Pull it all together then!

I've been struggling for a while to think what image I want for my Christmas cards this year. In previous years I've done tigers, a snarling snow leopard, unicorns. I could do another animal, I have considered that, but I know I want to do something a bit different this year. I have had the general thought that a scene from the village I've moved into might be a good idea. It's certainly a pretty village with lots of lovely old cottages full of character, an ancient small church that looks like it comes straight out of a Grimms fairy tale, and there are some gorgeous walks around here so I could do a rural scene of rolling hills and sturdy trees under winter skies. I could do all of that, but for some reason they're not hugely inspiring me......

I know that part of that struggle for inspiration is due to the fact that I've got a lot of less than artistic things still going on in the background (well, its more the fore-front really!) of my life, so its difficult to get into the flow of painting when there are flurries of phone calls and emails from solicitors  full of questions that need answers regarding finances and accompanying forms to fill out and get signed, and have witnessed. I don't mind doing it, it's all of what I have to do to start my new life. But it's not the best background for being creative in........

I have ideas running though my head......

I have lots of ideas....half forming....swirling around......erotic images......erotic words.....erotic deeds.....erotic sights.......erotic stories half written.....

And seeing my new muse again last week so soon after the last time has added to those images. She is so sexy, and sensual, and beautiful. And a whole part of that sensualness of her is the fact she seems to be totally unaware of it. It is so natural in her. And yet in her everyday domestic life she doesn't show it so much. It's only when she has chance to blossom that it comes to light. Her man knows it, and loves to see that side of her. I see it and what to capture it. I've never wanted to paint anything as much as I want to paint her.......

The weather is unusual this year. Normally we don't get any snow until after Christmas. Maybe a few flurries in the air, but nothing that even vaguely counts as even a light covering of it. But it was cold last week, bitterly cold and dry. And at the weekend there was snow, enough to get the kids excited, and for adults to be concerned about driving on the roads. It cleared a little though, but the following day didn't get above freezing, so the hoar frost covered roof, tree branch, grass and walkways alike. Very pretty, I love it! The world has turned pristine white.

Yesterday was warmer though and it started to melt, the roads were clear and I was able to go out on my financial business. But I did notice it had snowed again late last night as I went to bed...

...This morning it was white over. A blizzard of snow. I looked out to see people trudging past on their way to work and school.

A day for stopping in.

I was due to go out but cancelled it.

I'd got better things to do.

Pictures to paint. Images to create. A Christmas card image to make.

I've got it! Why hadn't I seen it before?! What image is the right one for me this year? What image is haunting my dreams and my daylight hours? What image is the one that I want to paint above all others? What image is the one that ends this turbulent year and starts the next afresh with full hope for the future?

Only one.

And it's not tigers, or unicorns, pretty cottages, and ancient churches.

It's my muse.

That's what I'll paint, along with the magic that she brings with her, for me.

That's what I'll paint......


.....let it snow...let it snow.........let it snow..............

Be - mused

Sometimes you build things up in your head. And when you get the chance to check them out properly, they aren't what you expected. The disappointment sits heavily on your shoulders, and you wonder how you could have been so stupid to have expected things to be any different.

But, I like to look at things from all perspectives (ha, that was an artist joke!!).

I like to look at all angles, and face the good and bad in equal measure. But, I will always find the overall balance of good, because I am ever the practical optimist. But I know its not good to expect too much. Experience has shown me that........

She was waiting for me, in the pub, where we had agreed to meet. She and her man. It was a large, busy pub, on a Saturday night. We walked in, my man and me, and stood at the bar, searching faces. But we were spotted first, and waved over. They stood to greet us, and we said our hellos before settling down at the table. I made a point of sitting opposite her. I wanted to look at her......

We talked, of mundane matters, and important things. We talked of people and places, of times past, and present, we talked about ourselves, and our passions, our shared interests, our wishes and desires, of good things and bad. We ate a meal, and drank, and talked, the four of us. But there were still so many questions to ask, so we moved on, and carried on the conversation afterwards back at the house over more wine and a more relaxed atmosphere.....

She was happy to pose for me, and touched at my request. She had presumed on our first, previous meeting, that I wasn't serious about my desire to draw her. But I was. Absolutely, totally serious. When she understood that, she delightedly agreed that she would pose for me....... 


All artists look for the muse, the one who will inspire and aid the creative spirit, the one that makes you want to pick up a brush and paint. The one that fills your waking hours, and sometimes your dreams too.

And this one scares me.
And excites me.

In equal measure.

I am excited by her beauty, her transluscent skin, her cascade of dark hair, her sensual mouth, her soft enigmatic dark eyes, her look of fragility, her innate sexiness, her full womanly body.

I am excited by all of that.

But I am scared.

Scared that I won't do her justice. That I won't be able to capture the image I see of her, in real life, and translate her beauty from a three dimensional living being, to a two dimensional flat drawing on paper.

Scared.

But, I will .....try..............

Slowing down to speed up again

Talking to a good friend from foreign shores yesterday, he mentioned in passing that when he first started reading my blog a couple of years ago,  that it seemed that everytime I wrote there was a new drawing or painting of mine to view and comment on.

And he was right, there was.

But there hasn't been for a while now, and that's because of the circumstances of my private life. This last year has been very very challenging on many levels, and I've had to make some very difficult decisions, a lot of them full of high emotion. But, that has in turn, over the months, gently flowed into something more settled, leading on to me being able to move on, physically and mentally. Hence, my finding a new house after a remarkably short time of searching! A place to paint, and create. A place full of light for an artist. Full of inspiration and hope.

So, when Stuart rang yesterday for a chat, he said, with some surprise in his voice, that I sounded more lively than I have of recent times. And I laughed and said "More perky you mean!" and he smiled and agreed at my choice of word. I smiled too, and explained to him that it was because I have purpose again after a year of inactivity and frustration. I have the thought of a wonderful new house to go to, one that will encourage me to paint new pictures and market the existing ones, perhaps find new galleries, new collectors of my work, new friends, and new beginnings. And I'm excited at the thought.......................

A bit of French

I'm just back from a few days in southern France and after the misery of this years cold and depressingly wet English summer, it was a joy to be in hot sunshine again! Everything looks so much better in bright sunshine, the natural colours shine and purple shadows dress the landscape. Its rare for me to like a landscape that isn't bathed in sunlight. And of course French rural landscapes are full of ancient limestone buildings half forgotten in their bucolic decay.... their aged weathered doors just clinging on to the last remnants of faded paint, worn steps lead up to flowerfilled doorways, shuttered windows look out upon the day, and cobbled paths lead up to interesting hidden shadowy passageways, I just had to go and investigate! I was in artist heaven!! Ok, so it wasn't erotic art, but it was full of inspiration for me - and I took enough photos to keep me busy with a hundred future paintings! (and that is NOT an exaggeration!). But....... even though I was full of inspiration for old French tumble-down buildings, I was greatly amused to see that others think of erotica quite often too......... Whilst visiting the famous wine village of Chateauneuf du Pape, and clambering up the hill to look at the remains of the papal chateau, I stood admiring the grandeur of the old building, which is basically a couple of tall castle walls, some old stonework, an archway, a few windows, and a large piece stone flooring, I was much amused to glance down and opened my eyes in wonder to see ......an extremely large and very erect phallus drawn out in the dust of the stone floor, seen in ignorance by the majority of visitors there, but to an erotic artist it was MUCH evident, and caused me a few minutes of wicked mirth to see what someone else had thought of, and most had overlooked or walked over in total ignorance!

So.......... back to painting again........ now........what shall I do? French landscapes versus erotica.......MMmmmmmm.............. tough decision!!!!!!

Specialist treatment

Talking to an artist friend of mine tonight we got on to the theme of subject matter. And he said that he spends an awful lot of time and money painting the subject that truly and totally inspires him (rusty old wrecks of cars, would you believe!) and he's never got any money and hardly ever sells any of his paintings, but still he paints them, and enters them in whatever exhibitions he can, and will continue to paint them, regardless of any lack of subsequent sales. And it made me realise that that's what artists do - although we choose to paint our subject matter, perhaps it chooses us! We paint the things we have empathy for, the inspirational subjects that fill us with great passion! I know I can't get excited about painting a vase of flowers - it will never be anything other than a vase of flowers, to me, but I adore painting people and their interaction with each other, and letting the viewer find their own definition of what they're doing, and why.

Claire from "the erotic woman" emailed me today after looking at my website and liking my artwork - thank you Lucy again, for the recommendation, and said my artwork had a "unique and sensual style". That made my day! That a complete stranger who deosn't know me or my work, can see that in my images is really wonderful! And makes the whole painting thing worthwhile. although I'd do it for myself anyway, when I get feedback like that, it makes me realise other people are stimulated by it too and it fills me with enthusiasm and encouragement creating the passion and inspiration to fire up again.

Sometimes being a successful artist isn't about sales, it's about being allowed to create what's inside us, and letting other people see that, and feeling good about yourself when they can relate to what you're trying to show them.