When even my laid back sympathetic open mindedness isn't enough

She googled "Artists in Staffordshire" and my name came up.

I'm still not quite sure why, since I don't live in Staffordshire.

But, nevermind, work is work, and I know people find me from various places.

She chose me because she bought the house she currently lives in from someone also called Adshead, and the name seemed familiar to her.

She found my artwork on another site and liked what she saw.

We spoke a couple of weeks ago and she told me what she wanted.

A drawing of herself, in the nude, but discreet. As a present for her husband to celebrate their first year of marriage since Paper is the wedding anniversary gift for one year.

What a wonderful gift, I told her. Ideal, and different, and totally apt!

She came to my house yesterday to discuss it further. And to pose for me.

I showed her other pictures I had done, of other women in the nude. I talked about my huge experience. I talked about past drawings and paintings I had done of other people. I talked of the reasons why they wanted their particular pictures doing. I talked about nervous people I had drawn who felt afterwards that it was therapeutic to be drawn by me. I talked about my various and many experiences. I talked about how open minded I was. I talked about how used to seeing naked people I was. I talked about the fact that naked people are the same as a vase of flowers/bottle of milk/house in my world and I treat them all as objects to be drawn regardless of what they are. I talked about the fact that all women look beautiful. I talked about being comfortable in your own skin. I talked about all manner of things to make her feel relaxed.

But none of them were enough.

She just wasn't happy taking all her clothes off for me.

To be able to draw her.

Which made the fact she wanted a nude drawing of herself slightly more difficult to achieve.

But......

She is happy to send me photos of herself. In the nude.

Which helps enormously.

But in a way I feel I've let her down somehow.

Because, I've never had this happen to me before.

I can usually calm people with their experience of posing nude for me.

They find it a positive and uplifting experience and feel happier within themselves that they have taken that difficult and challenging step to disrobe and pose for me.

But, this one didn't.

But what's it like?

Some things have a definite answer. Particularly when it comes to time...... how long does it take to soft boil an egg? How long will it take to drive to Edinburgh? When's tea? How long will it take you to get ready? (well.. ok, that's EASY for a man to answer, but not a woman, certainly, its a bit more...er..... fluid!!).

So, when my new muse asks me how I will draw her, I can't answer fully. Because I don't know how long it will take.  Its not that I don't have the experience, because I have. Loads of it. Years of figure and life drawing. So, maybe that's why I know that I don't know (if you know what I mean!).

It depends on the model, it depends on the pose, it depends on what I'm trying to capture, it depends on how inspirational I'm feeling, and how inspirational the model is feeling. If they've had a shit day, the kids are playing up, they've got a full bladder, and want to get home to watch "Strictly come dancing", then they're not going to be serene and calm. And for me to draw well, I need a model who can sit happily for a while, whilst we listen to some rock or dance music, and whilst I draw them. So, I'll try my best to find a pose that is comfortable. And that the room is warm. And that they're not going to get pins and needles or cramp within five minutes of me starting. We all want a nice working environment to work in, to achieve the best we can of the circumstances. So, if the model has got some music that they really like, and they're feeling sensual and sexy, and are willing to sit for a bit whilst I draw them, then that's ideal. If we can arrange it. And that's presuming that the model can sit still. I've drawn some people who can sit still endlessly in a slightly difficult pose, with a bad back, on a cold day, on a hard surface. But I've also drawn people who can't. They can only sit for five minutes before they start asking me "Have you almost finished?" or they get light headed and keel over because their legs have locked. But, that is an extreme reaction and usually the reason for that is medical. So, I need to be aware of what people can do, before I start to draw them. And I know I'm fast at drawing. If I had to do a set of five minute sketches, I could do that (with the right tools -  for instance, it'd have to be with a lump of chalk rather than a fine pointed pencil to get the quick soft essence rather than the sharp specifics of the details of the face and body). Sometimes working fast like that can create some surprisingly lovely but simple pictures.  

Anything is possible really. But conjecture is one thing. Actually doing it, will prove the point far better. So long as the model is happy, I can work around the situation. I've done it enough times, to know......

And I want it to be a happy experience for her - one that she enjoys and finds pleasureable. 

Recollections of the collection

As I had fully expected, the postman arrived today bearing a long letter from Stuart writing about his experience of commissioning me to do the cheeky cards artwork for him. He has given permission for me to print the pertinent parts of it here.......


Dear Jackie

Enclosed are my recollections of the production of the wonderful cards. They are absolutely brilliant.
I do not have a favourite at the moment but no doubt one will emerge. Many thanks for your patience over this project. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.
....

A few months ago I conceived the idea of having a few greetings cards produced to send to friends.


I wanted the cards to be well composed and amusing. The theme was to be me in the nude in four poses. As I am 73 years old, part of the humour is concerned with my age and also my sex as I consider the male genitalia must have been designed by someone who was a practical joker.


Who could produce these cards? Of course the answer was you as only 18 months previously you had depicted me in the nude in two beautiful drawings of which I am extremely proud. I knew from that experience that as well as being an accomplished artist, you are also a very delightful person, very patient, enthusiastic and encouraging. I would not have to divest myself of all clothing for a stranger which I find a bit of a trial.

When I rang you to tell of my intentions and would you be interested in the project your answer was an emphatic ‘yes’.


I next visited you and I ran through my ideas and we discussed the pictures and captions to accompany them.

We agreed on four cards, two to be quite innocuous, one explicit depiction and the other less so.
We started with the standing back view of my bum. I soon found that it is hard work to stand very still for any length of time. It takes physical endurance and concentration.


Before the second pose was taken up I spent some time walking round your studio naked. I find it extraordinary that in the presence of an attractive woman there was no sexual feeling at all, not even a twitch!


I took the opportunity of having a look at the first drawing. I thought “Hello cheeky don’t you have a beautiful bottom” as it was quite attractive to me. I have not seen much of my bum during my life. Anyway we carried on before I fell in love with myself.


The next pose was to be standing, holding the triangle infront of me. During the pose I could see you occasionally holding your pencil at arms length and I thought “I wonder what she is measuring now”. That’s a typical male thought as we, as a sex, think that all females are full of admiration for the beauty and magnificence of our primary sex organ.


...looking forward to our meeting the following week.


When the day arrived we started with the ‘long johns’ pose.....there was no problem in completing the pose as I had a chair to lean on, which made a great difference.

I was surprised when I took my first look at the picture. My genitals, which were the centrepiece of the picture, were quite impressive to me. My reaction was more marked because in the previous ‘triangle’ drawing my parts seemed quite small. That picture is, to me, very funny because of the position of my penis in conjunction with the triangle which makes it look like a company logo.

Earlier I had informed you of my doubts about doing the ‘organ’ picture but you persuaded me to do it. It proved very easy to do and it is an image I like.

When I picked up the completed cards I was thrilled with them. They are my personal statement and unique gift to my friends and family. I left the captions off as I prefer to use different ones to different people.


As usual, I am in awe of your talent as an artist and it has been my great good fortune to have met you. I have learned much about myself and a little bit about you and your art.


My confidence has been much enhanced. The days have gone when I considered doing a course in self-confidence but didn’t because I was afraid to register.

I hope the six foot tall model I dated and who made mock of my “equipment” by saying, when I told her I wanted sex with her, replied, “If you do and I find out there will be trouble”.

Love Stuart

 
(as usual, and much to my amsement, he has completed his letter with a joke. It made me smile for the rest of the afternoon, after reading it....) LOL

Thanks for making my life a bit more enjoyable

Stuart arrived with flowers for me - Camelias from his garden, the first blooms of joyous pink and vibrant red. Aw, how sweet, and much appreciated. I put them in water as we chatted and I made him tea.

The pose this time didn't need much discussion, it had been described to me on the previous visit, so all we needed was to make sure he'd got his prop for it. Yep, in the most fetching shade of delicate pale blue........long johns! :)

I'm not sure why long johns are funny on their own, but they are. I defy ANYONE to look sexy in them. But then the whole purpose of them isn't to look sexy, but to be kept warm, and they do the job admirably. However, the reason for the pose was the fact that they have an open fly - and if the male genitals aren't peroperly, er......... looked after, they have a .......habit, of............well................ falling out! :)

And that was the purpose of the pose - the falling out of the genitals whilst wearing them!

So not a lot needed setting up except that in itself. We discussed the wearing of a vest too, and decided that that needed to be worn to add to the silliness of the pose. Because at no point does Stuart want to be taken seriously about this. It's all about the humour, the comical aspect of it, the joke, the silliness. I understand all of that.

We set the pose up, and I put on Vivaldi's Four Seasons, another piece of classical music that I love, and since Stuart only really listens to classical music, a better choice for him than me blasting out my usual choice of AC/DC or the Rolling Stones! LOL

The pose was good and I got on well with the drawing. We chatted as I drew, and he was amazed at how quickly I did it. But then, I'm a quick drawer, and there's no point in making him uncomfortable because it only drags out the time for him, and if he's cold, unhappy or uncomfortable, it hampers the drawing session and defeats the object.

The title of the drawing is one of the slogans Stuart had got for it - he'd got four, but this one is my favourite for this pose "Cantankerous Stuart will fall out with anyone".

So, that one done, a short break and on to the next pose - which was going to be done standing in the nude but in the end we decided that a seated pose would probably work better. It was of him sitting, holding a paper a loft in one hand, the other resting in his lap - the title "Stuart holding his favourite organ" (being the paper, in theory!).  Again, this drawing went well and was soon completed without him losing his comfort of the situation. He always tells me how much he likes posing for me, and what an enjoyable experience it is, and how easy my company is, so that's good to hear!

Afterwards, when he was dressed again, and we had a post-pose cup of tea, he sat looking at the pictures and said that it was very narcassistic of himself - but he found that the more he looked at them, the more he liked them. And I nodded in aggreement and said that others had said the same to me in the past about their pictures. I know that my pictures have that affect on people. I love the fact that I can enhance someone's life to a degree by painting, or drawing,  a picture of them. I love the fact that they are invariably fascinated by that talent. I sometimes forget that I have it, until I am reminded of it. Stuart would like to draw but tells me that he will never be able to, certainly not to the standard he would like. He tells me it's something you're born with, and it has to be worked at to improve on it. I agree, since that is what I have, and what I do.

So, when I received an email today from another guy who loves collecting my erotic artwork, and finds it very sexy, and he said "Thanks for making my life a bit more enjoyable", I nodded to myself, and smiled in quiet satisfaction, of a job well done.

Letters sent from the heart

As I had expected I had a missive from Stuart this week describing his feelings about our drawing session the other day and his thoughts about the next one.... the salient points are here.....

Dear Jackie     Thankyou for the beautiful drawings you created yesterday. It was an enjoyable and interesting afternoon if rather arduous. I did not realise how exhausting posing can be. I suppose that, at my age, my stamina is not what it was. Well I am a septinagenarian......Next week I would like to concentrate on the pose concerning long johns....as this will probably be my last as a top model, I would like to make it memorable and amusing......thank you for your diligence in this matter. For me it has been a wonderful experience. I find you the most easy person to get on with making so easy the removal of clothes.    Love Stuart.  


And this followed on from an email I had this week from my usual male model who also felt the need to extol my virtues after our last drawing session...

Good morning Jackie and thank you for another wonderful drawing!!


It just makes my head spin!!!

Once again I must thank you for the fabulous emotions the picture evokes, especially on a personal level. Our meetings are so wonderfully relaxing and I always look forward to them, excited about the drawing but also to share some time with you. I wonder how the Mona Lisa felt to see her painting? The knowledge that it is you in the picture is a tremendously powerful emotion. For a normally quiet and modest person, it is a huge sense of achievement to stand before you, the focus of your attention. For such a wonderfully skilled artist to spend time with me and to be a small part of your work is such a priveledge. I enjoy every moment. When others see the pictures you have created, they see a male form, beautifully drawn and certainly there is that warmth about them - the 'feminine touch' as you said. I wonder what they see? Powerful images certainly. Do they see me as the generally reserved kind of chap that I am, or because I am naked, do they see a more brazen type of character, eager to show his 'bits'? No matter how often I look, I think they see the real me ... the drawings are so tender that there is that sense of quiet allure about them, all things showing or not.


This drawing, perhaps more than the others (because of their more explicit nature), would stand well in any gallery and it makes me immensely proud to think that it could be seen in a public gallery without any problem at all. Proud because of the quality of the work (you really should see some of the poor efforts I have seen about my travels) but especially proud of the moments we shared creating the work. Somehow "Thank you" doesn't seem enough.

I am sure I will see you soon for another drawing and I look forward to that.
K



Aw, I'm really touched by both of these letters. I sometimes forget what I do for other people when I do a drawing of them. Here I am reminded, and deeply touched at their kind words.

Stuarts first bum notes

Stuart arrived yesterday full of the joys of Spring and ready to start our first drawing sesssion for this latest project with me. Accompanying him was his usual voluminous bag containing amongst other things, the first of the two props needed for the drawings. But first, time for a cup of tea and general discusssion regarding the placing of the items. It wasn't difficult really - the first one was a hat and there aren't many places to put those.....................LOL

So, the pose decided, the prop decided, the music chosen (Beethovens symphonies 3 and 9 - the latter because I absolutely adore "Ode to joy" and he'd stated he liked "any Beethoven"), so now it's time to draw. He easily took his clothes off as I set up my easel and sharpened my pencils, and again commented that he'd never been naked infront of any woman ever but his wife of 50 years, so I know it was a big thing for him to do, but since it's quite normal for me to see naked bodies I just treated him the same with his clothes off, as I did when they were on which I know made him feel totally at ease.

So, into the pose, wearing the trilby hat he'd brought with him - wearing nothing BUT the hat - standing with his back to me. The title of the pose being "Does my bum look big in this?" which greatly amuses me every time I read it. But then, that was the whole point of what he was aiming at - humour, a bit of naughtiness, and certainly some shock factor. We chatted as I drew and listened to the beautiful music. I usually prefer drawing to raunchy rock but I managed ok with the gentle drawing I was doing, it all fitted together well, somehow.

After a brief break we were ready to do the next drawing, and after some deliberation he decided to do it sitting down, as Stuart wasn't happy standing for another length of time, after standing for the first pose. I'm a quick drawer but he'd still struggled with it a bit so it made sense to make this pose more comfortable for him as I knew it would take a bit longer as it was slightly more complex and there was no point in  making him uncomfortable during it. He'd decided to pose with a musical triangle - partly because he'd played one whilst at school during music lessons, but also because of the joke that was the slogan for this particular drawing - the title being "Stuart - hiding his modesty behind his favourite musical instrument" - and he'd specifically asked that his genitals were framed in the triangle that he was holding. Ok, then, no problem. It meant he had to hold the triangle in a certain position, and I had to sit in a certain position infront of him to get the illusion right, but we did that, and it worked beautifully. To the point that he gasped when he saw the finished drawing, and commented on the frame the triangle made - which made me laugh and retort "But that's what you asked for, and what I've done!" "I know" he said "But I didn't think it would look like THAT!" - but after staring at the picture for a few minutes he stated he was delighted with it, as he also was with the first drawing, so we're well on the way to completing the set for the cards he wants me to make for him.

Fully satiated

Sometimes it's difficult to make arrangements to have a drawing session with a model, it's like any other business arrangement, where you have to find compatible days and times to suit both parties. But once done, its easy to keep to that arrangement. But also it has to be borne in mind that sometimes the model might be expecting business calls of their own, and might want to keep their mobile switched on during the time they are with me. It's not a problem......... we can work around it.

Since the last three drawings I've done of him are telling part of a story, I wanted to carry on that aspect of the series. The first drawing "Opening gambit" shows a man offering himself with no complications, relaxed and at ease. The second drawing "Feel the need" shows him lying on a settee, still relaxed but with his hand lying on his upper thigh, the need within him rising. Which leads to the third drawing "Caught in the act" as he is half turned away from the viewer, as he starts to masturbate, the need within him quite obvious. The amount of interaction with the viewer for them to decide.  So...............how to depict the fourth drawing? I discussed my thoughts with my model. The most OBVIOUS pose would be to show him at the point of orgasm, with nothing left to the imagination, but I thought that that in a way would coarsen the series. I didn't need to draw the most obvious pose, I could do it in a far more subtle way - at the point when he has already achieved his orgasm, whether or not he was on his own (and that is for the viewer to decide how much they have interacted with him............). And to show him lying face down on a rumpled bed, the hint of a dint in the pillow next to him of maybe where another has just lain............. that would complete the series in a far better way. Of course, the picture on its own just looks like a man sleeping, and that in itself is a nice enough image.

So, the pose was easy, the model was happy, as he could just lie down and try not to fall asleep (the snoring might have put me off!! Ha ha!). It took me a few minutes to sort out the lighting so that I was happy with the effect, then we're off - a simple pose, but saying a lot when viewed with the other drawings. We settled down to the drawing, chatting, and sharing the same humour helps, listening to music, and the odd tutting from me as I try to get the lines to look right on the page. I'm never aware I make noises until someone in the room comments on my sighing, tutting, or gently cursing!

The picture progresses, and I'm happy. I'd almost finished it when his phone rang. He apologised as he answered it but I knew he'd been expecting a business call, and I was more than happy to immediately turn off the loud music, and to keep quiet as he answered his call. Perhaps it's my wicked sense of humour, but it amused me GREATLY that I had a stark naked man in my room having a serious conversation with someone who hadn't got a CLUE what was happening  at this end as they discussed business matters. Oh the joy of mobile phones. And that made me wonder how many people I'd spoken to in the past who might have been doing something equally naughty and I hadn't got a clue at the time! LOL

Back to the pose after the call had ended, and I'm pleased with the way its gone. The light catches the body well, at shoulder and hip. His face is hidden, the front of his body is hidden, but he is in repose, and the image tells the story I wanted it to, with subtlety. I've called it "Satiated" as I think that sums it up well and shows he has done more than *just* sleep.  I love the way the dark areas around the body tell enough of the story, the lost and found edges that make the picture look more appealing. And I think it's a fitting end to the series of drawings............

Feeling the need

The second time he took his clothes off for me he was far more relaxed. He'd enjoyed the first experience so much that he told me he'd found a new hobby! He found the experience of sitting naked in my company to be liberating, and thoroughly enjoyable he said, but I wasn't to think that he would do it for just ANYBODY - it was something he was happy to keep for me alone. And I was very touched by that sentiment. Because I know its not easy. And he's not done it before for anyone else.

I don't think I could do it, and sit still for that time, and I'd  be sure to get an itch or feel a draught. So because of that I'm aware of my models needs, of making sure they feel happy and relaxed and enjoy the experience as much as possible. It's in my interests to do so - because a happy model will sit still for as long as I need them to. But its more than that too - its having a rapport with the model. Since you're sitting in the same room together, albeit one of you naked and the other one drawing the nakedness. It helps if you actually like each other. It doesn't have to be a stony silence. It doesn't have to be clinical and detached. Its better for me if I feel relaxed, and at ease too. A happy artist makes happy art. So, if there's a bit of chit-chat that's nice as well.  If there's some music to help me draw that helps too. If its got a good beat to it, that helps  enormously for me. If the model likes the same music, then that improves the whole thing. And when the model announces after listening to Bryan Adams that it was ok but what he really likes is Paul Rogers then that makes me a VERY happy bunny!!!!!! YAY!!!! We like the same music! And added to all that, it helps if you have a similar sense of humour. Something to smile about, and share the smile together. And having an ease of personalites helps too .............So when you're hesitating over the pose and you're not quite sure how to voice your concerns and the model says "Do you want me to move my cock, Jackie?" that helps a lot too!!!!! :)

The pose this time was a nice relaxed diagonal one, with the model semi lying on a sofa. His weight resting on his left arm, one leg slightly curled under him, his right hand lying on his upper thigh, his face turned to the viewer but the expression enigmatic. He is certainly aware of the viewer. But then you find that the title of the drawing is "Feel the need" and you think "What need would that be then?" and you look a little closer and realise that its that right hand that's about to do something. But what? What need is rising within him? MMmmmm....?

Friends and posing

I've been more aware this week than any other of the good friends I've made through being an Erotic Artist. In a strange way, they're all connected this week. Is the Universe pulling them all together for me for some reason? Well.... maybe MY universe is. I think that maybe the case anyway. Its making me look at each friend in turn and see the value I place in each one for their importance in my life. Huge value, each and every one, in their support of what I do, and how I do it. Its a validation that I'm on the right path to have such good friends helping me. And somehow I think its partly because I do the erotic art that I have these friends. If I painted flowers they wouldn't have made the connection with me. I know that for sure! :)

And, after a couple of days searching, I think I've found the image I've been looking for. I've been wanting to do an erotic couple in the "living flame" style of painting, and have been searching around for suitable poses. I didn't expect it to be difficult, but it turned out to be. Because I knew I wanted the couple to be upright for the painting, and that in itself can make the painting too symmetrical and boring. But, I think I've got it now..... a pose with some interest in it, sensual, erotic, and sexy..... yep, that'll do it everytime!!! LOL

Stuarts words

Having received Stuarts article for the local paper, and spoken to him today, I was sorry to hear that the local paper aren't happy about publishing it. Its a shame, as it made me laugh outloud in a couple of places. But, I would like to post it here - and he has given his permission for me to do so. So at least someone gets to read it!!! I write it here in its entireity:

WHAT A POSER

It was Sir Arnold Bax who said that you should try everything at least once during a lifetime, with the possible exceptions of incest and folk dancing. On December 3rd last year I took his advice.
At 2pm on that afternoon I could be found in a room sitting in an armchair clutching a book with a view of the garden through the window. To my left a log fire crackled and the strains of a Beethoven Opus could be heard.
A few feet in front of me sits a beautiful, blond haired woman.
Nothing startling there, you may think.
What is surprising, however, is the fact that I am naked. Not a stitch on. I have even removed my socks, something that few Englishmen would do only in the most extreme circumstances. Even my watch has gone but I do retain my spectacles.
You have guessed it, the blond woman is Mrs. Jackie Adshead, a professional artist, who is doing two life drawings of me. Jackie is a very versatile artist who specialises in erotic art.
What possessed me to pose nude, you may ask. A few weeks prior to this my wife and I had attended a life drawing workshop held locally. We both enjoyed the day but I have very little talent as an artist. I was, however, enthralled by the model who could adopt difficult poses and hold them for long periods. He was certainly a master of his craft. "I would like to try that", I thought as I have few hang-ups about my body.
I mentioned this to the tutor who said that she could probably find someone to give me the chance. A short time later she put me in touch with Jackie.
Initially I spoke to her on the phone and she came over as a confident and efficient woman with a sense of humour. She said that she would be pleased to fulfill my wish to be portrayed nude in the next few weeks.
On Monday December 1st Jackie rang to ask if I would be available for a sitting at her studio on the following Wednesday at 1pm. "I can certainly do that" I replied, "I have very little on that day". "A few minutes here and you will have nothing on", she chuckled.
I turned up punctually if apprehensively, for the appointment. I wondered what she would look like. I was hoping that she would be a plain, dowdy woman.
I rang the doorbell and a few seconds elapsed before the door opened to reveal a woman with remarkably blond hair and beautiful features. She was a striking looking woman, not what I wanted. I was invited in to her home where she explained what she did and showed me examples of her work. She is certainly a very good artist.
She asked me what I would like done and I requested two drawings using conte crayon on A3 paper. The poses were of me sitting, as previously indicated, and one of me lying supine on a couch. They must be explicit as I did not want a coy representation of me. After all, Newhall men don't do anything half cock!
She explained that the fact that I would be nude meant nothing to her. She could as well be looking at a milk bottle. "Thanks for that", I thought.
During this conversation my confidence grew due to Jackie's confident business like manner and friendly approach. In short, we got on very well.
When the moment of truth arrived I had no inhibitions of removing my clothing. Self confidence is not my main trait but I strode to my chair to assume the pose chosen with assurance.
It did seem strange to be sitting in a room without clothing, with a lady present. After only a few minutes I had grown so accustomed to nudity that I had to look down to confirm my state of undress. The sight of certain familiar bits and pieces assured me that I was totally exposed.
As the drawing was underway we had an interesting conversation and found that we shared several mutual interests and a similar sense of humour.
Jackie suddenly looked up and announced that the drawing was complete. Although it had taken about 1 1/2 hours the time had flown by.
At that point we had a break for a cup of tea and a leg stretch. As it was to be only a short recess I did not trouble to don any garments. My confidence was now so high that I stood talking to Jackie without any embarrassment and also took a walk down the hall to the toilet. I vividly recall hurrying back and swinging into the studio.
Jackie informed me that the second drawing would not take as long as she had got my body shape. Is the technical term the "angle of the dangle?"
On the resumption I took my supine pose on the couch making sure that the position was comfortable. Having settled myself Jackie called out, "Could you lower your right leg please? I cannot see your genitals". When I was a teenager and a regular at the "Rink" dance hall I would have been elated if a girl had made that request. Unfortunately that was over 50 years ago.
As she had prophesied this drawing only took just over the hour and the time flew by.
And so my debut as a nude model came to an end. At the age of 72. It's never too late! I had enjoyed the experience, surprisingly, but I did appreciate Jackie's efforts to make me comfortable in the role. It was a strangely liberating event for me with no feeling of vulnerability which I had expected.
The drawings are magnificent and rate amongst my most valued acquisitions. She has done the "family jewels" proud. Generally women like them very much but men are generally sniffy about them.
Incidently I met Jackie in the street a few days late and she recognised me clothed. She is also a good friend of mine now.
Stuart Haywood.

Stuart

Now we've got Christmas out of the way, I thought I'd share with you the letter I've had from the chap I drew the other week. He's happy for me to show his letter here, as well as the drawings I did of him....

Dear Jackie

I have knocked out this piece about the sitting at your home on December 3rd. I have allowed my memories to filter down over the weeks and have tried to make them representative of my experience. Should you like to use it in your blob (or is it blog) please free free. Everyone who has seen the drawings are impressed by them both the quality of your work and my temerity in being pictures in such a way (as they think) and the audacity of my showing them with great pride.

Regards Stuart

..... For some time now I have entertained the idea of commissioning a life study of myself by a competent artist although I am aged 72 but in fairly good shape. My resolve to accomplish this ambition was accentuated when I attended a life class workshop. I was was enthralled by the craft of the male nude model and his ability to remain absolutely still for very long periods. "I would like to try that myself", I thought and so I enquired as to the possibility of finding a local artist who would be willing to execute the commission. A few weeks later I received a recommendation for Jackie Adshead, a professional, versatile artist who specialises in erotic art.

I contacted Jackie by phone and she agreed to undertake the commission as soon as she had reduced her current workload.

One thing I have lacked during my lifetime is super confidence. As soon as I had realised I would be posing nude feelings of apprehension engulfed me. Would I have the nerve to divest myself of clothing in front of a woman and an attractive one, as I later found out. Only my wife had seen me naked since I reached adulthood except for a few medical men and women. However, when the day arrived to visit Jackie at her home for the sittings, I was strangely calm. She ushered me in and made me feel at home with her friendly, confident, professional approach which installed confidence in me. We had a short general conversation before she showed me some of her beautiful work and described some of the media in which she worked. I elected to have two drawings in graphite on A3 paper. We decided that the first pose would be seated and reading a book. The second would be on a couch with me in a supine position. Jackie decided that a standing pose might prove difficult and tiring for a beginner.

In the drawings I wanted to make a statement:- "This is me as God made me and I have nothing to hide or be ashamed". I would also ask Jackie "What do you see" and the answer would be in her depiction. My desire was to see myself as others see me and not through the lens of a camera. The drawings must be frank as I did not want any coyness or false modesty in them.

With the chair in which I was to pose in place the moment of truth had arrived for me to take the plunge and divest myself of my clothing. The degree of success in Jackies introduction could be judged by the confident way I walked nude across the room to assume my pose. It was strange, however, to be walking naked in someones home in front of a woman I had only known for a hour. Jackie had provided some of my favourite music as background, predominently the works of Beethoven. I also had a pleasant view through the window of the garden. We engaged in pleasant general conversation as Jackie worked and it soon became clear that we had enjoyed a common interest in local and social history. The conversation only flagged when Jackie was engaged in the execution of a challenging piece of drawing that demanded full conversation.
The time flew by and after about a hour and three quarters the first drawing was complete. My only inconvenience experienced during the time was the pressure points on my back caused by the chair became noticable. It amazed me that I had sat for that length of time and only noticed my lack of clothes when I glanced down. We had a break between poses when we enjoyed a cup of tea. I was so used to being nude that I did not bother to get dressed for such a short time. During the sitting no sexual thoughts crossed my mine. There is great beauty and innocence in the human body. At no time did I feel vulnerable as I trusted Jackie implicitly. Perhaps before a class of students I might be less comfortable.

The second drawing took only just a bit more than a hour. Both the drawings are magnificent and the more I see them the more I like them and they are among my most treasured processions. Not only has Jackie captured the essential me but also the essence of human nature with all its mysteries.

All in all, it was a very interesting and intriguing experience which I surprisingly enjoyed. I would certainly pose again. One occurence amused me when I was getting myself in position for the second pose. Jackie requested "Could you lower your right leg, I cannot see your genitals", It took me totally by surprise. I met Jackie a few days later and she recognised me fully clothed!

Thank you Jackie. I will never forget you!

Dear Jackie....

I've had a letter from the elderly chap I drew last week saying how much he and his wife love the drawings, and thanking me. He was nervous before he met me but said that his misgivings were entirely misplaced, as my confidence, good humour, talent and friendliness assuaged all his fears! He said that he thought he would feel vulnerable once he was naked but that was not the case and at no point did he feel uncomfortable which speaks volumes for my manner. He found it a remarkable experience and one that he will never forget.

I'm touched that he has taken the time to write to me, and touched by his words.......

All change

Recently I've been looking at a painting I've got in my studio, it's just been propped up against the wall for ages and ages. I did it a couple of years ago and everytime I look at it, something niggles at me that its not quite "right". I haven't been able to tell myself exactly "why" its not quite right, but I just know it IS....... MMm.....

When I saw my model this week she asked what the pose was for the session, and I nodded at this particular painting, since it was of her, and asked her what she felt was "wrong" with it. She looked closer at it, and said that maybe there was "something", but she couldn't say exactly "WHAT". I pushed her for more but she couldn't really tell me more than that, then added "You're the artist, you should know!" and she's right, I am. And I should. Its my painting. I created it. And if its not right, its not right. So, change it! OK. Decision made! But, change it to what? ....MMMmmmm........ More thinking.....

Ok, well, I know I wasn't happy with it being done in acrylics, and felt that it would have been a better painting in oils, so at least it was a start, to do that. Acrylics are often used as a base for oils, so it's quite natural to paint over acylics in oils and let the original colours show through a bit. Ok. Set up the pose again, and paint over the painting in oils. Gulp. Paint OVER? As in lost forever if I get it wrong? Yep! Ok........... If you're sure....................

So, that's what I did. I painted over it, in oils.

And you know what?

It was SSSOOOOOOOOOOoooooooo much better for me doing that! The painting lost its harshness, its half finished look, its gaudy colours and harsh lines. The oils blended on the canvas, the colours were more muted, and so more subtle, the woman in the painting came to life, you could see flesh tones and she looked as if the blood was pumping through her veins. She looked so more sensual and sexy and the whole picture just looked a million times better. WOW!!!! It needs a little bit more work doing on it, fine details in hair and maybe slight changes in the background colours, but its done! Big WOW! I'm so pleased I went with my gut reaction, even if it was a long time coming!

And this week, I've been asked to design a Christmas card, and been given mostly a free reign on designing it except that ideally it should be a pen and ink drawing, and it should feature the crib scene, or the three kings, or the Bethlehem skyline. Ok, sounds interesting. Certainly something different! So, whilst the sun is shining (at last!) on Englands pleasant green lands, and everyone is talking of barbeques and sunbathing, I shall be thinking of Christmas!

Unfinished business

How do you rate a success? How do you decide whether something has gone right? Mmm... not always by the end result, but sometimes by the journey itself, I think. And that is how I view the most recent painting I've done of Hornymaleuk and my female model. The event was a success, the creative process was a success, but at the moment the finished product isn't wholly a success. It certainly needs more work doing on it, and I can possibly do it without the pair of them posing together for me (because due to logistics it may take a while to organise it). So, I may be able to do it by my imagination alone, but I certainly need to think about how to do that as well.............



So, on to the occasion......... it was good to see Hornymaleuk again, since I've not seen him for a few months, and as he and the model have met before there was no need for breaking the ice between them, they know each others personalities and characters well enough. We had a drink to start, which gave us all time to relax, the mutual telling of dirty jokes also helping somewhat!!


Then, the decision regarding the pose. I had come up with a few ideas before seeing them both so we all discussed the possibilities of using them, the pros and cons, the likelihood of aches, pains, muscle cramps and pins and needles ensuing. Then, since my poses were deemed unworkable in the long term, we worked around finding different poses for them to work with. All this was done with their clothes on, with me walking around them looking for the best angles, composition, lighting and "eroticness" of the poses. There's a very fine line between pornographic and erotic. And in turn, erotic and lifedrawing. For instance, if the man in the composition hasn't got an erection, then it can't be erotic, but if he has then it can sometimes be deemed to be pornographic! And since Hornymaleuk and the female model weren't actually going to HAVE sex, I had to give the impression that they WERE whilst they actually WEREN'T. MMMmm....... so, more thoughts regarding the poses working properly as an erotic image.....

FINALLY, we found a pose we were all happy with. Eureka! But even though it takes time, and I know that it usually does, I have to persevere with it because there is absolutely NO point in going for the first pose I think of, if the models are going to be in untold agonies within three minutes of starting it. It's ok for a photographic pose, because the model only needs to hold the pose for a few seconds, but not for an artists model (and I'm a quick painter!).


So, the pose worked fine, mostly, except the female model had to break quite a bit as there was too much pressure on her hands, but on the whole she did really well, and certainly the pose was easier for Hornymaleuk since he most mostly just lying on his back with a luscious woman sitting on top of him. Sigh. And we call this work!


So, do I like the finished picture? Mmmm..... yeeeessssssss, BUT, (and its a big but), the picture isn't finished. So don't view it like it is. Just count this as a work in progress picture, half done, with the gist of the emotions and eroticness of the image, but it is the under painting, leading on to the finished image. It's *part* of the creative process, and I have hesitated and wondered about showing it to you at this stage, because you're BOUND to look at it and think "that's crap". So, don't look at it as DONE, look at it as part of the journey of getting *there*....... where-ever "there" is! And I don't know where it is, until I get there! So, if you're gonna be critical, I'll listen, but with only half an ear................ cos it's only half done.


There's some aspects of it I really love, and some I really hate, some parts need a lot more work doing on them, on some of the lines, and shapes, on the negative shapes, the divisions of colours, the blending of colours, the lighting, the shadows, well, everything, really!!! I love the use of red, cream, black and gold, so I'm happy with the choice of colours at least! and I think it's a powerful pose, and I think it is erotic as a pose!!


And, as a further comment, it was nice after I'd finished painting, to finally relax (because painting is hard work, and I need to fully concentrate when I'm painting) and sit down and share a bottle of wine with Hornymaleuk and discuss our various worlds and the people who inhabit them. And it was really good to chat with a fellow blogger, in real life.

The pull of art

Like the other bloggers, I was touched that Cherrie and Hardin could find time to see me during their short stop-over in England, but I have known for some time that they admire my artwork on many levels, and wanted to see my paintings for real rather than just on the internet, and ask various pertinent questions regarding the creative process and see some of the end results. Plus, what a wonderful opportunity for Cherrie to sit for me, so that I could draw her!

They patiently listened whilst I showed them my vanilla artwork, the landscapes and tigers, surreal and fantasy paintings and I was amazed at how easily they understood some of the concepts I had for some of my more surreal paintings, and could relate to the ideas behind them. They liked the different art techniques I utilise and listened to me explaining how I had created my paintings. After that, and since I still had their interest, we moved on to the erotic artwork, and went through my many varied drawings on that subject, Cherrie in particular making comments relating to some of the poses I had done, and what other ideas I could draw in the future. I'm always interested in other peoples ideas, especially when they are so helpful.

After a short break, Cherrie said she was ready to pose for me. And, what a delightful subject she is to paint, too! Since any readers of her blog will know that she loves to pose for the camera and even though I had a basic idea for the image, I didn't need her to ask how she should arrange herself, she just went naturally into the pose, and all I had to do was sit and draw her! Such an easy model. Obviously, she needs to keep her facial features a secret, so the painting I have done is not a portrait of her as such, but the arched eyebrow and wide smiling mouth are the essence of her, and sufficient to depict her. I knew I wanted to paint such a voluptuous woman in something equally voluptuous, so asked if she'd be happy wearing a fur coat, with a pair of fishnet stockings and black suspenders on underneath, as any other clothes were deemed unnecessary. The fur coat opened beautifully to show her many feminine assets as she lay back in the pose. She was happy with the idea (and before anyone complains, the coat is old, and not real fur, so no fluffy animals were hurt in the making of this blog). I decided to paint her in watercolour as it gave me instant colour which is what I felt I needed for this picture. So after drawing out the outline, I opted for a lovely gold and scarlet background which seemed apt for the subject matter. The use of splatter in the paint adds movement to the figure, and the lovely golden browns of the fur beautifully framed the paler feminine skin beneath it. The fishnet stockings were always going to be difficult to paint, and if I had drawn in each line the picture would have looked heavy and overworked, so I quickly and lightly drew in the black lines with a fine nibbed pen, making sure I left the viewers eye to fill in where the lines don't quite cross over, making the painting far more interesting for it. The burnt sienna I used for her hair also mirrored the colours of the coat and the slash of bright red lipstick at the mouth makes the viewer instantly aware of the woman being confident and alluring and offering an invitation to the viewer. I couldn't help but laugh at the title I have for this painting, as it was so very, deliciously apt!! Its called "Fur coat and no knickers" which is obviously a very English phrase as I had to explain it to the blank look of the American visitors! - it basically refers to a woman with airs and graces, but no real class. Its certainly a sexy picture, and I am delighted with it, but then I had a good model!

We talked also of the Pussy portraits set of paintings that I'm planning on doing, and still in the first stages of working on. Cherrie and Hardin were most interested in the idea. They viewed the first one that I am still currently working on, and still mentally working through the concept of, admiring the strong layout of design and the bright colours I have chosen for this particular painting, so far. They hope that I could get the exhibition to show in the US as well as in England - a wonderful idea, when I've got my collection of them all together.

So, all in all, a very artistically productive visit, and I hope they enjoyed their visit to England to get a glimpse of the English way of life.