Pull it all together then!

I've been struggling for a while to think what image I want for my Christmas cards this year. In previous years I've done tigers, a snarling snow leopard, unicorns. I could do another animal, I have considered that, but I know I want to do something a bit different this year. I have had the general thought that a scene from the village I've moved into might be a good idea. It's certainly a pretty village with lots of lovely old cottages full of character, an ancient small church that looks like it comes straight out of a Grimms fairy tale, and there are some gorgeous walks around here so I could do a rural scene of rolling hills and sturdy trees under winter skies. I could do all of that, but for some reason they're not hugely inspiring me......

I know that part of that struggle for inspiration is due to the fact that I've got a lot of less than artistic things still going on in the background (well, its more the fore-front really!) of my life, so its difficult to get into the flow of painting when there are flurries of phone calls and emails from solicitors  full of questions that need answers regarding finances and accompanying forms to fill out and get signed, and have witnessed. I don't mind doing it, it's all of what I have to do to start my new life. But it's not the best background for being creative in........

I have ideas running though my head......

I have lots of ideas....half forming....swirling around......erotic images......erotic words.....erotic deeds.....erotic sights.......erotic stories half written.....

And seeing my new muse again last week so soon after the last time has added to those images. She is so sexy, and sensual, and beautiful. And a whole part of that sensualness of her is the fact she seems to be totally unaware of it. It is so natural in her. And yet in her everyday domestic life she doesn't show it so much. It's only when she has chance to blossom that it comes to light. Her man knows it, and loves to see that side of her. I see it and what to capture it. I've never wanted to paint anything as much as I want to paint her.......

The weather is unusual this year. Normally we don't get any snow until after Christmas. Maybe a few flurries in the air, but nothing that even vaguely counts as even a light covering of it. But it was cold last week, bitterly cold and dry. And at the weekend there was snow, enough to get the kids excited, and for adults to be concerned about driving on the roads. It cleared a little though, but the following day didn't get above freezing, so the hoar frost covered roof, tree branch, grass and walkways alike. Very pretty, I love it! The world has turned pristine white.

Yesterday was warmer though and it started to melt, the roads were clear and I was able to go out on my financial business. But I did notice it had snowed again late last night as I went to bed...

...This morning it was white over. A blizzard of snow. I looked out to see people trudging past on their way to work and school.

A day for stopping in.

I was due to go out but cancelled it.

I'd got better things to do.

Pictures to paint. Images to create. A Christmas card image to make.

I've got it! Why hadn't I seen it before?! What image is the right one for me this year? What image is haunting my dreams and my daylight hours? What image is the one that I want to paint above all others? What image is the one that ends this turbulent year and starts the next afresh with full hope for the future?

Only one.

And it's not tigers, or unicorns, pretty cottages, and ancient churches.

It's my muse.

That's what I'll paint, along with the magic that she brings with her, for me.

That's what I'll paint......


.....let it snow...let it snow.........let it snow..............

Passing on the creativity

My mate the erotic writer Lucy Felthouse came over the other night for a drink and a chat, and I know most "business" meetings are boring - but ours NEVER are!!! Since we're never far away from what Lucy smilingly refers to as "smut"! (lovely word, so very evocative!). But when we're both in the business of selling erotic fantasies, what do you expect! I've not seen her for months so it was great to have a catch-up chat and ask about each others work and what each has been doing in our private lives... she's always amused when she thinks that a lot of people think she's actually done what she's writing about. I'm never asked that though, but perhaps people expect that one way or another, an artist creates an illusion......

By the end of the evening, when we were all "smutted out" and it was time for Lucy to go, she commented about me writing about some of the things I'd talked of to her. I could instantly feel the fire of desire rise within me! I wanted that, I wanted it a lot. I've always felt that I want to write, and the obvious thing would to be erotica, so, that's given me something to think about, too..... which is normal when Lucy and I get together!

And there must definitely be something in the air this week, because when I had a chat on the phone earlier with my new muse, to arrange the next drawing session, and told her that I'd stayed up til 2 o'clock in the morning drawing her because I was so inspired, and she told me that she was now also inspired to write some erotic stories too! I love it when the creative spirit feeds from other people's creativity! Absolutely love it!!!!

I'm really pleased with the drawing I've done so far of her. I needs a bit more work doing on it though before I show it here. It was difficult to even decide which paper to use to start with. I made the mistake of starting with a coloured textured paper, and tore it up before I'd done too much to it, to swap to a smooth white cartridge paper. She's so soft and feminine, that the paper has to match that softness. I decided to use dark graphite pencil in the end, rather than a colour, or a range of colours. Again, her beauty doesn't need to be gilded too much - just a single colour will emphasis that. But I know the more I draw her and the more I am used to looking at her, and seeing her, that I may branch out to other colours, other textured papers, other coloured papers, paint, bright vibrant paint, and large brush strokes. But, I am starting slowly at the moment.....whilst the passion rises within me again.

Be - mused

Sometimes you build things up in your head. And when you get the chance to check them out properly, they aren't what you expected. The disappointment sits heavily on your shoulders, and you wonder how you could have been so stupid to have expected things to be any different.

But, I like to look at things from all perspectives (ha, that was an artist joke!!).

I like to look at all angles, and face the good and bad in equal measure. But, I will always find the overall balance of good, because I am ever the practical optimist. But I know its not good to expect too much. Experience has shown me that........

She was waiting for me, in the pub, where we had agreed to meet. She and her man. It was a large, busy pub, on a Saturday night. We walked in, my man and me, and stood at the bar, searching faces. But we were spotted first, and waved over. They stood to greet us, and we said our hellos before settling down at the table. I made a point of sitting opposite her. I wanted to look at her......

We talked, of mundane matters, and important things. We talked of people and places, of times past, and present, we talked about ourselves, and our passions, our shared interests, our wishes and desires, of good things and bad. We ate a meal, and drank, and talked, the four of us. But there were still so many questions to ask, so we moved on, and carried on the conversation afterwards back at the house over more wine and a more relaxed atmosphere.....

She was happy to pose for me, and touched at my request. She had presumed on our first, previous meeting, that I wasn't serious about my desire to draw her. But I was. Absolutely, totally serious. When she understood that, she delightedly agreed that she would pose for me....... 


All artists look for the muse, the one who will inspire and aid the creative spirit, the one that makes you want to pick up a brush and paint. The one that fills your waking hours, and sometimes your dreams too.

And this one scares me.
And excites me.

In equal measure.

I am excited by her beauty, her transluscent skin, her cascade of dark hair, her sensual mouth, her soft enigmatic dark eyes, her look of fragility, her innate sexiness, her full womanly body.

I am excited by all of that.

But I am scared.

Scared that I won't do her justice. That I won't be able to capture the image I see of her, in real life, and translate her beauty from a three dimensional living being, to a two dimensional flat drawing on paper.

Scared.

But, I will .....try..............