asking me "Have you almost finished?" or they get light headed and keel over because their legs have locked. But, that is an extreme reaction and usually the reason for that is medical. So, I need to be aware of what people can do, before I start to draw them. And I know I'm fast at drawing. If I had to do a set of five minute sketches, I could do that (with the right tools -  for instance, it'd have to be with a lump of chalk rather than a fine pointed pencil to get the quick soft essence rather than the sharp specifics of the details of the face and body). Sometimes working fast like that can create some surprisingly lovely but simple pictures.  

Anything is possible really. But conjecture is one thing. Actually doing it, will prove the point far better. So long as the model is happy, I can work around the situation. I've done it enough times, to know......

And I want it to be a happy experience for her - one that she enjoys and finds pleasureable. 

Revealing the importance of the craving

Its been a while since I drew my male model but we were finally able to get together this week for another drawing session.

After our usual initial cup of hot sweet tea and chat about any updates in our lives we were ready to start. I made sure the room was warm enough as this week has been particuarly cold. So, fire lit, easel set up with paper and drawing implements to hand and we're ready to go.

He asked me what pose I had in mind, and I eyed his shirt and stated that a pose with his shirt partly un-buttoned might be a good idea. He started to unbutton it, and then on the spur of the moment we decided between us that his undone jeans might be a better idea. Ok, then, undone jeans. And that led to him taking off his underpants since they were "in the way" and that is how I ended up drawing him with his jeans half off, and no shirt at all!!!! LOL

We chatted as I drew him, the background beat of "Bad Company" in the background adding to the artistic flourishes (I DO like Paul Rogers!). And as I drew him, he stated that on the way to my house he'd had a thought  and a grin to himself that within an hour of coming to see me he'd be naked in my company. And said that he wished various other women in his past life had asked him to do that too!!!! He made me laff with that comment. But, joking aside, we both know its not sexual, its just.................well..........art!

The drawing went well and I was happy with it when it was finished. We both stood contemplating it afterwards and he made the comment "There is no better compliment than someone drawing you" and I thought about his words. I suppose I'm so used to doing it that I sometimes forget. That to be looked at, and for the artist to take what they see and use their talents to enhance and create a work of art from it, taking the essence of what they are, and adding it to the essence of what you are, to make a third being - a piece of ART is such a special thing. I sometimes underestimate the importance of it. But, no one else in my life seems to. They all KNOW.

The drawing, after due deliberation,  is entitled "Reveal the craving". the craving is both within the man in the drawing, and the viewer themselves. His left arm is hidden infront of him so the viewer can only guess at his craving, but the fact that he is gently dropping his jeans shows us that he wants to interact with us. And certainly, I think that those peachy male buttocks are certainly creating a craving within the viewer too! MMmmm...... :) 

Bearing flowers

He arrived bearing flowers. Beautiful white roses. As he walked through the door he kissed me, a peck on the cheek. There was an understanding between us.....

An easiness pervaded  the room as we chatted and I made him tea. But we both knew he wasn't here for the chat or the tea. There was a more pressing reason. One that couln't be denied or delayed any longer.

It was time.

I lead him into the other room. He looked around and knew what was expected of him. I described my desires and he nodded in agreement.

I turned away and by the time I had turned back, he was naked. And ready. And waiting for me.

But I knew it was his first time, and I wanted to make it as easy as I could for him.

I looked at him for a while before I made a move, then I raised my right hand and gently caressed the paper infront of me with the pencil. The first mark was the start, and I carried on, my hand moving over the paper, my eyes moving between the real him and the one I was creating on the paper infront of me. We still chatted, and the easiness was still there between us. And at the end, he stood and looked at what I had created and he was greatly moved by it and told me so. Because his perceived view of himself was not the one I had drawn. But I had only drawn what I had seen. And told him so. He said he had wanted to be drawn for some time, and wanted to see how the world views him. I've heard this said before. And I know he had searched for a while before he found me. But he said he knew he had made the right decision in choosing me. And I'm glad he did, because I think we will work together again. We both enjoyed each others company and I liked the ease between us.

The fact he likes rock and particularly AC/DC helps though! LOL

This drawing is my first of him, but hopefully not my last. He thoroughly enjoyed the experience, and thanked me for making it so pleasant for him. And is certainly keen to try it again. So I obviously didn't scare him too much on his first experience of life drawing.

And here it is, the drawing. I love doing these white on black images and find them far more sensual because of the effect they create. Its called "Opening gambit" because I feel there is more on offer that may appear at first glance. A naked man. A relaxed pose. But on closer inspection there is a glint of something ......................... a piercing.

De clogging

I suppose we all get clogged up with life some of the time....................Sometimes its the things we have control over, sometimes it isn't. Sometimes its the people in our lives, and sometimes its ourselves. Sometimes we can do something about it then and there, and sometimes we can't. So we have to work through it the best we can.

And the best thing to help me sort my problems out is talking to the close people I care for, and who in turn care for me. Their wise words are invaluable, their support, advice, listening ears, intelligence, empathy, and strength of verbal communications help me to move on through the difficult times and back to the light.

I don't like losing my way. Normally I know exactly where I'm going.

And when I'm clogged up, its not clear, and its difficult to be creative. And yet its hugely important for me so.

But yesterday, I cleared something. The "clog".

My channels are clear again. For the moment, anyway.

A new start. How exciting!

So, when my usual model came to see me last night, to be drawn, I knew I was in a positive frame of mind. She had also decided to declog me - in the throat and nose department at least, with her magical mixture of honey, lemon, grated ginger and boiling water to clear my cold. She also came bearing gifts - flowers and pears from her garden, and the most useful of all medicinal properties - humour. So, we chatted, we listened to music - 80s disco and then put some serious music on - AC/DC, and sat there as the music flowed through us, and I drew her. The pose came to me immediately, I knew exactly how I was going to do it, the lighting was easy to set up, I drew with confidence and the picture worked straight away............ my creative channels were open. And here is the result!

Its called "Open invitation". And is the lovely white on black that is so effective with the light on the body, but with just a bit of red to add interest. I love the feminine curves within this shape, lots of lovely flowing lines and patches of darkness against the light. It depicts a full breasted woman looking openly at the viewer with the start of a smile on her face, inviting you to join her, as she holds her panties between finger and thumb, just about to drop them, or maybe swing them around, as she teases you, as she interacts with you.............and as you join her..........to see what pleasures await...........

Beautiful dreams

The last but one time I saw her, I knew exactly what I wanted to do with her. I wanted her flat on her back with her legs in the air.

She complied, and naturally put her hand between her legs as she closed her eyes and smiled.......


And that was the pose I drew :)

But, somehow it didn't work. I think it was because I'd decided to work in natural light and it faded as I drew, so the lighting wasn't definite, but too defused. The picture was...................ok. Not good, but ...........ok.

This time when I saw her, I knew exactly what I wanted to do with her. I wanted her flat on her back with her legs in the air.

And I'd try it again. But this time with better fixed artificial lighting. And I'd get it right this time.


So, that is what we did. And I was perfectly happy with that idea. Until I walked past her to get to the power socket to plug the light in.

As I turned, and saw her lying there, with the light on her. I knew I'd made a huge mistake. HUGE!

The pose was far far far better from the other side!!!!!!

So, I set up my easel on the other side of her, and drew her from there.

And here's the picture. Far far better than the first (which I've now ripped up and thrown away!). The picture is simple, and yet effective. Its got some lovely lines in it, and just the basic light catching her womanly body, lighting her breasts, stomach, face and limbs. Its called "Beautiful dreams" and as you look at it, you think its of a woman lying sleeping. Until you find her right hand. And then you smile as you realise what she's doing! LOL

The art of voyeurism

I've had an interesting conversation recently with a friend regarding the joys of voyeurism - we agreed that watching someone else doing something erotic is very sexy. And that got me to thinking about how I would portray that in a drawing........ Its an interesting concept, and since we all like to look at things that are erotic, we ALL do it to an extent......

So I set my model up in a pose that I thought might portray that thought. I liked the shapes that were formed in the composition, I liked the way the light worked within it, and I liked the idea. And it flowed as I drew it so I knew it was working as a concept within the drawing. And as I drew it, I realised that there was one part of the drawing that TOLD the story, and it isn't the obvious bits. The obvious parts are the way she's looking at herself in the mirror, the nape of neck, the way the open blouse is just starting to fall off her shoulder, the way her hand is near her nipple, almost about to brush it. But all of those are a woman looking at herself in a mirror, women do it all the time, there's nothing particularly erotic about that. No....... its the thigh. The fact that when you look at the thigh, you realise she's sitting on the floor, with her leg agape. And that starts to make you think...................why is she sitting on the floor, why is her leg wide open.............where is the other leg.......................................

And then you learn that the drawing is called "Playing to the audience".

And that makes you think even more.................................

What audience? You wonder. Is it herself, is she about to play with herself infront of the mirror?

Or is there someone watching her? Who could that be? A man? A Woman? A group of men? Or women? Or a mixed group?

Or..........................are ..........you............................ the audience?

Is it...........you......................she's doing it for.....................................?

Mmm....... now that's got you thinking hasn't it...............................!

Don't you feel like a voyeur now.............................?

Have I achieved my aim???!!!!! LOL

Decision made whilst injured

I've been working diligently on Fitzys painting, and am delighted that the second working painting is progressing well now I've worked out more or less what I need to do.......! It helps!!!!! LOL It still needs some more work doing on it but at least its going positively in the right direction!


I've not shown you a drawing for a while, and thought I'd show you my latest. I love these white on black images and think this one works particularly well. I had decided that I'd draw my usual model in a wide brimmed hat, and she was still wearing her black bra whilst we were deciding on poses. I liked the basis of the pose but felt it needed a bit of something else, and with the addition of a long scarf, this was it!!!! I loved the pose the instant I saw it - lots of lovely strong diagonals, her face in shadow under the wide brim, her hands on her hips in a defiant pose, and lots of white flesh peeping out from under the clothing, with enough black clothing and shadows to add a lot of interest..................The picture works really well and I really do love it! As for the title, I felt that she was thinking about something with her head held down and her hands on her hips and that she had reached a decision regarding it, and this was what lead to the title - "Decision made" - as to whether the decision was to her choice of clothing at that moment in time, or a deeper and more profound problem, that's for you to decide................


And I think this picture is even more special considering I was injured whilst I drew it!!! I'd burnt my finger just before I was starting to draw and the best thing I was taught for a small burn is bicarbonate of soda held against the damaged skin. This isn't easy when its a finger on your drawing hand and your model has turned up ready for a drawing session! She watched incredulously as I covered half a tissue in the bicarb of soda, wrapped it around my poorly digit and bandaged it up with plasters to keep the whole thing in place. I let her get away with the hysterical laughing at my plight, since it wasn't a bad burn.


My fingers fine now, so the treatment worked! As did the picture. And as is Fitzy's painting. Yay, a hat trick! Yes, I know......................... a pun!!!!!!! :)

Hello, come in, take your clothes off.....

It was good to finally meet Fitzy this week after many emails back and forth and a few phone calls inbetween. I'd got a clearish few of him as a person, and a clear idea of what artwork he wanted from me, and a feeling about his thoughts regarding it. And I knew he was a little nervous at the thought of sitting for me. Its understandable!!! LOL But I try not to be too scary......... and I do know what I'm doing...........and I have had lots of experience of these matters.............. so ... I wasn't nervous, and I knew I had to allay his fears as much as I could.


Its like any new experience, the many thoughts in your head usually outweigh the reality!


So, we finally met, face to face. It was far easier for him to come to me, since I've got all my "tools of the trade" here. First tool ...... a hot drink! Tea for me!!! :) Coffee for him. And a chat, about anything really, because that communication is important for two people to get to know each other, you look at the body language, read the face, listen to the connotation in the voice, look at the eyes, and get to know about the person better. It makes for a good working relationship, for me, certainly. Because if I'm going to paint someone I like to know abit about them, it helps to be able to put that image of the person into the pose for the artwork. I'm not just creating an image, I'm looking for the essence, or soul of the person, to put that in too.....


So, on to work. Fitzy wanted three pieces of artwork doing - he loves the "Living flame" painting and wants a painting of himself done in that style. So, I needed to take photos of him to work from for the painting. It takes a long time to do that style of glazing painting, so its totally impractical to work from life for that painting. So, you would think taking photos would be easy, and it wasn't! Because I had to get the light right, and make sure I picked up the nuances of muscle tone, make sure I'd got all the detail in that I wanted.


Then on to the second piece of artwork that he wants - a Fantasy Willie painting. Infact he will be my first fantasy willie, which I'm very excited about! But because of that, I wasn't fully sure what I was looking for in the photos. With the fantasy fannies, they are abstract in shape to start with, so its easy enough to hide the image in the abstraction. But, a willie is more obvious! So, it took a few photos until I was happy with the image I'd got, and how I was going to create a painting from it! Success!!!


After a short lunch-break, it was time for the main reason for the visit - the sitting, whilst I drew him. I know he's had health problems and the very pose itself was probably going to be difficult for him. We discussed a standing pose as opposed to a sitting pose, and decided on the latter. But when I asked his thoughts on a pose, and he showed it to me, I knew from past experience that he would be in agony within five minutes from it. We discussed ideas and quickly settled on a simple seated pose, that would be comfortable for him, and would show to good effect his long legs. He also wanted a white on black drawing done, and to set up the lighting for those is a bit challenging, as I had to make sure that the light was creating interesting shapes on his skin, without lighting all of his body. This usually entails a low light off to one side, and although I have proper lights on proper stands, it turned out that the light itself had to be on a book, on a larger book, on a low stool, to create the correct lighting to satisfy me!!!! It might look very odd, but it worked!!!! LOL

On to the drawing............... I started with a blank piece of black card, and with a conte pencil in one hand, and a rubber in the other, I started. I know I'm a quick worker, but afterwards when I explained to Fitzy the thought process that had occurred through the drawing, I was surprised myself how much "thinking" I do. I first look at the pose, and work out the angles within it, I look at the blank paper and envisage those angles on it, I measure with my pencil, to make sure that the body that I'm drawing will fit on the paper (I sounds silly, but I've seen enough amateur artists miss out the feet at the bottom of the paper because they've not done this simple exercise!). Then I start to draw, to get the basic overall shape in, check the measurements again, and if need be adjust anything. Then I start to build up the body shape, gently drawing in all of it, slowly, bit by bit, until its all there, and then use the rubber to remove the parts I don't want. These are the bits that cause the interest. The pencil and the rubber working in conjunction with each other, to create the effect I want. And all this is done whilst the model sits still. And it helps enormously if the model CAN sit still. And Fitzy could, beautifully! He's a natural! So that helped greatly, that I could see the tiny details that I needed to put in the drawing to make it interesting.

Whilst all this is going on, I played my "art music" - thumping rock, bouncy pop, throbbing dance music, it all helps me to work quickly and easily and for the creative energies to flow. No music, and I'd be a lot slower!!! Fortunately Fitzy liked listening to it too, and said afterwards that it had helped him to get through the sitting, whilst he played a musical quiz in his head, as to which band was singing which song! He only needed one short break, but was able to sit long enough for me to produce this drawing. Its called "The thinker". I had originally thought that Rodins "The thinker" might be a good pose, but Fitzy thought it might be too reminiscent of Bruce Forsyth! MMM...I know what he means!!! LOL Anyway, here is the image I did of him.......

We sat chatting afterwards, about all sorts of things, and that was good to do. I know exactly how I'm going to do the paintings now and can't wait to get started on them......


Since then, Fitzy has emailed me to say a lot about his experience of being drawn by me, and is happy for me to quote some of them here:


"I was drawn to the title of one of your recent blog entries “Empowered” and it certainly was an empowering experience, but really it was so much more than that, I felt a great sense of achievement in becoming part of something that will last, well longer than me really.


I also found it a rather liberating experience as well.


.....your mention of a friend that works as a therapist, and they thought your Fantasy Fanny paintings could work well in a treatment room as a means of improving body image and perception about an intimate area of the body..... Anyway, that struck a chord with me as I have always had a very negative view of myself for all manner of reasons .... but I do feel so very positive about what I was able to achieve on Thursday and this is thanks in no small part to you. Now whether there will be any lasting benefits of course remains to be seen, but for the moment at least I really do feel very pleased and proud about what I have achieved and your drawing of me really is so much better than I could of ever hoped for, so thank you so very much for that and it was worth it at any price.

That reminds me of something I said to you a while ago when I joked about paying you thousands of pounds and do you know what, it really would have been worth it.

The day really did have such a profound effect on me and for that I will always be grateful, so thank you very much".

So, it looks like I didn't scare him, too much, and he, like my previous sitters, have found it a very positive and uplifting experience! That's good then!!!! That makes me happy.

Stuart

Now we've got Christmas out of the way, I thought I'd share with you the letter I've had from the chap I drew the other week. He's happy for me to show his letter here, as well as the drawings I did of him....

Dear Jackie

I have knocked out this piece about the sitting at your home on December 3rd. I have allowed my memories to filter down over the weeks and have tried to make them representative of my experience. Should you like to use it in your blob (or is it blog) please free free. Everyone who has seen the drawings are impressed by them both the quality of your work and my temerity in being pictures in such a way (as they think) and the audacity of my showing them with great pride.

Regards Stuart

..... For some time now I have entertained the idea of commissioning a life study of myself by a competent artist although I am aged 72 but in fairly good shape. My resolve to accomplish this ambition was accentuated when I attended a life class workshop. I was was enthralled by the craft of the male nude model and his ability to remain absolutely still for very long periods. "I would like to try that myself", I thought and so I enquired as to the possibility of finding a local artist who would be willing to execute the commission. A few weeks later I received a recommendation for Jackie Adshead, a professional, versatile artist who specialises in erotic art.

I contacted Jackie by phone and she agreed to undertake the commission as soon as she had reduced her current workload.

One thing I have lacked during my lifetime is super confidence. As soon as I had realised I would be posing nude feelings of apprehension engulfed me. Would I have the nerve to divest myself of clothing in front of a woman and an attractive one, as I later found out. Only my wife had seen me naked since I reached adulthood except for a few medical men and women. However, when the day arrived to visit Jackie at her home for the sittings, I was strangely calm. She ushered me in and made me feel at home with her friendly, confident, professional approach which installed confidence in me. We had a short general conversation before she showed me some of her beautiful work and described some of the media in which she worked. I elected to have two drawings in graphite on A3 paper. We decided that the first pose would be seated and reading a book. The second would be on a couch with me in a supine position. Jackie decided that a standing pose might prove difficult and tiring for a beginner.

In the drawings I wanted to make a statement:- "This is me as God made me and I have nothing to hide or be ashamed". I would also ask Jackie "What do you see" and the answer would be in her depiction. My desire was to see myself as others see me and not through the lens of a camera. The drawings must be frank as I did not want any coyness or false modesty in them.

With the chair in which I was to pose in place the moment of truth had arrived for me to take the plunge and divest myself of my clothing. The degree of success in Jackies introduction could be judged by the confident way I walked nude across the room to assume my pose. It was strange, however, to be walking naked in someones home in front of a woman I had only known for a hour. Jackie had provided some of my favourite music as background, predominently the works of Beethoven. I also had a pleasant view through the window of the garden. We engaged in pleasant general conversation as Jackie worked and it soon became clear that we had enjoyed a common interest in local and social history. The conversation only flagged when Jackie was engaged in the execution of a challenging piece of drawing that demanded full conversation.
The time flew by and after about a hour and three quarters the first drawing was complete. My only inconvenience experienced during the time was the pressure points on my back caused by the chair became noticable. It amazed me that I had sat for that length of time and only noticed my lack of clothes when I glanced down. We had a break between poses when we enjoyed a cup of tea. I was so used to being nude that I did not bother to get dressed for such a short time. During the sitting no sexual thoughts crossed my mine. There is great beauty and innocence in the human body. At no time did I feel vulnerable as I trusted Jackie implicitly. Perhaps before a class of students I might be less comfortable.

The second drawing took only just a bit more than a hour. Both the drawings are magnificent and the more I see them the more I like them and they are among my most treasured processions. Not only has Jackie captured the essential me but also the essence of human nature with all its mysteries.

All in all, it was a very interesting and intriguing experience which I surprisingly enjoyed. I would certainly pose again. One occurence amused me when I was getting myself in position for the second pose. Jackie requested "Could you lower your right leg, I cannot see your genitals", It took me totally by surprise. I met Jackie a few days later and she recognised me fully clothed!

Thank you Jackie. I will never forget you!

Whatever turns you on

I've had a few conversations this week with different people, talking about what I do as an Erotic Artist, and a couple of times I've found myself saying "And I look at a naked body I'm drawing in exactly the same way that I look at a vase of flowers or milk jug, and get turned on by them as much as I do looking at a vase of flowers or a milk jug - which is not at all!" (just incase you're thinking I'm some sort of weird woman who has a strange attraction for erotic tea parties with milk jugs!). Twice I've been told this week that I have an interesting life as an Erotic Artist, and I would agree that I have, but drawing naked bodies is "Work" as far as I'm concerned, and nothing else. Having said that if I'm not "working" I can look at a body and find it very attractive, sometimes. I suppose it depends on which part of my brain is working - "work" or "pleasure". I know Lucy Felthouse has been asked the same sort of questions - whether she gets turned on by her erotic stories, and the answer is "No", and I can see why she says that. So is it a draw-back (if you'll excuse the pun!) that the sort of images that turn a lot of people on, leave me cold? Other people look at my images and get turned on, I look at them and admire a certain shade of colour within the picture, or the way a line is drawn.... but then I'm analysing them as work! :)

Good etiquette

Its an odd profession, being an Erotic Artist. I recognise it as being odd. This week for example, a man I'd never met before came to my house, and within an hour of walking through the door, he's stark naked. That's got to be odd, hasn't it? He also announced, before he got naked, that the only woman to see him naked, was his wife of 48 years. And now me. So it was a big thing for him to do. He said he felt trepidation before he arrived. I can understand that. It may be normal for me to be around naked people, but not everyone else is used to it. But after an hour of us chatting, and getting to know each other, he felt comfortable about taking his clothes off, and I politely turned away whilst he did. He settled in the seated pose we'd previously discussed, and we chatted whilst I drew him. And by the time I'd finished the drawing, he felt totally at ease, to the point that he was happily naked whilst we discussed the next pose and went straight into it. This pose was his choice, as he wanted a lying down pose. So he lay as he had envisioned the pose, and asked me what I thought of it. I said quite matter-of-factly "Well, I can't see your genitals in that position" which amused him, and he shifted his position slightly, so that I could. He sniggered about that comment, as I drew him. And I said that I had presumed that was the point of the pose, that I could see them, and draw them accordingly! And he agreed, it was! We chatted alot about many subjects, he's a very interesting man whose lived an interesting life, and likes to try new experiences, which is why he finds himself in his 70's naked in my house!

He rang me the next day to say how pleased he was with the pictures I'd done of him, and the experience of it. Which was good to hear. He said he'd been in a local shop that morning and said to the shop assistant who he knows quite well "I was in this woman's house yesterday and she said to me, 'I can't see your genitals with your leg in that position'!!! "......... Mmmm... I think he's going to be getting a lot of mileage out of this new experience! It also turns out that a very good friend of his is another artist who I know quite well, and they are going to be having dinner together with their wives before Christmas, I can imagine that over the soup he's going to be saying "I was at this woman's house the other day and she said to me.... "I can't see your g....."!!!!

A change is as good as a rest

Since I first started doing the Fantasy Fannies a couple of months ago, all I've been thinking about is them . Female art. Very abstract feminine female art. But this week brings with it the wind of change, and I am now involved in some masculine art. I have been asked to draw a guy. He's never been drawn naked before, but he's interested in art and has decided that he would like to be drawn. He's led an interesting life, and I think he will enjoy this experience. He wants a woman to draw him, rather than a man. And to start with, when I heard that, I wondered if there was an "ulterior motive" - because I am very aware that some guys might think that if there's a woman who's an erotic artist drawing them, then they might get more than a painting out of it! So I have to make that clear from the start, that it is "work" for me, and it will be "hard work" for them. He understands that. He says he is feeling some trepidation at meeting me. I can understand that, its a new experience for him. Its all quite normal for me. But drawing him will be a first for me - he's a chap in his 70's, and when he asked me if I'd ever painted a pensioner before, I had to say I hadn't!

And to add to this, this morning I had a younger guy ring me wanting me to do a "bedroom picture" for him. We were on the phone for an hour, and it took a lot of gentle chit-chat to find out what he wanted exactly. He probably has never had the sort of conversation we had, before, and I must admit it struck me as amusing and novel! Because his "bedroom picture" was more than just a sensual nude sitting in a chair, artfully lit. He was a bit more specific than that. He wanted a woman in the picture, a woman with very large breasts, and he wanted her "doing something" - ok, I agreed, I could do that. What exactly did he imagine she was doing? Well, it seemed he wanted her doing something quite specific, to a man to be exact. And he wanted the man to be himself. Ok, I see, well yes, that was possible, I could do that, and agreed it was indeed a "bedroom picture"! He said he was happy to pose for the drawing, which helps, because if I'm drawing him, it might as well be him. He's never posed before, and thought that the opportunity would be "good" for him. I can see that he might think that! But I made it very clear that it was highly unlikely that I was going to find a model, a) specifically one who fits his description of the woman of his dreams, who was b) going to pose, and c) going to do what he specifically wanted. But the point is that I can take various images from various sources and put them all together, to compose the image he wants. So I probably deflated his fantasy, in reality anyway. But I know I can create it on paper for him. And that's what I do. I paint peoples dreams. He's come to me with an idea, and we've discussed it, I can picture it, he can picture it, so now I have to get inside his head, and draw that image on paper so that everytime he looks at it on his bedroom wall, he feels hot and horny, looking at that image................................. Should be fun! :)

But I get the impression from the conversations with these two guys, that they feel happier being drawn by a woman artist , than a male artist. And I can understand that, most hetrosexual men don't seem to be happy being naked infront of another man. They feel more comfortable with a woman.... it makes sense....... and gives me more work!

Flowing

When it flows, it flows. When its hard work it shows. It's better when it flows, and for me its better when the whole thing just flows in one easy liquid movement. What on earth are you talking about, you're now asking yourself, cos it all sounds cryptic so far! Well, I'll explain....... sometimes I'll see something that will inspire me to paint an image. Sometimes I'll hear something that will give me an idea for a painting. Sometimes a painting will go well and I'll paint it easily. Sometimes it can take me days to think of a good title for one of my paintings. But occasionally, and it is occasionally, the whole thing will just come to me in one nice fluid moment. I'll have the idea, the notion of how I'm gonna paint it and even the title for it, all at once! Wow! Big WOW!!! And this week when I saw my model I had no idea of what pose I was going to draw her in. Sometimes I know instantly, sometimes she'll come up with an idea and I'll modify it to fit with how I want to draw her. Sometimes, like this week, I'll be struggling to come up with something. Then I came up with the pose, a good one I thought, but because it had taken me a few minutes to think of it, and I'd said something cheeky to her like "Come on then, get yer kit off!" she had answered me in a cheeky way and as she was undoing her jeans she stuck her arse out at me, as well as laughing, as she looked back at me over her shoulder! "That's it!" I said "Hold it there, that's the pose!" and drew her in that position, and laughed to myself in delight. She asked what was funny and I said "I've got a title for it already!" "What?" she asked. "Kiss my ass!!" I replied! And that was it - pose chosen, title chosen, picture drawn, all very quickly, and I'm even delighted with the result! It works well, has just enough in it for the viewer to know what its about, the only detail is the arse itself, since it's in pride of place, both in the drawing and the title! And I really like it because it's got ATTITUDE!!!!

Popping corks

The last few weeks have been busy and for various reasons I've not been able to see my model to do any erotic drawings. So, it was good to see her this week and get a picture down on paper. I thought it would be good to use a prop with her, and to hint at another person she was interacting with, even though the other person can't be seen within the drawing.... and it struck me that a bottle of champagne and two champagne glasses might just do it! The minute I saw what underwear she was wearing it also gave me the idea of how the composition of the image should be. Her black bra perfectly framed her breasts, giving them a lovely lift and rounded shape and this lead on to the idea for the next stage. It seems to me that a champagne bottle is deeply erotic when used in conjunction with a half dressed woman, particularly the phallic shape of the bottle, so I got her to lean forward so that it was almost framed between her breasts....... leading onto the thought of what would be happening next if it wasn't just a bottle she was holding in her hand........... And I know the idea of a popping champagne bottle actually leads on to that thought too! So the drawing is called "Come join me" - which amuses me greatly!


And also whilst I'm talking of celebrating and erotic art, I've been in communication with dj kirkby regarding the erotic landscape I'm painting for her. Over the past few weeks, I've come up with a few ideas, and told her of them, and drawn her a few sketches from my ideas, and shown them to her, and listened to her thoughts and suggestions, and gone away and thought some more, and drawn some more, and shown her the next stage, and we've discussed it, and I could see what she meant if she any criticisms she had of it, and have adjusted them and created a better picture through it....... and you know what? I love the design I've finally come up with! Its taken a long time to get to it, because its so challenging - to paint a picture that looks like a landscape. AND to paint a picture that looks like an erotic couple. Both difficult enough things to do on their own - BUT THEN, I've got to interact them so that they work in conjunction with each other at the same time! Now, THAT'S a challenge!!! But...... after working hard on it, thinking alot about it, and sitting down and working through the designs, I've come up with a good image - it works well as a landscape AND as an erotic couple, I've worked out the tones and composition, I've worked out where to incorporate the clever artistic bits that give a picture that "zing" and now i've got to work out the colours for it....... So, the next stage is to sit down with my palette and mix up some colours, see how they interact with other colours and get them down on paper to see the effect. And then...... after all this, comes the good bit ......... I get to paint the actual picture!