Stuarts words

Having received Stuarts article for the local paper, and spoken to him today, I was sorry to hear that the local paper aren't happy about publishing it. Its a shame, as it made me laugh outloud in a couple of places. But, I would like to post it here - and he has given his permission for me to do so. So at least someone gets to read it!!! I write it here in its entireity:

WHAT A POSER

It was Sir Arnold Bax who said that you should try everything at least once during a lifetime, with the possible exceptions of incest and folk dancing. On December 3rd last year I took his advice.
At 2pm on that afternoon I could be found in a room sitting in an armchair clutching a book with a view of the garden through the window. To my left a log fire crackled and the strains of a Beethoven Opus could be heard.
A few feet in front of me sits a beautiful, blond haired woman.
Nothing startling there, you may think.
What is surprising, however, is the fact that I am naked. Not a stitch on. I have even removed my socks, something that few Englishmen would do only in the most extreme circumstances. Even my watch has gone but I do retain my spectacles.
You have guessed it, the blond woman is Mrs. Jackie Adshead, a professional artist, who is doing two life drawings of me. Jackie is a very versatile artist who specialises in erotic art.
What possessed me to pose nude, you may ask. A few weeks prior to this my wife and I had attended a life drawing workshop held locally. We both enjoyed the day but I have very little talent as an artist. I was, however, enthralled by the model who could adopt difficult poses and hold them for long periods. He was certainly a master of his craft. "I would like to try that", I thought as I have few hang-ups about my body.
I mentioned this to the tutor who said that she could probably find someone to give me the chance. A short time later she put me in touch with Jackie.
Initially I spoke to her on the phone and she came over as a confident and efficient woman with a sense of humour. She said that she would be pleased to fulfill my wish to be portrayed nude in the next few weeks.
On Monday December 1st Jackie rang to ask if I would be available for a sitting at her studio on the following Wednesday at 1pm. "I can certainly do that" I replied, "I have very little on that day". "A few minutes here and you will have nothing on", she chuckled.
I turned up punctually if apprehensively, for the appointment. I wondered what she would look like. I was hoping that she would be a plain, dowdy woman.
I rang the doorbell and a few seconds elapsed before the door opened to reveal a woman with remarkably blond hair and beautiful features. She was a striking looking woman, not what I wanted. I was invited in to her home where she explained what she did and showed me examples of her work. She is certainly a very good artist.
She asked me what I would like done and I requested two drawings using conte crayon on A3 paper. The poses were of me sitting, as previously indicated, and one of me lying supine on a couch. They must be explicit as I did not want a coy representation of me. After all, Newhall men don't do anything half cock!
She explained that the fact that I would be nude meant nothing to her. She could as well be looking at a milk bottle. "Thanks for that", I thought.
During this conversation my confidence grew due to Jackie's confident business like manner and friendly approach. In short, we got on very well.
When the moment of truth arrived I had no inhibitions of removing my clothing. Self confidence is not my main trait but I strode to my chair to assume the pose chosen with assurance.
It did seem strange to be sitting in a room without clothing, with a lady present. After only a few minutes I had grown so accustomed to nudity that I had to look down to confirm my state of undress. The sight of certain familiar bits and pieces assured me that I was totally exposed.
As the drawing was underway we had an interesting conversation and found that we shared several mutual interests and a similar sense of humour.
Jackie suddenly looked up and announced that the drawing was complete. Although it had taken about 1 1/2 hours the time had flown by.
At that point we had a break for a cup of tea and a leg stretch. As it was to be only a short recess I did not trouble to don any garments. My confidence was now so high that I stood talking to Jackie without any embarrassment and also took a walk down the hall to the toilet. I vividly recall hurrying back and swinging into the studio.
Jackie informed me that the second drawing would not take as long as she had got my body shape. Is the technical term the "angle of the dangle?"
On the resumption I took my supine pose on the couch making sure that the position was comfortable. Having settled myself Jackie called out, "Could you lower your right leg please? I cannot see your genitals". When I was a teenager and a regular at the "Rink" dance hall I would have been elated if a girl had made that request. Unfortunately that was over 50 years ago.
As she had prophesied this drawing only took just over the hour and the time flew by.
And so my debut as a nude model came to an end. At the age of 72. It's never too late! I had enjoyed the experience, surprisingly, but I did appreciate Jackie's efforts to make me comfortable in the role. It was a strangely liberating event for me with no feeling of vulnerability which I had expected.
The drawings are magnificent and rate amongst my most valued acquisitions. She has done the "family jewels" proud. Generally women like them very much but men are generally sniffy about them.
Incidently I met Jackie in the street a few days late and she recognised me clothed. She is also a good friend of mine now.
Stuart Haywood.