Do what you do best

It's been another frustating week. The house sale has been pushed back another couple of weeks. I stand the chance of losing the house I'm after and am having to placate vendors, purchasers, solicitors, estate agents and concerned friends and aquaintances. Whilst trying to carry on with my life whilst half of my posessions are packed away in boxes, and half are where they usually live, but collecting dust whilst the legal wrangling continues, and the (currently FIVE!) solicitors are knocking up their bills.

So, when a concerned friend, trying to be helpful, practical and positive, suggests by email:

"Perhaps you should use your art to take your mind off things?? Organise a couple of tutoring sessions, somewhere? It would give you an idea of the popularity any future regular courses would be and also what kind of revenue it would generate. More importantly, it would take your mind off everything else for a few hours and give you something positive to work on."

I knew he was being helpful, and supportive. But my immediate response was - How on EARTH can I do THAT, when everything is so mixed up in my life, I'm stressed with legal wrangling, half my stuff is poised ready to be sent to the new house, I've not painted for weeks, I've not prepared anything for tutoring, I haven't got a venue to work from, I don't even know where I'd find pupils from, and I'm certainly not calm and relaxed, which would make for a far better teaching atmosphere for all concerned!!!!

So, I took a deep breath, and told him my thoughts. About why I couldn't do what he suggested. And then went off to have another lenghtly phone call with the pushy estate agent, and the concerned vendor, and spent the night feeling despondent about my lack of action and ability to do anything much at the moment. Very very fustrating!!!!

But something must have sunk in. Something started off the seed of an idea......

And by the following morning, I'd made a decision.
Ok, I'm stuck with the situation I'm in. I am working on the best way to get out of it. And it will take time. Professionals are working on their part - the estate agents, solicitors (all of em!), Land Registry, the vendors and purchases all down the chain of properties are all doing their BEST to keep the sale. And until it gets to my turn, there is nothing else I can do. Except stay positive. And do whatever I can do, in the meantime. So, what makes me FEEL positive? What makes me FEEL good? What can I DO to help my self?

I can create. I can listen to upbeat music. I can talk in positive ways to the people I need to speak to. I can paint. I can make a piece of art.

And then today I got this email today from my concerned friend, he said

"Sounds like you need to take your mind off things a little though.....

It's surprising how you can feel better about eveything if just one small thing goes your way. Everyday something good will have happened - you may have to look hard for it but it will be there. Just know that it is there if you search for it. Your whole day will be brighter when you find it.


So, the tutoring may be a bad idea - but you forgot everything else whilst you were thinking about it - even for just a few moments. Now you know that you are not ready to make that step so thats a positive decision - something good has come out of the day. See? It's quite easy to build yourself up again if you look for it !!!!"

And he's right. But he told me that AFTER I'd made my decision. What he said just added to the importance of it, and of acting on it.

So, this weekend, I shall be painting. A picture. One I actually started 10 months ago. It's been sitting in my studio, leaning up against the wall, in all that time. I look at it daily. And it's been at the back of my mind to finish it for a long time. So this weekend, I'll continue work on it. Its a landscape, of a woodland scene, a place near to where I live. The late summer sunlight falls through the overhead canopy of leaves, falling golden on the dry soil below. There is a small stream, with eddies and brown depths, the sky reflected in its glassy surface as it goes along its way. But, just to make the picture "mine" I've hidden a couple within the picture. An erotic couple, embracing. They are within the bark of the trunk of a tree. The picture is in acrylics on canvas. It seemed the right medium at the time to paint it in. But, I've been thinking. I think the painting will be better in oils on the canvas. Oils are by far a better medium, they create a far softer atmosphere, and I love their buttery feel, their soft pungent smell, and the feel of the brush in my hands. I don't need to start a picture, I don't need to look for inspiration. It is before me. I just need to add to it. To build on it. To create. And the acrylics below will show me the way to use the oils on the surface.

That's what I need, at the moment. To get lost in a painting......................

Not all QUIET in the library

Before the exhibition was EVEN set up, it was a success!

A success because of a phone call I received a couple of days beforehand......

My contact at the library had rung with a piece of good news for me - she was setting up the programme of events for next year and when she got to the "International day for Women in Arts" she thought of me and said I was top of her list! And asked if I'd be interested in talking to a group at the library about my erotic art and taking along some pieces to show them. I said I'd be delighted to! She said that there would be a woman photographer, sculptor and textile worker there as part of the session, so it all sounds very upbeat and positive and I shall be delighted to be part of it!

And that was before I'd even set the exhibition up!

I set it up on Monday, on my own. I've set up exhibitions before, but they've been part of a group so I've not had to do all of it on my own before. When I've exhibited at Olympia for Erotica I've had a smaller stand and some help, so this time was  more involved. But, other than the carrying in of the artwork (heavy even without the benefit of a hot summers day!), it was ok. And the caretaker was a great help in letting me stay after the library was shut for the night, which gave me the extra time to put up my title cards, and the bio about me and my work. I was weary though, when I got back home, mentally and physically.

I'm delighted with the way it looks, it's my first proper solo exhibition and its one I'm proud of. It's a lovely light exhibition space and right by the front door so people can see it when they go on.

The decision about putting erotic art in was always going to be a moot point. I'd got the exhibition in the first place because of the brightly coloured vibrant abstracts I'd done. But, it's still a public place that children can go to and its not appropriate for them to see erotic art. But the library knew that and left it to me to decide what I felt I was happy with. To that end, I decided that it would be better for me to show all that I do, and not just the erotic stuff, whilst making the most of my brightly coloured abstracts as I know they are popular, regardless of the subject matter. So I took landscapes, animals, still life and dancers as well as the more acceptable erotic stuff.

Whilst I was setting up on Monday afternoon, a little girl of nine and her father passed by me. The child darted past each picture saying "I like that one, I like that one, I like that one" as she pointed to each in turn. All good, if she finds the art appealing. She said "Who painted all of these?" and I said "I did!" her father hadn't heard me say that, and he replied to her "Lots of people, darling" and I turned to him and said "No, I did them ALL". He looked taken aback and replied "In that case, you're very talented" and I smiled at him in his understanding. 

And later on, whilst I was putting up the brightly coloured erotic abstracts an older woman came in search of her husband who was looking at the art, and said to him "I like THAT!" and I turned and said a heartfelt "Thankyou!" as we made eye contact and smiled at each other. The art has valedation.

Yesterday when I popped in to see how things were progressing there were two youngish women there smiling at the "naughty picture" the "Tree of Life" picture that I'd taken as a framed print. It seems to be the most popular thing there, and they were smiling in understanding of what it was and what it depicted. The chief librarian was there, a man in his forties, and they pointed it out to him, and I smiled and asked him "Are you ok with hanging that picture in the library? Innocent eyes only see innocence in it, but adults see it for what it really is" He looked blankly at the picture and said "What? I don't know what you mean" I smiled, and the two other women smiled and pointed at it. He still looked blankly at it and it was obvious that he couldn't see it - one of the women pointed it out to explain it, and I smiled to myself. Children are obviously not the only ones with "innocent eyes"!!!!!!!

Dirty little secrets

Its always nice when a friend asks if you're free to meet him in town for a meal. Its even nicer when you know that he doesn't live in this area but over two hours away by road but just happens to be coming up from the London area for the day. So, I was delighed to accept with alacrity. The fact that he was bringing a friend was a bonus. Especially when I knew who it was, as she was someone important in my life although we'd only met briefly once before.....

The day shone bright (and so it should for flaming June, EVEN in England.............!) and I met them at the appointed time, in the market place where there were busy bars and restaurants. I found them straight away and greeted them both with a hug and kiss. We sat chatting over drinks aboout the weather (how English!), the people in our lives and the lastest gossip. And then I was able to ask her the question, the one I KNEW I was going to ask her..............

"So, how do you like it then?"
And she replied with a big grin and said "I love it, I love it so much I've bought a mirror so that I can see it from both angles"
I smiled with delight and asked her if others had noticed her secret?
She shook her head "No, they haven't"
I was even more delighted to hear that. That was EXACTLY what I wanted to hear!
Infact a guy she knows had been standing really close to study it and he hadn't seen it. Not until my male friend had said "Are you looking for the filth?"
I guffawed with laughter when he said that, as I knew he was being provocative and amusing with that  pointed comment.
Because he was talking about this. This painting I did a couple of years ago which was a gift for the woman, something commissioned for her, and given to her by two close friends who know her tastes well and wanted to give her something special and unique. So they'd contacted me and asked me to do this painting for her. Its called "Towering passions" and is the skyline of New York at night. But hidden within the painting is a naked couple, making love. But most people don't see them, because they're expecting to look at the verticals and horizontals of the skyline and don't expect that there's a secret in there. A secret only a few know about. And that's why she bought a mirror, so that she can see it from all angles when she's sitting in her lounge. How good is that!!!!!!!!!!!!

Building an erotic landscape

Whilst I'm starting one painting I am usually semi-consciously thinking of the next one. You may think that's a bit silly to be half thinking of one painting when I should be fully concentrating on the current one. But there is a reason for it. I find that when I haven't got a painting in the planning stage that its far harder to get going on the idea from scratch. Its actually a lot easier for me to have the idea half formed whilst I'm working on another, and then I can flow from one to the other far easier, almost seamlessly.

And that is the case at the moment, as I work on the living flame erotic couple (which is looking really good, so far). Because I plan the next painting to be an erotic landscape, possibly one featuring trees in a woodland setting, and maybe with water.

So, when I attended an art workshop today, on the subject of "landscape in pastel", I wondered what subject matter to take a long as my source material, and decided that the basic "landscape" for the "erotic landscape" would be ideal. Hmmmm........ I looked through piles of my photos looking for something to inspire me, and came across the ones I took in the Lake District last year. Ideal! Well, actually, not totally ideal (can you get "not totally ideal" ? No, I don't think so, but you know what I mean!). Anyway, the subject is ideal. Its the weather that wasn't. It was a dull day. Because it rains a lot in the Lake District (an awful lot in the Lake District!) and the day I was there it was overcast with the threat of rain. And that doesn't make for good photos. But, if you're only there in that place for an hour in your whole life, you've got to make the most of it, and take the photo, even if the lighting is all wrong. And that's what I did..................

And that's what I worked from today for my pastel. The picture I did was ok, not excellent, but ok, but then that's good for a workshop. I enjoyed doing it, I enjoyed the day, I enjoyed being with my artist friends. A couple of them asked me during the day if I was going to hide an erotic woman or couple within the painting, and I smiled. And at the end of the session, when the tutor took his final look at it, I casually said the sentence that usually has a "shock effect" on all the other tutors I've said it to.............. the one that is "I'm an Erotic Artist and I'm planning on hiding an erotic couple within the painting............" And then I wait. For the stunned expression, the look of shock and horror. And this time, it was me who was surprised. Because the tutor nodded in total understanding, and started pointing at various parts of the painting saying "Yes, you could put one here, or here, there, or over there.............."!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Still, it was nice to have that response, even if it was an unexpected one!!!!! LOL

Huge positive effect

At least it was sunny and warm this time at the Guild of Erotic Artists Event day - so when I arrived, most people were already standing or sitting outside the building, chatting in the late summer sunshine. As I walked past I was aware of my photographer friend talking to a group of people, so I just patted her on the shoulder in greeting, she turned to see me and her face lit up and we hugged in greeting - then and she grabbed my hand and said "Come with me, I've got something I want to show you" - I happily followed her lead and she took me inside to a quiet corner and showed me the photos she'd taken recently - of the subject matter we'd spoken off two months ago, lovely submissive photos taken with an understanding and knowledge of the subject matter and full of sensuality. I thought they were gorgeous and told her so!


Very soon after that the entertainment started - the first part being the body caster who'd taken the body cast of the large breast last month, which he now presented to the delighted owner. And what a beautiful memento for her to hang on the wall! Afterwards she and I stood chatting about the attraction of large breasts, and how some women can use it to their advantage (!). She also told me that its nice to have a pseudonym (as all models seem to do) because that persona can do things that your normal everyday one can't. You can use more attitude, definitely! I told her that when I'd seen her have her makeup done last month, and stride off the stage in such a powerful way, I really loved the effect the makeup had on her in her outfit! And that in turn had led me on to painting a picture of a kiss - which I had incidental taken with me that day to hang on the gallery wall, when the guild secretary has time to rearrange the current artwork. She said she'd be interested to see it, since she had inspired the thought that had helped to create it so I'll show it to her when I get the chance. And maybe my painting in turn will lead someone else on to create something else....

The body caster was selling various casts during the day - it was interesting perusing his wares and seeing various nipples, fannies, breasts, and bums in pure white plaster or bronze. He also had small sculptures of women in various positions, although they obviously weren't casts unless he's visited Lilliput recently!

Then we were on to the first proper entertainment of the day - a burlesque performance by an attractive Eurasian girl who came on the stage in a bright red satin Chinese robe, her hair beautifully arranged with complementary black and red feathers, her mouth matching vibrant scarlet too. The music started with its rhythmic beat and she danced provocatively and sexily whilst she slowly stripped off first the robe, to reveal a red basque, then a red strapless bra under and finally after the large red feathered fans had been twirled to good erotic effect, she removed the bra to reveal two shiny red nipple discs! Rapturous applause from the audience - I don't know why, but the men really enjoyed the show!!

At this point I got chatting to the couple next to me - he's an erotic artist, and she is also an artist but of the more vanilla variety, although she knew a lot about erotic art and was a delight to talk to. We discussed what makes art "erotic" and the importance of a title. He talked about dealing with galleries and how artists and gallery owners quite often have a different view of the world!

Then it was on to the second demonstration of the day which was shrouded in mystery. No one seemed to know what it was about - so it came as some surprise to see my photographer friend get on the stage to introduce herself. She was so nervous, she needed notes, and this was a suprise in itself because she's confident, gregarious and extrovert normally. She explained that what she normally does is lightweight and frothy, images with a bit of fun about them. But she had had this "big idea" recently and wanted to explore it, and was going to show us now, she wanted to thank her husband for his support and "Jackie" she said, pointing a finger directly at me standing in the audience, for believing in her and encouraging her to do it!!!!! WOW!!!!!! I stood there with a huge grin on my face! Now I knew instantly what she was going to do!!

Then she left the stage and five models came on it - the black haired dominatrix dressed powerfully in maroon basque and long matching skirt, the four submissives, all with black hair and pale faces, in black basques, corsets, stockings, holdups and high heels, they gathered around her feet, as she looked down into the face of each one, taking their chins in her hand, as they looked adoringly at her, loving her, appealing to her, pleading with their eyes for her attention and ministrations. Handing out rope, a cane, or a paddle to her, she took each in turn from them and interacted with them. It was so sensual, so erotic, so beautiful to see. At the end anyone else could take photos if they wanted, then the models disappeared. My photographer friend had a lot of people chatting to her, but when there was chance, I went up to her and with a flat expression I said "I didn't like that". Her face dropped and I quickly said " I didn't like it, I LOVVVVVVED it!!!!!!!!!!!" and she said with great force "YOU BITCH!!!!!!!!!!" Followed by a big grin, and a hug, and went on to explain that she had SSOOOOO much wanted me to like it, how important it was for her, how nervous she had been to present it, and I hugged her as she shed a couple of tears and I realised the enormity of what she had done. I hugged her close and said "It was FUCKING AWESOME, what you've done!!!" And I meant it - she had captured something so very subtle, so fleeting, so beautiful, so truly EROTIC.


Later on I was stopped by her husband who thanked me for helping her so much. That she'd not been taken seriously as an erotic photographer before, but now she had proved to everyone that she WAS. And I agreed wholeheartedly that she was! He said I'd been so enthusiastic about her big idea and I explained to him that I as a creative person like to be around other people who are creative and positive, because that in turn feeds my creativity. I don't think partners of creative people always know what to say to help the creative person, so I was delighted to help - and even more so when I saw the results!!! Big Wow!!!!

Later on again when she'd quietened down from her euphoria, I told my photographer friend about MY "Big idea" about the fantasy fannies and what I hoped to do with them - she was intrigued with my description of them, and wanted to see more. Whilst she and I were chatting quietly, the body caster came up to me to say how much he liked my writing for the Event day reports - and I was touched that he'd taken the time to come over to tell me especially. But the Guild is about support and help and the exchange of advice and experiences.

In and around all of this happening, I also had a chat with another artist who had taken some of his artwork to be hung, as I had taken four more of mine to be hung, but until the Guild Secretary has chance to re-arrange the other artwork, they had to be stored to one side. I was interested in seeing his drawings as he, like me, does erotic landscapes. Although his are totally different to mine - his were simple pencil drawings depicting all sorts of weird and wonderful simple shapes, whereas I do coloured paintings hiding the erotic images more.

Whilst I was ferrying my paintings from the car I passed the guy who'd had his sexy low slung sports car cleaned last month by the topless car wash girls, I made a funny comment about him bringing it again for the same treatment, and he asked if I was offering! Ha ha - no I wasn't I grinned! Later on he said he wanted to look at my work, and it unfortunately wasn't until the end of the day that we were able to meet up again - I showed him the two paintings I currently have on the wall and he gave me his very forthright opinions about them, the style, the pricing, the colours used. Whereas he wasn't terribly enthusiastic over them, he didn't criticise them either, but his opinion was useful because he's made me think about who I need target regarding selling my work. He's running a seminar soon on the subject and I think I may well attend it......

One of the things I love about the guild is that the Event days have scantily dressed models standing around in basques and stockings, maybe chatting to someone in jeans and a tee shirt whilst conversations are going on about dominants and submissives, S and M, gay sex, nudity, as well as erotic art and all relating to it! As the Guild secretary commented - where else can you get such good entertainment over the year from your subscriptions!

Celebrity

I’ve been away for a few days this week up to the Lake district. Its beautiful there, even in the rain, and boy, does it rain!!! Lets just say the lakes were certainly a lot fuller when I left than they were when I arrived......

It was good to see all the well known places - Windermere, Bowness, Ambleside, Grassmere, William Wordsworths cottage, Beatrix Potters farm, the tiny gingerbread shop, as well as some gorgeous old pubs, including one with old chamber pots hanging from the beamed ceiling (really, I'm not taking the piss!!!!) and I got a few ( very very very very wet!) walks in as well as a couple of dry ones. I had a fabulous (dry) walk around Tarn Hows which I thought was gorgeous and took loads of photos of with a view (joke!) to using them for paintings some day. I even saw a young red deer on one of my walks which was totally unconcerned at my presence, and eyed me with gentle interest as I took photos of it.

I also went into Kendal where I fell in love with a print of a photo and bought it cos I loved it so much (and I rarely buy artwork!). The photo is massive and framed (just under 4 x 3 feet). The image is in soft muted colours of beiges and pale purples and is of a deserted wet beach with a rivulet of water in the foreground leading on to an old partly submerged tree trunk, and then to some large black rocks in the middle ground, and a misty background. I love it for the interesting interplay of light and dark, the shapes and serene subject matter. I’ve walked on so many beaches that it looks like. And the really really lovely thing about it is that the rivulet of water in the foreground is almost a naked woman so its sort of an almost erotic landscape! Since it’s a photo and not a painting, its just the way the shapes look, but I love it. The photographer could obviously see it too, as the picture is called “She lies within the sand”.

And whilst I was with friends having lunch in an old pub half way up a hillside somewhere in the Lake district, we noticed Richard Wilson (the actor who is Victor Meldrew from "One foot in the grave") at the next table – it was only when he spoke that we all recognized his lovely resonant Scottish voice, but of course One foot in the grave would be about 20 years old now, so that’s why he wasn’t instantly recognized by us. He was with a film crew filming about Englands best drives, so they were all there too. He walked out of the pub whilst we were still eating, but as we were walking up to the car in the car park, and the others had gone on ahead of me, I found myself alone and walking towards him. In the past I wouldn’t have done anything, but because of what’s happened this last year (to me as an artist), I felt I wanted to speak to him. So I just said that I wanted to thank him for the pleasure he’d given us over the years and he charmingly thanked me, we had a little chat and he asked me if I wanted my photo taken with him – so I agreed and asked someone to take it for us, whilst we stood with his arm around my shoulder. I thought that was really sweet of him, and called him Mr. Wilson. I bet he gets loads of people calling him Victor and wanting him to say “I don’t believe it!” but there was no way I was going to ask him to say it. He stood and chatted for a bit and I shook his hand (and didn’t get chance to mention I was an erotic artist, but now I wish I had!). I just felt that since I get a lot of pleasure from hearing people saying how much they like my artwork and how it touches them, I wanted to tell him the same sort of thing for his acting. It surprised me that I did it, lots of people would have been straight in there, but not me normally! Infact thinking about it – HE asked to have the picture taken, not me, so perhaps he realized HE was with a celebrity!!!! LOL

Tree of life

Well, you've all been very patient, and now comes the time of the big unveiling! If you can remember back into the far distant mists of memory of last November, dj kirkby asked me if I could paint an erotic landscape for her, and I happily said I would. It was exactly the same week that Willsibob asked me the very same question (although his painting was totally different) so then I had a few problems juggling commissions and getting them ready for the Christmas deadline. After a brief discussion with dj kirkby, she decided she'd be happier to leave the painting for Chopper until his birthday at the end of March. This suited me very well, as I needed to spend a lot of time planning the picture. Because what she was asking for was very challenging to do. She wanted the painting to look like an erotic couple AND look like a landscape. So, to innocent eyes, the painting would be innocent, and to knowing eyes, the painting would be erotic. Mmmm...... Plus, she wanted the couple to BE the landscape as well. So, two pictures in one. Quite a daunting task!!!

To begin the painting I knew I would have to start with the couple themselves, and somehow make them the geography of the landscape. And as I had to check each time that dj kirkby and I were on the same wavelength I emailed her at each stage of production for her feedback. Firstly with the original sketches, then as she ok'd them, with the working drawings, then building up on that, until we got to a final design we were both happy with. From then I had to do a working painting so that I could work out the colours, the lighting, the contrasts and any other fine details that needed looking at. And sent that to dj kirkby to make sure she was happy with it. She was. That took the best part of three months, along with an awful lot of thought in between times! But, once I had a good working drawing that I was happy with, the rest flowed! The final painting was done in only a few weeks, but by then I only needed to follow my working painting as all the thoughts had gone into it by then. I worked hard on it, as I knew she wanted it for Choppers birthday and I was going away in mid March and had to send it to her and know she had received it before I went!

So, the great unveiling! You can see sky, cliffs, sand dunes, rocks, a beach, a tree, a cave, the sea and a phallic looking lighthouse. But, what else do you see..................? I'm delighted with the painting. It is both erotic and a landscape. And the title? It's called "Tree of life" because although the tree in the painting is the womans arm and hand, the tree is also situated where their bodies are joined, where they are creating life.

And I know I shall be painting more pictures like this, as they are unique. And I like painting unique pictures. So, who wants the next erotic landscape.........................?

Happy blog birthday!

Today is my first blog birthday! Yay!!! A whole year of blogging - Wow! I never realised when I first started how much I would enjoy it and what friends I would make through it.

And what a lovely way to celebrate it by finishing dj kirkby's erotic painting! And she's as delighted with it as much as I am, so that's two of us happy! Its been an interesting way of painting a picture, since all of the planning has been done by email. Its certainly been a very interesting painting to do because I had to first find out exactly what dj kirkby was thinking of when she suggested it, and that took quite a bit of time of emails back and forth as we both asked questions of each other and explored possibilities. Then I drew a few sketches and sent them to her to make sure I understood what she had described to me. She told me her thoughts. More adjustments were made, and I sent her some more detailed drawings. Again, she wanted changes and adjustments, and I found it quite a challenge to do what she had asked, but I worked though it and had a moment of pure creative brilliance (even I was impressed with it!!) and came up with the final design, and even the title for it, all within the space of one evening. Wow! And I know when that happens I'm on the right track, because the creative ideas flow and that means the painting will too. And dj kirkby was delighted with the result too - great stuff! From then, I just had to work out the colours and send her a working painting so she could see the final colours before I actually started the painting itself. And all this took a couple of months, on and off. But then, and only then, I could start the painting. But when I finally started it, I knew exactly how it was going to be laid out, the exact colours, the tones and where they would be, the interest, the artistic tricks that make the painting look interesting and as I painted it, it flowed and I could concentrate on getting the paint down and hopefully making it all pull together as a whole painting. I finished it and send a copy of it to dj kirkby and she requested a couple of final touches, which I did after checking with myself that it would add to the painting and not deter from the overall feel of it. And now its done. Finished. Another WOW! I've sat and looked at it since I've completed it, and would be very happy to have it hanging on my wall. I've put many long hours into it, both in physical design and in mental thought. Does it illustrate that? Yes it does. It's a clever painting. It both looks like an erotic couple AND it looks like a landscape. That's a huge challenge to do, but I've done it! And today's the day it's finished, born on the blog, and finished on my blog birthday! A good sign!


And cos I'm in a good mood, and I'm sure dj kirkby won't mind, I'll show you a few bits of it. You'll have to wait a while til I'll show you the whole thing, cos it was to be a secret until then. But, as a taster, here are a few poignant bits.........

White light

Whilst painting dj kirkbys erotic landscape I've been thinking about the use of light and dark in a painting. For me, a painting is far more interesting if it has deep darks and bright lights. But sometimes that can detract from the subject matter, and the painting just becomes a study in sunshine and shadows, and whilst that is exciting, it probably wasn't the best way of painting this particular erotic landscape. So, I needed to work out where the light source is coming from (the sun in this instance) and brighten the parts where the weak sunshine is hiding the geography of the landscape, and darken the weak shadows to create the form of the land. The sky has scudding clouds in it which makes it look more interesting than a flat blueness, and that in itself shows why the sunshine is weak in the painting. So, on to the choice of tonal value, and by definition the bulk of it has to be mid-tones, with just a few bright lights and deep darks to add interest. And that got me on to thinking about the best way to show bright lights in the painting. Because you can't get brighter than the white of the canvas (although I was covering it in paint) so then, you can't get brighter than the white paint you have, but what you can do, to make the light seem lighter than it is, is to darken the colour around it, and by definition the white will seem brighter, will shine and glow more.

And this got me to thinking, along with another conversation with my spiritual healer friend, that life is mostly mid tones, alot of it can be grey and dull coloured, but occasionally we get bursts of colour in our greyness, some bright bold, vibrant and exciting colour that makes us feel good, and whatever those bursts of vibrant colour are depends on the type of person we are, and the way we measure excitement, it could be the joy of seeing a good friend, a special day out, a long awaited holiday, or just a favourite film on the telly. And amongst the mid-tones we also get bursts of bright white light that fills our existence and brings great joy and deep personal fulfilment. But to experience it, we have to have the darks. We might not like the darks. We may not want the darks. We may fear the darks. But... they have to exist. They must. Because without them, the vibrant colours won't be vibrant. And the bright whites can't exist.

So, to follow on with my thoughts on the erotic landscape, have I put enough bright lights in it? Should I put some more in it? And are the darks dark enough? And, as it's mostly a green landscape, should I put a dash of bright red in it? Because red is the exact opposite of green on the colour-wheel, (as green is made of the other primary colours, blue and yellow) and that dash of red will add a huge piquancy to the picture, it will make the overall picture far more vibrant. And that's what we're searching for in life, isn't it?

I have standards you know

I saw my friend last night and amongst other things, she showed her usual interest in my latest creative outpourings and asked to see what I'd done this week. I showed her both the artwork for the erotic landscape I'm currently working on and the vanilla river scene I painted over the weekend at the workshop I attended. She really loved the river scene, particularly as I had added a unicorn on the far bank of the river and went into raptures over it. I dismissed it as an inferior piece of my work which surprised her. So I had to explain...... how can I get excited about a painting I'd done at a workshop when it was one of those step-by-step days when the tutor shows his painting, then paints part of it, for instance the sky. And we all paint the sky in the same way he has. Then he paints the hills. And we all paint the hills in the same way. Then he paints the trees etc etc and at the end of the day all the people in the room have an identical painting to take home. You might wonder why I would go on one of these workshops but I know that the painting is not actually the end product, the LEARNING is! So I learnt new ways of tackling landscapes and tips for painting BUT the picture I brought home is not something I am proud of. It can't be. Its just a mediocre painting of some other artists choice, that I have copied. The only bit of "me" that I put in it was the unicorn! I can't exhibit it. If I sell it I have to say that its not actually my work. I wouldn't be proud to admit it was mine even. The only way I can do anything with it is to go over it with pastel or acylics to radically change it so that it has my creative input in it. So I file it with the others under "learning" and get on with my proper art having learnt a new trick or two about how to tackle a certain subject matter in watercolours, and having had an enjoyable day spent with other artists.

But when I showed my friend the working painting I am currently working on for the erotic landscape, then I can get excited! REALLY excited!!!!! Its all my own work. The concept works so well. The picture is clever in that it is both an erotic couple AND a landscape. And how clever is that, to incorporate the two that they work in conjunction with each other? I've spent three months on and off thinking about it, planning it, discussing it with dj kirkby and now I'm at the point where I'm finally working out the best colours to use for it, the tones, the use of light and shade. I may have to do two, three or four working paintings before I'm happy with the end result and then, and ONLY THEN, can I start painting the actual painting. Now..... THAT'S exciting!!!

What do you see

That last blog post was most interesting! Mostly for what other people see in my artwork that I don't always intend! Now I'm not sure if that's because everyone who reads my blog has an active and fertile furtive imagination (!) or because anyone, however vanilla they are, will always see other things within an image. Or because people who know me, and my art, know that I tend to put erotic images within my artwork, so will actively look for it even when I don't intend it! The last image I showed of the red landscape was taken from a friends photograph. She liked the image because she went to the actual place. I just copied the photograph and didn't add anything to what I saw infront of me except one naked woman lying on the rocks within the foreground, and one flying through the air in the clouds..... and yet.......... everyone who has viewed this painting has seen other images within it, some of them quite graphic! How wonderful is that??!!! I paint erotic landscapes without even knowing it!!!!

Seriously though, I love doing these erotic landscapes and want to do a lot more of them. But first, I need to finish the one I'm currently working on for dj kirkby. Its a really exciting picture and I can't wait to see the finished painting!

Thinking of naked women

Always looking for new ways of doing things I often go on art workshops - sometimes it might be a subject I'm not that interested in but I always come away having learnt some new technique for painting or drawing. The workshop the other day was landscapes in acrylic and I knew it would be helpful whilst I'm contemplating the best way to do the erotic landscape I'm currently working on. And there were quite a few other people there that I knew, so its good to see how they tackle painting a landscape, although they were all thinking hills and trees and I'm thinking of naked women! Because for me, painting a picture, whatever it is, is usually enhanced if I can find a way of incorporating a naked woman in it! And of course, its not helped by the fact that a lot of people I know, also know that's what I do.... so then I get a challenge - "Ok, Jackie, make this one erotic! "And then, of course, that's what I'll do with it, and that's exactly what I did with this one. The picture is ok, nothing special, its just a working piece to try techniques and effects, but at the end of the session I spent a little time playing around and put in some of my typical images......... just to see what I could do....... and you know what? ............. The people who have viewed it so far, have seen erotic images that I didn't intend, and perhaps missed the ones I did! I love it when that happens................

So.................... what do YOU see in it...................?

Popping corks

The last few weeks have been busy and for various reasons I've not been able to see my model to do any erotic drawings. So, it was good to see her this week and get a picture down on paper. I thought it would be good to use a prop with her, and to hint at another person she was interacting with, even though the other person can't be seen within the drawing.... and it struck me that a bottle of champagne and two champagne glasses might just do it! The minute I saw what underwear she was wearing it also gave me the idea of how the composition of the image should be. Her black bra perfectly framed her breasts, giving them a lovely lift and rounded shape and this lead on to the idea for the next stage. It seems to me that a champagne bottle is deeply erotic when used in conjunction with a half dressed woman, particularly the phallic shape of the bottle, so I got her to lean forward so that it was almost framed between her breasts....... leading onto the thought of what would be happening next if it wasn't just a bottle she was holding in her hand........... And I know the idea of a popping champagne bottle actually leads on to that thought too! So the drawing is called "Come join me" - which amuses me greatly!


And also whilst I'm talking of celebrating and erotic art, I've been in communication with dj kirkby regarding the erotic landscape I'm painting for her. Over the past few weeks, I've come up with a few ideas, and told her of them, and drawn her a few sketches from my ideas, and shown them to her, and listened to her thoughts and suggestions, and gone away and thought some more, and drawn some more, and shown her the next stage, and we've discussed it, and I could see what she meant if she any criticisms she had of it, and have adjusted them and created a better picture through it....... and you know what? I love the design I've finally come up with! Its taken a long time to get to it, because its so challenging - to paint a picture that looks like a landscape. AND to paint a picture that looks like an erotic couple. Both difficult enough things to do on their own - BUT THEN, I've got to interact them so that they work in conjunction with each other at the same time! Now, THAT'S a challenge!!! But...... after working hard on it, thinking alot about it, and sitting down and working through the designs, I've come up with a good image - it works well as a landscape AND as an erotic couple, I've worked out the tones and composition, I've worked out where to incorporate the clever artistic bits that give a picture that "zing" and now i've got to work out the colours for it....... So, the next stage is to sit down with my palette and mix up some colours, see how they interact with other colours and get them down on paper to see the effect. And then...... after all this, comes the good bit ......... I get to paint the actual picture!

Pleasing people

Last week when I did my talk for the WI, I wasn't sure of their reaction. I knew they knew I was an erotic artist before I went, and probably expected me to be a brazen hussy of some description (it goes with the territory!). But I went, and I talked to them for an hour or so about being an artist all my life, how I had started life-drawing and how that had evolved into erotic art. I defined erotic art for them. I showed them lots of artwork - landscapes, tigers, fairies, angels and unicorns, tango dancers, as well as numerous erotic drawings. I talked about drawing people, setting up compositions for drawing my models, about painting peoples fantasies of themselves. I told them funny anecdotes of the people I've met and their differing reactions to me as an erotic artist. And I offered to paint any of them who wanted me to and guaranteed confidentiality if they wanted to be painted as scarlet women! They politely clapped at the end, and I chatted with some of them afterwards. But I wasn't sure if it had been a success and I came away wondering how much I might have offended them........

Then this morning - I had an email ......

"Hi Jackie

Sorry for not contacting you sooner.

Your talk to our WI was fabulous.

All of our members were enthralled and fascinated with your erotic drawings and paintings.

A Tribute to your art.

Thank you"

.....Phew! So, they liked it!!!!!! Thank goodness for that! I might be persuaded to do it again then!

And to carry on with an upbeat theme. I've finished the erotic landscape of New York now, and emailed the finished images to the client, so that he could ok it or request any changes he might want, before it was collected. And this morning I got an email from him:

"Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. Well done, I can't wait till the recipient sees it, I believe it will give her great enjoyment, a unique painting for a unique person, and I absolutely love the title!... and many thanks indeed for your extremely hard work."

So..... another happy customer. Great news. So................ I suppose you're going to want to see the painting now aren't you? Well...... here it is, the finished oil painting on a box canvas:

The painting is called "Towering passions" as I wanted in some way to incorporate the lights of where the twin towers once stood, as a hint of the title, and perhaps take away from the erotic couple a bit - a sort of play on words. And here's the detail of the erotic couple so you can see them clearly and how they look. They're nicely hidden in the main picture but clear enough if you know where to look. The fact they're muted has helped to hide them, and putting the lights over them has also helped to disguise them within the image. I've loved doing this painting as I love hiding images within images.

And just to make it a hat trick - I've just had another conversation with someone who has commissioned me to do the second dog portrait for a Christmas present. She showed me the photos of the dog and we discussed mediums, and size and whether I was getting the artwork framed, all the usual questions that I ask when someone commissions me. Originally she had thought she wanted a pencil drawing of the dog, but then mentioned in passing about a favourite painting she has of another pet dog and how much she loves it and would adore this commission done the same way...... but she wasn't sure of the medium it was painted in, but had always wanted to know. So I took a look at it........ and could tell her the answer to her long wondered question....... it was done, very cleverly, in gouache, the background being a pretty, scumbled wet effect and the dog itself painted in fine wet on dry detail with every hair shown and I said I could paint the new commission in the same way if she so wished. Oh yes!!! I'd made her day with that offer! So, I'm happy to help and glad I can be of service ....... and pleased that sometimes I can help make dreams come true.......

Rising prices

I went out for dinner to a friends house the other night. Its a house I go to regularly and always get pleasure from seeing the artwork on the walls there..... partly because one of the drawings is mine, and hangs prominently on the wall there. Its not an erotic one, just a vanilla one. And there was also another painting there, in the same room, done by an artist I've known for some years now and see occasionally. Its a lovely painting of his, with beautiful ethereal blues and hazy purples and I always take pleasure in seeing it again. And by coincidence I had been in his company the day before. He's a nice guy and we always have a how-are-you-what-are-you-doing-at-the-moment? type of chat. I had mentioned to him that I've finally found my niche in the artistic market, since I had last seen him, and was painting erotic artwork nowadays. He did the usual man thing of wanting to know my website address so he could view it!! Women generally go quiet and men generally ask for my website when I tell them I'm an erotic artist!! He also gave me a piece of very useful advice - about raising the prices considerably on my artwork - he said not to be scared of putting a high price on my artwork. He knows, as well as I do, that a higher price may put some people off and lose a sale, BUT it can also attract a different type of buyer. Someone who is looking for an investment, and knows the price will increase in value over time, as an artists profile is raised and the artist becomes more of a commodity. And later on, whilst eating dinner with my friends, who had no knowledge of this conversation I'd had with my artist friend, they jokingly made reference to them helping me to raise my profile, because they know that the picture they have on their wall will increase in value. Certainly, the price I charged them for it all those years ago when I did it, would certainly have a lot different price on it now if I did it. They know they have an investment already. That's good to know, that that's how they view it.

And on to what I'm painting this week - I've almost finished the first erotic landscape of New York and am delighted with how its going. It's been a slow process because it's been painted in oils, and I have to keep waiting for various areas to dry before I can do the next bit. I started off with an acrylic under-painting, then built up the colours of the sky, and the river before starting the detail of the skyscrapers. I realised soon after that that the sky needed to be darkened to make the skyscrapers stand out more, so I did that, and then put in the mid-tone underlighting of the buildings ready for the actual "lights" to be painted on top of. Then I was ready to put in the detail of the erotic couple, I knew that I would spend a lot of time getting them to look right, but they also needed to be subtly hidden within the buildings too. It was clear that the area they reside in had to be dulled down in colour and tone, so that the viewers eye wouldn't go immediately to it - so that's what I did. And ...... then........ the BIG and MOST important part of the painting - putting on the lights of New York! - they all had to go on in one painting session, so that they would look uniform in shape and colour and style. Deep breath....... and on with it............ and at the end the whole thing had that "WOW" factor - suddenly, the whole thing has come alive, and at the same time, the judicious use of lighting has simultaneously, hidden the erotic couple too!!!! Yay!!!! I'm really happy with it, and have almost finished it - just have to wait for this part to dry before I put the highlights on the water, and then spend time just looking at it and correcting any glaring imperfections, and it'll be done. Just got to think of a title now.......... I've got a few ideas already, I'm just mulling them over to see what feels right.......

Reaching out

This week, I've had the initial design ok'd by dj kirkby for her erotic landscape, and now better understand the image she's looking for and how I'm going to create it. Normally when painting a picture, I have a clear idea as to what I'm doing, and how I'm going to do it, but with her erotic landscape, its actually two pictures in one - the erotic couple AND the landscape, plus her interpretation of it. Which makes it a bit more difficult, but not impossible, when I ask the right questions and listen to the answers. So, steps forward on that, which I'm pleased about.

Plus, I had an interesting phone call this week from a woman I met in the summer. When we first met a few months ago, and she found out I was an artist, she expressed interest in meeting me, and perhaps working together. This week, she was going to email me, had a look at my website and through it, read my blog post (the previous one to this), and felt a huge empathy with what I had written about opening the soul, when I paint. Because she's a spiritual healer, and is writing a book on the subject, and is interested in talking to me about illustrating it. So, my words really connected to her. She asked me if I was surprised, and I said no. I think she was surprised at my saying that, but I know of four other people, just this last six months, who have said the same thing to me. All for different reasons, they have had an urge to contact me, and wanted to meet me, because of my blog and website. And I suppose that's why I have them - to reach out to who ever reads them, and see what response I get. And just to follow on from that, there are people I know in real life, who just drop it into the conversation, that they regularly read my blog, but because they don't leave comments, I don't know that they do. Its a funny thing blogging - you write regular posts, in the hope that someone, somewhere, reads them, and yet there's the surprise element when you find that some people actually do!!!

Work in progress

I'm making progress with my two erotic landscape paintings, after what seems an interminable age of nothing happening (to me, at least!). I now have a clearer idea of what dj kirkby wants for her erotic landscape, and separate to that I have now had the initial sketch ok'd of the other painting of the New York skyline so I'm ready to start painting it. And itching to get going on it!! The image has strong horizontal lines, broken up with strong vertical lines within the centre third of the painting. The viewers eye sees these strong geometric lines and is happy. But, hidden within the painting are the more rounded shapes of two lovers, she on top of him, he prone below her. It will be obvious, when you see them, as to what they are doing, and yet, it will take the eye a while to see them, as they will be painted in a subtle way, using the same colours as the buildings they are superimposed over. And whilst the contrast of the buildings will be stronger than the contrast in the couple, they will be hidden. This sketch is only a simple version, the finished painting will be brighter, with more depth of colour and contrasts in it. But it takes a while to find the couple, even so.

There's so much to do when starting a new painting - there's the initial idea, the thought process of how to convey that idea on paper, the thumbnail sketches to complete the thought process, choosing the right medium - whether watercolours will be better for their fluidity and movement, or whether oils or acylics would be better for the brighter and stronger colours and the ability to overpaint. Then the layout of the image on paper, making any final adjustments to that. THEN the actual applying of paint can start! (this is why I say that to produce a painting, nine tenths of it is the thinking part, and only a tenth is the actual painting, no matter how difficult it is to paint). And whilst I'm painting, I'm still thinking, still trying to work out if things could be better improved with the addition of something, or the deletion of something else, whether to change the colours, or add a dash of interest somewhere else. And I know when its actually finished when I look and look at my painting and can find absolutely nothing to improve upon. Then its done!

I was talking to an artist friend over the weekend, who I have not seen for a few months, and she was asking what projects I'm currently working on - so I told her about the two "erotic landscapes" and went into detail about how I was going to do them, and what was involved. She knows the two paintings are going to be a challenge to do, and made the comment that as an artist you're selling part of your soul. And I know what she means - we are producing part of what makes us artists, the creativity that is so deeply ingrained within us, that we have this need to create and produce artwork, and we advertise it for the world to see. Its like showing part of your inner self. And she asked me, where do you begin to put a price on that...................?

Being wicked

I've spent all this week thinking. Nothing wrong in that. I do it a lot! But I haven't been producing. And that's frustrating for me. I like to produce artwork on a constant level. It feeds the momentum of my creativity. But this week I've had to think....... deeply......about how I'm best going to do the erotic landscape responding to the request of dj kirkby. I knew it wasn't going to be easy when I accepted the offer, and also I haven't seen any other erotic art from any other artist elsewhere, to use as a starting point. There are some pieces, but not in the style that I want to use, or with a fully erotic couple as opposed to a couple kissing in the clouds or something equally tame. So, I'm having to start from scratch. I've started with looking at entwined erotic couples and trying to work out how to make them look like a landscape. And, so far, there seems to me to be three ways of doing it, any of which would work ok as a concept - I can either paint the couple in the shades of a landscape, so their bodies would be the greens of fields, and by adding a sky above, they would instantly look like a landscape, and the viewers eye would accept the deception quite happily. Or I could paint them using the details of a landscape as their features, for example utilising trees for hands, shrubs for hair, rocks for nipples, and I think that would work nicely too. Or I could paint a forest and in the foreground paint an old and twisted tree incorporating the entwined couple within the aged bark and hide them nicely there. All good ideas, and my quick drawings show me that they all would work in principal.... And I'm itching to get going on the designs now, and would ideally like to spend tomorrow working on it. But I put my name down a few weeks ago to attend an artists workshop. So I've got to attend that instead. Damn! And I'd forgotten what the workshop was about (as I go to a lot, to pick up new tips and learn new ways of painting). So, this morning I found the paperwork and after perusing it.............burst out laughing!!!!! The workshop is "Mountains and lakes in acrylic" - great!!! perfect!!! But the best bit is that the tutor "will be demonstrating how to use Acrylics as watercolour with emphasis on developing YOUR OWN skill and YOUR OWN individual painting style". Oh......... How wonderfully BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!

......So..........................whilst all the other workshop attendees will be busy working on their skies, trees and rocks, there will be me, working out how to incorporate a naked couple having vigorous sex within the structure of the painting!!!!! ......... I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Making landscapes erotic

I've been busy this week with many things on various levels, but I've also been in separate discussions with two unconnected people who want totally different versions of the same thing! They both want me to do a painting for them, in oils, on a box canvas, and they both want an erotic landscape. Great fun! Just my sort of subject and very exciting to do! But they want different versions for their paintings - the first is of a city scape - like Boston or New York, the typical picture we all know so well of a horizontal landscape, split into three - clear sky, buildings on the land, water in the foreground. But hidden somewhere within that picture, I have to introduce an erotic couple. To me, there is only ONE place they can go, because the whole point of this painting is the hidden part of it - so the couple can't be in the sky, or the water, they have to be hidden within the buildings themselves. This will be a bit difficult, as the couple will need to be horizontal, whilst skyscrapers, by definition, are vertical! I had considered putting the couple in one or two of the skyscrapers but I think they might look "trapped" there, and not as well hidden as if they were horizontal. The painting will probably be at twilight/dawn so there will be colour in the sky and water but the buildings will be dark except for lit windows, which will make the painting very dramatic and interesting even before I add the couple. MMmmm..... interesting idea for a painting, and I shall enjoy very much doing it. I know exactly how I shall do it, once I've found a suitable erotic couple for the focal point.

The second painting is also of an erotic landscape, but totally different to the one described above. This one will require more thought, as the couple will BE the landscape, and the landscape will be them. At first glance, this painting will be a rural landscape,with trees and grass, plants and shrubs. To innocent eyes it will be a nice and pleasant landscape, it will only be on further investigation that it will become clear that there is a couple entwined within the picture, hidden somehow between the hills and hollows, valleys and peaks....... I think..... or maybe I won't do it that way, maybe the couple will be trees entwined around each other, their limbs merging and becoming one........... or perhaps the couple will be outcrops of rocks and craggy mountains. There's a lot of thought I need to do for this painting. It also will have water in the foreground, and maybe a mystical feel to it.

So....... that's what I'm doing this weekend...... thinking around the eroticness of a landscape..... and hopefully producing some drawings to show how each painting will look, so other people have an idea of what I'm considering before I sit down and start painting properly. They will both be subtle and clever, both with a secret, both fun to do, and I hope, fun to look at!!